Thanks SteadyChevy and Hopeful77.
Went to a friends house last night....game night with friends. fOM son was there....a surprise, kind of.
Son looks like OM. I hadn't triggered in a while....I did, kind of.
Like you, SteadyChevy, I've been angry with God over my wife's affair.....the personal pain it caused me, the 7 kids affected by it, my own inability to be bold.
Like your devotional, Hopeful77, I've been guilty of "knowledge based faith".....the false belief that if I did the "right" things I would not be hurt. Faith with ME as the center.
Almost 4 years from DD 1 and I can testify that when we have joy in our lives, satan attacks. Last night, seeing his son at a party we both were excited to attend, was a surprise but one that was quickly met with ...."Okay, I didn't see this coming. But it is upon us. What are we going to do about it, God?"
Emotions urged me to FIGHT!!!
Wisdom gained through this trial had me recognizing all my emotions, treating them like the signal lights they are, and then boldly exposing the facts.
He's a 10 year old boy. He, like me, was not a reason for his dads choices....my wife's choices.
He, like our girls, has been hurt by the affair.
My wife, like me, is hurting to look at a child hurt by her choices.
That particular affair is no more...I see my wife digging for hard to face facts of her own and have faith she will continue to find ways to disrupt the pattern of living that produced her affair and kept her in the isolated state they keep her in.
Then I made a conscience, out loud choice (in the bathroom) to act on facts, making sure to "have all my emotions while not letting them have me".
And I genuinely did not get angry at this surprise attack by satan....this has his MO all over it.
I choose to have the fun we knew would be had....and did!
He's really a fun boy and was actually on my game team!
No way could this night have proceeded to take place even 2 years ago. And that's not my credit to take, it's Gods.
Grateful for the work God does for me through other folks too!!! And have faith he has used me in similar ways.