Newest Member: girlangry89

Just Found Out :
Boundaries and Consequences 101 for all new BS

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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 4:01 PM on Monday, September 24th, 2018

and again

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26010   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8253010
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minusone ( Member #50175) posted at 12:20 PM on Wednesday, October 24th, 2018

Bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8353   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8272563
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BearlyBreathing ( Member #55075) posted at 1:41 AM on Saturday, November 3rd, 2018

Bump

Me: BS 54 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64D-Day 8/15/2016 LTAKinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 4211   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8277863
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whatisloveanyway ( Member #66450) posted at 8:11 PM on Tuesday, November 6th, 2018

Where was this post when I needed it? There should be a thread called BS starter pack, with this at the top.

If only there were tags or search bars I might have been able to find this sooner and spare myself eight more months of pain and suffering before I wised up and got very specific about negotiating the new rules of engagement.

Thanks for this thread.

BW: 61 WH: 61 Both 57 on Dday. M: 34 years, 2 grown kids, 9 year Affair with MOW, 7 month False Recovery, year + trickle truth. I got rid of her. Reconciling, but the lies have piled up. Trying one more time.
Sorry for the sticky shift key and typos.

posts: 257   ·   registered: Oct. 9th, 2018   ·   location: Southeastern USA
id 8280447
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Carissima ( Member #66330) posted at 8:24 AM on Saturday, November 24th, 2018

Bump

posts: 939   ·   registered: Sep. 29th, 2018
id 8288705
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heartbroken_kk ( Member #22722) posted at 9:12 PM on Friday, December 21st, 2018

bump

FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.

posts: 2540   ·   registered: Feb. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: California
id 8302773
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Skan ( Member #35812) posted at 5:35 PM on Saturday, January 5th, 2019

bump

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012


posts: 11513   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2012   ·   location: So California
id 8309338
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Edie ( Member #26133) posted at 8:28 AM on Sunday, February 3rd, 2019

Bump

Maybe a long walk in the Hindu Kush would do it?
BW (me) 52
FWS 55
Together 29 years; 2 kids 15 & 12
Dday Dec 08 (confessed) R'd.

posts: 6384   ·   registered: Nov. 9th, 2009   ·   location: Europe
id 8323438
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 4:35 PM on Saturday, February 16th, 2019

bump

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26010   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8330528
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 3:36 PM on Tuesday, March 5th, 2019

bump

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26010   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8339641
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heartbroken_kk ( Member #22722) posted at 2:26 AM on Sunday, April 28th, 2019

bump

FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.

posts: 2540   ·   registered: Feb. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: California
id 8369536
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minusone ( Member #50175) posted at 1:52 AM on Sunday, May 19th, 2019

bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8353   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8380231
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BearlyBreathing ( Member #55075) posted at 8:40 PM on Saturday, June 1st, 2019

Bump

Me: BS 54 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64D-Day 8/15/2016 LTAKinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 4211   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8386525
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Chrysalis123 ( Guide #27148) posted at 11:20 AM on Thursday, June 27th, 2019

Bump

Someone I once loved gave me/ a box full of darkness/ It took me years to understand/ That this, too, was a gift. - Mary Oliver

Just for the record darling, not all positive changes feel positive in the beginning -S C Lourie

posts: 6709   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2010
id 8398206
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minusone ( Member #50175) posted at 1:59 PM on Saturday, July 6th, 2019

bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8353   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8402194
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minusone ( Member #50175) posted at 5:21 PM on Monday, August 19th, 2019

Bump

"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou

posts: 8353   ·   registered: Nov. 2nd, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8423258
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Thrownaway29 ( Member #71233) posted at 4:01 AM on Sunday, September 1st, 2019

Thank you very much for this information!!

Married 1995DDY 1 EA lasted a few years I knew the whole time a swept it under the rug.DD2 July 11, 2019Trying to R but tired of the lies.DD3 8/31/20 Didn't get over the anger/ hurt fast enough for him so he decided to go back to her. Divorce finalized J

posts: 83   ·   registered: Aug. 12th, 2019   ·   location: OH
id 8430321
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 5:43 PM on Tuesday, September 24th, 2019

bump

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26010   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8442169
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BearlyBreathing ( Member #55075) posted at 4:18 AM on Friday, September 27th, 2019

Bump

Me: BS 54 (49 on d-day)Him: WH. 64D-Day 8/15/2016 LTAKinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 4211   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8443610
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 11:31 PM on Wednesday, October 23rd, 2019

bump

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26010   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8456934
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