Yesterday I told her I loved her and I expressed my feelings for her. She seemed nervous and just quickly changed the subject. Maybe she doesn't love me anymore.
I've struggled with responding to this. I've left it alone for a long while but I just can't.
Listen, you need to get it together man. YOUR feelings right now are not important. They truly aren't.
As a woman and a victim of sexual assault I can only imagine what this woman has been through. Can you even begin to conceive of the sheer force of will it took her to leave you after your betrayal, only to get raped, find out she is pregnant and go through with that pregnancy? I would bet my last dollar that she summoned all her mortal strength to put one foot in front of the other to bring that baby into the world. While she worked and cared for your son. She very likely did not allow herself to think very much on the babies DNA. She did only what she could do: survive for her children.
It took amazing strength. It was, in the end, an act of love for her children.
Now you come along and declare your love for her? You, with hope in your heart, lay that at her feet? She has been betrayed by you and then brutally assaulted by a stalker. And you come to her with your needs? Your near obsession with her? Do you think maybe that level of needing her, wanting her and damn near obsessed with her might not trigger some pretty deep feelings/fears in her? Of course she got nervous and bailed. She does not need to hear, support or otherwise be moved by someone else's needs right now.
What she needs is a strong man / co-parent / friend who supports her in anyway SHE NEEDS. Hell, she might not even want that especially if comes with strings that include listening to what you want or hope. Your role here is to support the mother of your child(ren) and be man enough to do that without want or desire. Man enough to be strong and selfless.
You dna tested that child without her permission. While I understand there are legit legal and practical reasons to address this, you went behind her back and made a unilateral decision without her consent. Do you honestly think she, a victim of intimate betrayal and rape deserves that? There were absolutely other ways to handle this that did not involve yet again, someone going behind her back and stealing her agency. Bigger laid them out for you.
Get to therapy and get a handle on your near obsession with "winning" this person back. She divorced you. She's made her desires clear. Now be a person she can rely on to help her raise the children.