Newest Member: girlangry89

Just Found Out :
Boundaries and Consequences 101 for all new BS

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thisissogross ( Member #30294) posted at 5:31 AM on Friday, January 18th, 2013



i edit frequently because i have to

posts: 364   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2010   ·   location: southern us
id 6181482
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Rella ( Member #21136) posted at 5:44 PM on Saturday, January 19th, 2013

BUMP!

Eleven years later, I never could have imagined how much happier my life has turned out!

posts: 2208   ·   registered: Oct. 4th, 2008   ·   location: New England
id 6183429
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5454real ( Member #37455) posted at 5:46 AM on Monday, January 21st, 2013

bump

BH 53, WW 45
DS 25(Mine),SD 24,SS 23(Hers),DS 12 Ours, DGS 6, DGD 2
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 13yrs
“I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone.”
― Sophocles, Antigone

posts: 5668   ·   registered: Nov. 12th, 2012   ·   location: midwest
id 6185135
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 lordhasaplan? (original poster Member #30079) posted at 7:08 PM on Wednesday, January 30th, 2013

Bumpin' for newbies

BS- Me (45)
D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
Currently in R.
Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.

posts: 2104   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2010
id 6198039
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 lordhasaplan? (original poster Member #30079) posted at 9:43 PM on Wednesday, February 13th, 2013

newbees!

BS- Me (45)
D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
Currently in R.
Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.

posts: 2104   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2010
id 6219143
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 lordhasaplan? (original poster Member #30079) posted at 3:24 PM on Friday, March 1st, 2013

Weekend Bumps for Newbies

BS- Me (45)
D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
Currently in R.
Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.

posts: 2104   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2010
id 6240103
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Jpapageorge ( Member #31800) posted at 1:28 AM on Sunday, March 10th, 2013

Bump

"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF

posts: 2016   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6251102
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Rella ( Member #21136) posted at 10:53 PM on Sunday, March 10th, 2013

Bump

Eleven years later, I never could have imagined how much happier my life has turned out!

posts: 2208   ·   registered: Oct. 4th, 2008   ·   location: New England
id 6251920
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thisissogross ( Member #30294) posted at 8:57 AM on Friday, March 15th, 2013



i edit frequently because i have to

posts: 364   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2010   ·   location: southern us
id 6258584
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kernel ( Member #27035) posted at 2:56 AM on Thursday, March 21st, 2013

bump

"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

posts: 5379   ·   registered: Jan. 3rd, 2010   ·   location: Midwest
id 6266241
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jackie89 ( Member #38271) posted at 5:53 AM on Thursday, March 21st, 2013

A great post. LOVE it, can still be applied!

Another reminder on how I wished I had found this site, when I was in denial/shock at the very beginning! My 1yr of hell TT, that I wasted!

I never looked up the word "infidelity" was always looking up "betrayed"

Thank You

posts: 869   ·   registered: Jan. 27th, 2013   ·   location: SE PA
id 6266434
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Ashland13 ( Member #38378) posted at 2:27 PM on Thursday, March 21st, 2013

Family and friends on boths sides of our M knew about the A and did not tell me.

So, I don't consider them friends of our M.

One, to this day, continues to let WH spend overnights at her house and he told me during false R, "I chose her cause she lets me do what I want". She is also someone who thinks so differently than me that I can't consider being "friends" right now, never mind later.

WH does not understand this, but its not a surprise.

A few boundaries that I put out that I don't see on the list atop this thread:

-NC with me from OW's house where he has lived for a year;

-NC to OW if he has to come to "our" house;

-no trading resources between OW's family and "our" house; yes, he realy thought this was ok.

-limited texting/electronics when WH visits with DD, shouldn't time be one-on-one with her?

Ashland 13

A person is a person, no matter how small. -Dr. Suess

Perserverance and spirit have done wonders in all ages.

-George Washington

posts: 3034   ·   registered: Feb. 7th, 2013   ·   location: New England
id 6266678
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 lordhasaplan? (original poster Member #30079) posted at 3:06 PM on Monday, April 29th, 2013

Bump

BS- Me (45)
D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
Currently in R.
Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.

posts: 2104   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2010
id 6316218
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 lordhasaplan? (original poster Member #30079) posted at 2:06 PM on Thursday, May 16th, 2013

For ((Calikid))

BS- Me (45)
D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
Currently in R.
Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.

posts: 2104   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2010
id 6337781
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AFrayedKnot ( Member #36622) posted at 1:07 AM on Tuesday, May 28th, 2013

Bump

BS 42
fWS 38 (SurprisinglyOkay)
DsD DS
A whole bunch of shit that got a lot worse before it got better.
"Knowing is half the battle"

posts: 2859   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2012
id 6351335
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 lordhasaplan? (original poster Member #30079) posted at 4:35 PM on Wednesday, June 5th, 2013

Bump

BS- Me (45)
D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10).
Currently in R.
Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.

posts: 2104   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2010
id 6362312
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jjct ( Member #17484) posted at 12:33 PM on Tuesday, June 18th, 2013

bemp

posts: 7269   ·   registered: Dec. 24th, 2007   ·   location: texas
id 6377983
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Jennifer99 ( Member #39551) posted at 3:17 PM on Thursday, June 20th, 2013

I think the key here is "detach".

I do, then I get all happy when its working, we get close, he gets stupid again.

I'm thinking my next boundary just may be that there is a limit to the number of times I'll through this cycle with him.

When I say he gets stupid again I don't mean he cheats again its all the other stuff - mean with words, impatient, treating me like the enemy - what we were even BEFORE the EA.

posts: 557   ·   registered: Jun. 14th, 2013
id 6381015
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Skan ( Member #35812) posted at 3:19 PM on Wednesday, June 26th, 2013

bump

Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012


posts: 11513   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2012   ·   location: So California
id 6387807
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Jpapageorge ( Member #31800) posted at 9:18 AM on Thursday, July 4th, 2013

Bump

"Either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." (and I prefer to live)
"Shame on me for kissing you with my eyes closed."
Spectemur agendo.
Me: FBBF

posts: 2016   ·   registered: Apr. 8th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 6396990
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