SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

So it's been four hours since MID- my new contribution to this forum.... lol move in day. She is still mad as hell and isn't speaking a word to me. Just nasty looks. Told her the days of running my life are over. I suspect he'll tire of this quick- the drama- and his CO may sped him along. I'll update Thanks for all the kind words and advice! You helped me emerge from a dark place I never thought I'd have to visit.

Great work! Make sure you stay on task. Do the 180 with her , she'll eventually start trying to manipulate you. Don't let her.

Keep the tape rolling. Desperate people do desperate things. Wish you had bought the GoPro.

Rubix, how will she try to manipulate me?what tactics can I expect?

It's called hoovering...overly apologetic, kind, sweet, sexy ...lots of sex sometimes...so expect it.

Rubix, how will she try to manipulate me?what tactics can I expect?

Gw, quick post until Rubix weighs in.

She may go with a false DV accusation to get you out of the house. Especially if she is getting coached by OM. That's why you need to record/tape your encounters with her.

She may run to him but I doubt he wants that. He'll see this is all unraveling.

She'll sex you up to make sure she has a backup plan to the OM. Once the shit hits the fan for him he will dump her. Or just ghost her. She'll amp up the sex.

Once she sees she is out of options she will fall sniveling and snot nosed at your feet, swearing that she will be the wife you deserve, if you just give her the chance.

She'll lie to her family and beg them to contact you to take her back.

Yeah, all that and more sometimes.

The way she's acting now I don't see the sex angle... lol I caused her some real turmoil moving back in unannounced. She went for a drive and got right on the phone with him. One of the reasons , other than it's my damn house, was that she has $30 to live on till September 15th..... blew all her summer money, can't pay bills , etc. OM offered to send $50.... lol told her that I'm back and he can shove his cash. I will take care of my kids. She had a knee jerk and said they would take the apartment I left for the rest of the month. And live on $30 dollars? Not on my watch. I told her this is purely financial and I want nothing to do with her. She tried the guilty crying and all thaf. He doesn't care what's going on in her liege he just wants FaceTime sex.... and now he can't get it because I'm here. I think even if I wouldn't have turned him in it would have ended soon. He's too far away to give a real shit. She is getting 180'd and I look for her to soon wonder why I'm not trying to get her back...... I guess that's where the sex manipulation comes in to play, right!

Yes, once he kicks her to the curb, she will likely be right back to you wanting her hubby.

Like a BOSS.!!!

Next step: become best friends with your lawyer. You need legal protection in leaps and bounds at this point.

TimeLessLoss nailed EXACTLY how this will play out emotionally, so now at least you know how to prep.

LOL at him sending her $50. That's less than you need to spend on chaturbate.

Well since the last post things have calmed. She was very agitated and threatened to leave the house for the apartment but it isn't feasible. She agreed to stay here with the kids and I told her we were just roomies now. I told her I have no interest whatso ever in her , told her I knew all the lies she had spread about me to OM and anyone else who'd listen. Even told her I had it in black and white. She still denied even saying them, lol. By time for her to go to bed she was very cordial, and even said goodnight very pleasantly. I think the whole thing shocked her because I took control right out of the gate and never let up. I told her I wasn't here for her, I wasn't here to beg her back, and I didn't want her back at all. She probably thinks this is all anplan to get her back, so I set her straight. She seemed genuinely shocked when I told her I had no interest in getting her back. Last time I was here I was the bwggingnpleading guy willing to do what ever, now I could care less and told her as much. I did tell her he would probabaly be dumping her soon because of the drama, and even told her to pack it up and run to him. She. Just put out excuse after excuse why she couldn't right now. I told her him offering her $50 to live in for a month should say something....... but I will see how this progresses as the next stage unfolds. I don't think she'll move out anytime soon because she can't afford to. Once she was I could really care less and am not trying to get her back, I agree with the others and think some form of manipulation will come into play. He's a thousand miles away and his world is about to crash down as well.

a missile tech is a job field in the navy. you don get paid more or less for different jobs. you get paid for your rank and time in service. if hes on a sub they change crews over so hes not getting sea pay supplements. point is that hes not rolling in cash. no enlisted guy is rolling in cash and most of the officers arent either. no one i knew got rich off military pay.

chances are hes lied about how much he makes. chances are hes quasi paycheck to paycheck. whats his rank?

something weird is she stayed on base with him. in a hotel? that could mean he lives in the beq (bachelor enlisted quarters) but if hes been in a long time thats rare. most chiefs and above live in town or on base housing. its possible hes married too.

who did you talk to in his chain of command? their rank? what did jag say?

He's an e 7 - she stayed at his house on base

Gw5263

Be very careful as she may try to make up some domestic violence to get a RO on you.

Get a Variety, or record every interaction with her.

She is not who you thought.

Good luck

She seemed genuinely shocked when I told her I had no interest in getting her back. Last time I was here I was the bwggingn pleading guy willing to do what ever, now I could care less and told her as much.

She's probably a narcissist. Having two guys fight over her was what she was really into. Just stop fighting for her with the 180. Period. Once she notices this she WILL change her tune. Mix that with her facing the reality that $50 boy probably isn't interested in keeping her, she'll soon have zero guys fighting for her.

She will begin manipulating you through niceness, through guilt, through the kids. The 180 and legal coverage is the ONLY way to cover yourself here. Define yourself through actions, not words.

I did tell her he would probabaly be dumping her soon because of the drama, and even told her to pack it up and run to him.

This isn't the 180. How you voice this is "I am not willing to be part of an open marriage, you can do anything you want, but I've decided what I'm going to do". PERIOD. Don't say anything else, she'll just use it to make you out as the bad guy or to manipulate your words. PERIOD.

.

I don't think she'll move out anytime soon because she can't afford to.

This isn't what you should do but it's too funny not to say -- up her boyfriend's offer of $50 for help and offer her $60 to move out tomorrow.

He's a thousand miles away and his world is about to crash down as well.

DO NOT LET HER KNOW YOU HAVE EXPOSED.

You need to quit talking to her

This sounds like infatuation not love. I am thinking this guy will probably run away if you keep the heat on. What a cheeky b*tch he is to tell her to separate from you. It's about time someone pulled this guy's pants down, I hope it is you.

[This message edited by Smillie at 9:20 AM, August 22nd (Tuesday)]

who in his chain of command did you speak too? too low and they can bury this.

what did jag say?

So I guess with all the communication she's had with OMsince my return, he's convinced her divorce is the best option. She texted me just now and said that we have to be apart forn60 days and she does want to proceed with the divorce. Man , he's got some power over her. Can't wait till he's called in the carpet.

Gw,

Have you sent the packet to the JAG?

That's her version. No doubt he is advising her. He may not dump her right away. I'd rather he waits until she gets cheated on by him. Anyway, no longer your concern.