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Support Through Prayer ...Part 3

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steadychevy posted 6/5/2017 08:15 AM

Praying CharliB. Praying for strength of mind and clarity of thought.

CharliB posted 6/6/2017 20:17 PM

Thank you Steadychevy.
I am feeling more of God's strength and love today.

BrokenheartedWif posted 6/7/2017 11:12 AM

Praying fro you (CharliB) and the rest of us.

CharliB posted 6/8/2017 11:28 AM

WH tells me he plans to tell the kids this wkend. Please pray for them that they will be able to handle the news and God will give them His comfort,grace and peace. Please pray that wh will be honest with them and allow them to feel what they need to feel. Please also pray that WH will choose to get help for himself.

steadychevy posted 6/8/2017 12:59 PM

Have done and shall do, CharliB.

CharliB posted 6/8/2017 20:16 PM

i also have a lot of financial stuff to deal with right now too :(. Pray for strength to deal with all of this at once. Thanks guys

BrokenheartedWif posted 6/8/2017 21:28 PM

praying CharliB

CharliB posted 6/11/2017 19:26 PM

meeting with my kids tomorrow night to tell them about their dad's extra curricular activities and some of the financial decisions coming down the pipe. Please pray that I will be able to hold it together and not project my feelings on them. Thanks guys!

BrokenheartedWif posted 6/11/2017 21:54 PM


Praying for you and your children.

needfriendshere posted 6/11/2017 23:32 PM

(((Merida))). I am so sorry to hear about your mother. I pray for comfort for you and yours in this very difficult time of loss.

CharliB, I pray that you and your children are doing well after the events of this past weekend. How did they take the news?

SteadyChevy, may God give you strength as you let go and move on with your life. May He bring you joy beyond comprehension and that perfect peace that passes understanding. You deserve it.

(((Brokenheartedwif))). Hoping things are going more smoothly for you and that you and your H have been able to restore joy to your M. My H and I have - on most days...

I need to remember to pray for all of us here in this thread - that we will learn to place our trust in the only One who will never betray us, lie to us, or let us down. Time does heal. And so does He if we yield to Him. Hang in there, you all!

[This message edited by needfriendshere at 5:33 AM, June 12th (Monday)]

CharliB posted 6/13/2017 17:38 PM

Update on this past wkend:
Didn't get a chance to talk to the kids until Monday night. I took 3 of them out for dinner, 4th is away at University, 7 hrs away. We had a great dinner together. Kept things light, chit chatted about girlfriends and activities they did on the wkend. Afterward, called my son on speaker phone. Asked them what their Dad shared with them. He had told them, although he hadn't informed me about that. I clarified what they were told. Offered to answer any questions they had. They didn't want to know who the OW was in LTA. I suspect my oldest knows. He said he would ask me when the younger ones aren't around. They said that they suspected something was going on. They reacted more to their Dad having to sell the house due to financial troubles.( I get this because it will affect where they live, especially my oldest since he has been living full time with his Dad.) I think they are still processing. They are worried about me. Saw this most with my youngest. My son who is away was broken up about it more. Likely won't be home again before house is sold. Also misses us and can't be here with us. Overall, it went better than I expected. I am having a hard holding it together today. There is so much uncertainty right now.

LaVoie posted 7/8/2017 07:10 AM

I m battling to start a new message. I need some urgent spiritual warfare around me. It's been a year and 7 months since the last souldestroying affair. I've had terrible panic attacks, depression, nightmares, night terrors where I cried myself awake while murdering them both, another suicide attempt last night after a fight over him flirting, touching a woman. He just left, only came home this morning, got dressed and left. I don't even know where he is. Orders my son to stay home to watch me. Feels like he doesn't care and is sick and tried of me. But I have to keep my mouth shut and allow him to do whatever!

