SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Thanks for the update SG.

If your STBXW moves to Florida, close to you, would you date her?

No I would not date her. I want to move on but 2 years from now maybe I would feel different. She is the past I just can't love her like I did before.

Thanks for the update Spaceghost

Thanks for the update! Does your STBXW contact you often?

SG,

I believe thatyou moved to Florida to not see her dating, rigth?

So you gave up friends and home for a fresh start and then she is moving near to you.

Why dont you just go back home??

As she is the mother of yoir kids, IMHO yiu will always know if she is dating and when she finds someone. Yiu are conected for life.

IMO yiu will find someone in no time that wants the dame relation you want, it is a matter of time. I Hope your WW had moved on by that time ti avoid the drama

I was in a lot of despair when I came here. Life is looking up for me and so that is my update

SG, that is the one thing I personally want every BS in JFO to get to, which is a firm ground to stand on after the worst of the storm has past, so that you have future to look forward to, with or without your WS. You just take that path forward one day at a time. It won't be long before you vision into the future reaches out further and you have a better idea of how you really want to live it. The stronger you get the better you are at letting go of the past, and the more likely you are to take risks knowing that no matter what happens you'll survive. Hey, you're already a survivor and the golf game is showing it, right?

As for you and STBXW in the future, I'm going to guess that the likliness of that reunion would require her to come out of her own struggles as practically a brand new woman. So much so that you may not really classify it at all as a reunion. Regardless, she has to throw her hat in the ring like any other woman now.

I am not sure why you are surprised about people's reactions to your decisiveness SG.

You acted swiftly, decisively, and the way I wish more JFO victims would. You have nothing to hang your head low for. You are more of an inspiration than anything.

Regarding your STBXW, her plight is sad. She did this to herself and it's sad to see her pining for you, even traveling to Florida to be close to you. A long time ago, a wise boss of mine told me "You have to determine if the fucking you get is really worth the fucking that you will get". She obviously didn't think about this. Sad but it is what it is.

You are in a better place and I am pleased you have found your path SG

Yup. Consequences are horrid. My grandmother died of cancer because she smoked two packs a day. She did it to herself, but it doesn't make it any less avoidable or any less sad.

Being human isn't always happy. (Except for when the Yankees lose)

hi space,

Good to hear your doing well and still doing your golfing.

Questions...............

you stated you were selling the house, was it sold?

Where is she living? what did you do with all of your stuff?

does your ex-to-be still work and with OM?

Did OM wife leave him?

Has your ex to be been dating?

How is she getting along?

Why would she want to move where your living?

does it bother her that your dating now?

Has she yet stated the "Why she had to cheat"?

Do your kids come to see you?

Hi SG

I saw a post or two you made in other threads and you sounded like you are starting to rebuild your life.

I know this Christmas will be different for you but I wanted to wish you and your family a Happy Holiday.

How is your golf game doing so far?

HM

I will try and give an update this week. I do lurk but I get to wound up at some of the stories I read.

The golf game is great but I miss my kids although my daughter just came down for Christmas! I need to give an update soon but got to get some rest right now.

SG,

Good to see you back here.

Like many others who followed your story from the beginning,I feel great sadness at what happened.

As a BH (twice) I know how traumatic it is.

To you and your family all best wishes for Xmas and the New Year and for the future.

SG-

You are my HERO..

Merry Christmas to you and yours.

Yours is the most inspiring story I have read in 12 years on this site. I only lurk every few years now but you are the bravest strongest person I have encountered on this site.

I commend your conviction to stick to your standards.

Again, happy holidays

DT

New to the site, just read through this thread from the beginning. SG's handling of his wife's A strikes and strong chord in me, the one that seeks justice and revenge for my WW's betrayal of me. It warms my heart that she is reaping what she sowed. Infidelity is deal breaker for me. My WW also performed oral sex on AP which pisses me off so bad I don't need skins on SI cause its always bordered in a red haze. My situation, and that of many of the others here I've read, however, makes the choice of R, however unpalatable, something I have to consider, and will work at as long as she gives me a 100 percent effort. I have no idea if its going to work out. She doesn't deserve another chance, imo no cheater does, but both my son and I deserve a chance at having a better life, marriage, and family, while it may be a longshot, but is possible with a renewed commitment and a successful R. I have so much respect for those of you that stick to your guns and take care of yourselves, and to those of you that are strong enough to give them a second chance. I know that if my WW ever felt how I feel right now, she wouldn't survive 5 seconds. Being the bigger person is not nearly as satisfying as the revenge fantasies, but Maybe I'm growing up... Or perhaps terrified of going to jail...

SG

I just wanted to wish you a Happy Holidays.

I'm sure you are spending time with your kids.

I wish you a better 2016 than you had this year.

Respectfully,

HM

Bump

So does a woman who is very much in love with her husband cheat on him? If the answer is yes can someone explain to me why they do it? I really think she loves me very much.

SpaceGhost0007

I think you have figured out the answer to your original question but I would like to elaborate.

When you first confronted your wife about your suspicions she responded that she loved only you. She was telling the truth and in her mind she was faithful in what mattered most.

The analogy I would use is someone that converted to a religion where it’s a sin to eat pork. They know that they agreed not to. They know it would hurt and disappoint people if they were caught. But on a gut level they see nothing wrong with it. If they enjoy a little bacon and no one finds out they don’t feel guilty at all. That’s why she was able to act so normal with you. No guilt.

She knew 100% what she was thinking. She didn’t love the OM and planned no future with him. I’m not making excuses for her but then a perfect storm hit. You were away a week at a time and the kids were gone. She already knew the OM and was comfortable with him. Plus he was safe because he valued his marriage just as much as she did hers. Also he seemed to know what he was doing by suggesting a burner phone. The entire key was that she was never going to be caught.

Knowing women part of the adventure was telling her friend all about the nice places he took her. Her friend enjoyed living vicariously through your wife.

Now she can’t believe that she sacrificed everything over something she described as “fun.” (i.e. “It’s not fun anymore”). To make matters even worse the “fun” was marginal at best because she ended it at the drop of a hat when she first learned that you were suspicions.

Again, the entire key was that she was never going to be caught. If a product is free it doesn't have to be all that great for you to try it out. Once the price went up from zero your wife was out of there.

That’s why she said that you have to forgive her. It’s just not right for her to lose everything over something that was essentially a hobby she liked discussing with her friend.

What’s most irritating to me is that she not only looked forward to growing old with you but also with the fond memories of her extravagant dates.

[This message edited by Graywolf at 8:23 AM, January 6th (Wednesday)]

Wow! That is all.....

Wish I was this strong. Sigh.

good bump Prickle.

Interesting analysis Graywolf. You are right in some areas but knowing his past and his moral values, that is like me playing with a molotov cocktail and hoping not to get burned.

She cake ate. She tried doing something to him that she wouldn't endure herself. She lost a great man and a great life.

That's why we all point to this thread as an iconic one.

It all goes back to one of my old sayings "She had to determine if the fucking she got was really worth the fucking she was going to get". She failed because she she grew morally corrupt and ethically challenged. Purely pathetic.

SG could have ended up like some of those here who fumble around for years. he chose not to. Kudos to him. Now she is disgraced even by her kids. It's a lesson to be learned by waywards.

BTW Graywolf, I am not aiming this at you. Not at all. Your thought process was coming from her mind and you may very well be 100% correct. It was just my observations regarding her brokenness. I think we would both agree on all points by both of us

[This message edited by Western at 8:46 PM, January 5th (Tuesday)]

Thanks for the bump. This is a great thread for the new BS.