I can relate StrongHeart...absolutely relate.
Couple words of comfort and support;
Hope is to the soul like breath is to the body. Satan is absolutely out to kill and destroy.....and he will attack all forms of hope.
A critical error made by many christians, including myself, is to disregard the very true fact that we are born into a battle. This is a fallen world. You have done well to understand you are being shot at.
"Man....I've been shot!!"
"I know, we've all been shot....but can you still fight?!"
This line from a movie reminds me that we have all been injured. Doesn't at all MINIMIZE the true facts, but does help a person gain perspective.
WHATCH THOSE FALSE AGREEMENTS!!! Things you state as fact may indeed be LIES.
My relationship with my parents is damaging, but I can’t afford to move out.
Is this true?
How much will it take?
How can your raise the money?
What boundaries can I install BEFORE my goal of moving out is reached?
My relationships have not worked out (since I started dating 16 years ago).
Is this true? Are ALL relationships you had not worked out? Have any good ones with teachers, coaches, pastors, best friends, etc.?
VERY GENTLY......as this is an emotionally charged arena.
Even if this IS true, there is good news to be found here. The only person you can change is.....you. YOU have been in some failed relationships.....
why have they failed? What has your role been in them? Can you see a pattern? What can you do to break that pattern? (And NOT being in a relationship with anyone is NOT an option! Satan loves to keep you believing lies that keep you isolated and highly vulnerable. Things like "See, I am worthless...just look at the guys I attract!" "My Dad was right...I AM ugly" "I wouldn't wan't to date me either". Learn to sit with these feelings and thoughts......and how to dig under them for the deepest motivator you can find for them. DON'T believe your feelings.
No matter how strong feelings are they are not facts!!!!
Feelings are like kids....you don't want them driving your car, but it ain't healthy to lock them in the trunk either!
I see VERY clearly now how my wifes independent, removed stance was attractive to me initially....I see how it led her to adultery over time. That CLARITY only came through asking really tough questions of myself....seeing some very ugly truths....reaching the end of myself...and reaching towards God.
I think this is what y’all were referring to as satan’s attacks, right? But they have left me so hopeless and beat down
Yep. satan has hit his mark with many of the blows he has seen fit to deal you. Sounds like he is as crafty with you as he is with me....hitting me in known sore spots over and over. Best defense of this is to identify those long standing wounds, bring them to God, and allow him to heal them.....and be open to that healing no matter how painful a process it will be.
I want to hope that “God will fix things” and that “He has a better plan for me”, but I can’t. He won’t do anything to change it.
He does have a better plan for you, he is restoring your heart.....but he is not a genie, nor does he want to be. God wants a real, living breathing relationship with each of his children. And just like I want this from my daughters, I allow them to learn how to do things. I don't want to tie their shoes for them when they are 5, don't want to drive them too and from work their whole career....I want them to learn to do for themselves WHILE understanding I have their back should the need arise. Unlike God, I make mistakes. God is growing you through this trial. You ARE choosing better.
I am not guaranteed success or happiness, just because I am faithful and love God.
We are guaranteed salvation. But we are not guaranteed success as we often define it. Knowledge and faith....can have one but not the other.
So, I adjusted my prayers. I began to pray for God’s will to be done in my life rather than praying for my own heart’s desires…or praying that my heart’s desires be aligned with His desires for me…which I have been doing for a while now. The problem is that it has not restored my hope.
Prayer is critically important...but that is not typically what restores our heart. Most often we need actions combined with prayer. We are in a battle after-all. We need to pray that our "General" will guide us....but we need to take that step in faith up and out of the ruts we find ourselves in and grow forward.
Ruts are nothing more than graves with the ends kicked out!
What can I hope for if not for these things to work out? But I can’t bet on God “helping them” because he will not interfere with free will.
Hope for things to work out!!! Just be open to having God's will be done in YOUR life and don't make the mistake of assuming these two fatal assumptions:
That my (StrongHeart) will be done regarding my parents.
That whatever works out is God's will!!!
To be sure, its never Gods well for parents to be toxic, for marriages to end in divorce, for sex trafficing to be growing, etc.. These are results of free will being used in wrong ways....almost always a result of deception, though sometimes we simply choose wrongly out of plain old ignorance. My wife never set out to be an adulterer....it hurt her to the core. Which is exactly what satan aimed for! She didn't get there through one bad choice...she got there through a series of wrong choices that eventually included adultery.
My path towards more increasingly shocking "worse" sin was identical....satan's crafty that way.
All of that to try and say to you StrongHeart that you are NOT ALONE!!! All the lies you have believed urge you to own that lie as a fact....and in doing so your hope is dwindling.
I get this.
You GOT this. God is in your life and I pray other folks are allowing him to work through them to get to you.
I am going to pray a specific prayer of clarity and courage for you. God is answering your prayers.....the pain and stress within your world right now is keeping you from owning this fact. But that doesn't make it any less real.
You can shout lies...and they remain lies.
You can whisper truths....and they remain true.
NOTE: I don't believe in luck, karma or coincidence. There are reasons you chose the nickname you did.....you are stronger then you think, shame on satan for under-estimating you. But, that's not the first time he's done that now is it?