LaVoie posted 7/8/2017 07:13 AM

I m battling to start a new message. I need some urgent spiritual warfare around me. It's been a year and 7 months since the last souldestroying affair. I've had terrible panic attacks, depression, nightmares, night terrors where I cried myself awake while murdering them both, another suicide attempt last night after a fight over him flirting, touching a woman. He just left, only came home this morning, got dressed and left. I don't even know where he is. Orders my son to stay home to watch me. Feels like he doesn't care and is sick and tried of me. But I have to keep my mouth shut and allow him to do whatever!

steadychevy posted 7/8/2017 10:21 AM

LaVoie, I'm praying hard for you. For mental strength and clarity. I pray that your suicide ideation stop. That it gets under control, at the least.

Please get help for your suicide ideation. You have value as a person and the world would be worse off without you even if your WH doesn't recognize that. I don't know if you have suicide hotlines in South Africa or not. If they do please keep the number with you and call when you are getting to that state. There is a risk, ass well, that your WS could use the attempts against you and get you "put away". Please get counselling, if possible.

I made a suicide attempt a couple days after DDay 1. No sleep for a couple of days, no food, emotional breakdown. I'd never been suicidal in my life. I was trying to escape an inescapable pain. Pain like I've never known and I've had some serious injuries. Unrelenting mental anguish. I guess, in reality, those who attempt or commit suicide are doing it to escape pain from some source. I just never had any ideation. I never tried again. I did hope I would die from natural causes, though. My IC gave that wish a psychological name that I can't remember. I thought the pain was bad enough that, if there was any mercy, I would die from it and hoped I would. I got beyond thoughts of suicide and I no longer hope my natural life would be shortened respectably. I suspect the stress has had a negative effect on life expectancy all by itself though.

The reason I tell you this is to try and reassure you that those feelings do pass as you get stronger and are able to deal with the emotions and anguish. I want you to have hope for a better life than you have now. That with strength and determination and the help of God you can heal from this devastation even though you will carry the scars. I pray that you seek God by prayer and ask for his help and guidance.

It seems to me, from way across the ocean, your WH is abusing you terribly, is blameshifting and deliberately traumatizing you. By keeping you a psychological mess he is free to do what he wants whenever he wants. I don't know your situation. Is there any way you can get away from this extremely toxic situation? IMO, your environment is keeping you sick.

Nonetheless, I want to reassure you that I'm praying as hard as I can that you get the spiritual strength from the Lord to combat the warfare you find yourself immersed in. And, please, LaVoie, you're valuable to your son (and other children, if you have any) and you are one of God's children in your own right and precious to Him.

CharliB posted 7/9/2017 13:04 PM

(((La Voie)))
hugs and prayers. I know what you are feeling. I have felt that way too when I was in the thick of things with my stbxh. I was suicidal as I watched him carry on with his affair(s) and coming and going, staying out all night and constant lies and manipulation. You are precious to God and your kid(s) need you too!! I had to get away from him to start healing. Is this a possibility for you? Please reach out to those around you who can help get you out of that situation. I know it is hard!!!. You have to look after you, in order to be there for your kids.

hopefull77 posted 7/19/2017 10:28 AM

Just wanted to share this reflection from Fr. Ron Rohlheiser

Soul-Chained to Things Beyond Us

In his novel, Clowns of God, Morris West suggests that there are deep reasons why we are so incurably restless: “The fact is that we live only in communion – not only with our present, but with the past and future as well. We are haunted by a whole poetry of living, by lullabies half-remembered and sounds of train whistles in the night and the scent of lavender in a summer garden. We are haunted by grief, too, and fear, and images of childhood terror and the macabre dissolution of age.”
Living, at least living with a certain restfulness and peace of soul, is not as simple as we think. We shouldn’t be so surprised at our perpetual disquiet and pathological restlessness for we are haunted, as West puts it, by a whole poetry of living that doesn’t allow us to be easily inside the present moment. Too many things that have nothing to do with the present moment constantly invade our consciousness. We are, in the words of Toni Morrison, “soul-chained” to things beyond us. Our hearts sense things, remember things, and connect to things in ways that we do not necessarily want and these half-remembered, half-thought, and half-felt feelings forever keep us from being comfortably inside our own skins. They bring the past and future into our present and they chain our hearts to worlds beyond us.
We feel this most clearly and painfully whenever we suffer a heartache or an obsession for someone we love but can’t have. Whenever that happens, as we know, the ache in our hearts makes for a heaviness, an emptiness, and a restlessness that robs us of virtually all of the joy we might experience at a given moment. There are so many times when we have every practical reason to be happy and content, but, because of a heartache, simply cannot give ourselves over to the moment or be content inside of its simple joys. Our heartache, coming from somewhere beyond, colors everything with its restlessness.
And it isn’t just romantic heartaches that do that to us. We suffer through obsessions of all kinds. Memories, regrets, hurts, intuitions, nostalgia, and daydreams of all sorts, are forever impaling themselves inside of us and leaving us deeply restless. Karl Jung once said that energy isn’t always friendly. Whenever we have a heartache, a regret, or an obsession that spoils our day and leaves us too restless to sleep at night we experience what he meant.
This is both good and bad: Some of the things we are chained to produce pain and restlessness in ways that rob us of sunshine, freedom, and sleep. Often, when we are restless, the thoughts and feelings that have invaded us are unwanted. We wish we could be free of them in order to enjoy our lives, without these thoughts and feelings roaming around inside of us like ghosts inside a haunted house. But, painful as this can be, we really wouldn’t want the opposite.
If we could ever be content simply with the pleasures contained in a given moment, like a contented animal munching grass in the sun, we would, by that same token, reduce ourselves from human to animal. What makes our souls different from the souls of animals is precisely the fact that our souls are infinite in their depth, infinite in their yearnings, and therefore infinite too in the realities to which they are chained. Our restlessness is, in fact, a sign of our humanity.
Sometimes of course this wears us down and we get to so weary and tired that we want only to numb ourselves against those things that over-stimulate our souls from beyond. This numbing ourselves to depth can be healthy for a while, as a convalescent space, but in the end we need to be haunted from beyond. The ghosts that haunt us bring with them depth, spirit, and meaning.
Morris West tells us that we are always haunted by things beyond us, but he adds: “I am sure that it is in this domain of our daily dreaming that the Holy Spirit establishes his own communion with us. This is how the gift is given which we call grace: the sudden illumination, the sharp regret that leads to penitence or forgiveness, the opening of the heart to the risk of love.”
What haunts us from beyond is also what drives us beyond simple, animal, satisfaction and opens us to other worlds.
In her novel, Love, Nobel-prize winning novelist, Toni Morrison describes a young boy who is falling rather hopelessly in love with a woman who is incapable of reciprocating that love. This, she suggests, will surely lead to heartbreak and ruin: “God help the boy,” she laments, “if he got soul-chained to a woman he couldn’t trust.”
We all know the pain and heartbreak of that! But the reverse is probably worse: God help any of us if we become so dulled, calloused, or self-protective that we are no longer soul-chained to worlds beyond us.”

northeasternarea posted 7/19/2017 10:50 AM

Thank you, hopeful.

kaygem posted 7/19/2017 10:54 AM

Hopefull77, thank you for posting that!

I want to join this group and be more active here.

I need to hear from other Christians who are going through this. I need hope. I am hoping to make a PM friend that wants to chat and support each other as Christians going through the same pain.

As a Christian, I never thought I would be going through something like this. I thought our marriage was affair proof.

We were deeply spiritual, had common goals of loving each other until death, raising kids for Jesus, staying active in our church.

I just don't understand how a man who has walked with God for so long (Christians and together since we are 16) can do such a horrific thing as infidelity?

What happens? How do people go to such a dark place?

My fWH is trying hard, has come back to God and is doing everything a fWH should do. And yet I so wonder...is it real? Is he really who he says he is now? What's to prevent him from going back to that someday? He says he's relationship with God is stronger than ever now and he is living in Grace again and walking with Jesus..but ??

BrokenheartedWif posted 7/29/2017 06:56 AM

Thank you Hopeful77. That was nice

hopefull77 posted 7/29/2017 07:51 AM

I recently bought a book called 52 UNCOMMON DATES
By Randy Southern with a foreward ht Gary Chapma
The love language guy.
I put it on my kindle and had one sent to my H kindle.
it has a list of different date ideas but it also has questions to ask that are scripture related...
check it out!
today we are spending the day together doing one of the suggestions...we've done a few....
peace everyone

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