Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: Tortex

Reconciliation :
OW shenanigans again

default

TheEnd ( member #72213) posted at 3:59 PM on Friday, June 17th, 2022

Your posts remind me of a person I know (not the AP). It's a lesser degree I guess b/c this person doesn't sleep with other people's husbands but she is pretty self centered. Not mean, but so focused on herself and largely oblivious to other people. She's super charming as well and I guess that's why she gets away with some selfish behavior.

She cannot stand to be called out on ANYTHING. If you do, she may eventually concede some minor point but she will come back, over and over if she has to, to get you to change your mind and admit she is awesome. In other words, her apology means "we will discuss this again until you take it back."

If she thinks you are angry with her, she will get pushy to the point of intrusive with texts and calls. And if you tell her why you're upset, well back to point one: she'll spend forever trying to convince you are wrong.

Reading about your Tri-whore sounds similar. She literally cannot handle being seen as anything less than perfect. She is pushing your boundaries until you concede that she is cool. At a minimum, when she pushes and you don't reaffirm the boundary, she considers it a victory. I don't think she will stop tho until you treat her as a friend and confirm her belief that she is awesome.

I hate her on your behalf.

posts: 200   ·   registered: Dec. 3rd, 2019
id 8740684
default

The1stWife ( member #58832) posted at 4:29 PM on Friday, June 17th, 2022

I’d make a comment to her current BF.

That would be the last time she would sit near me.

Or come within a mile if me lol

[This message edited by The1stWife at 6:04 PM, Friday, June 17th]

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 12289   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8740701
default

Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 4:49 PM on Friday, June 17th, 2022

Wow the best thing for her is for it not to bother you. Come here and vent but hold your head high, you are not in competition with her, she is nothing, she is trying to compete with you and you don’t even notice.

We have a young neighbor that had a GF living with him. He caught her cheating and told her to leave, she freaked out on him and busted the windows out of his truck. She then made a DV report with police and he agreed not to press charges if she would just leave him alone. She then got a NC order on him and has been driving by several times a week. She even came to the community pool with new guy, she has the code. She was kicked out and asked not to return.

The girl cannot stand it that she no longer consumes head space in our friend. She is dragging this new guy around with probably no idea what she’s up to.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH 55 WW 48 M 31 years, 4 kids 2 grown 2 grandkids

posts: 1629   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8740715
default

sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 5:02 PM on Friday, June 17th, 2022

Did you mean to say that you actually competed in a world championship? Wow.

If that goes to far in threatening your anonymity, please ignore the question, but ... competing in a world championship? Wow. smile

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 27413   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8740719
default

 Ladybugmaam (original poster member #69881) posted at 5:39 PM on Friday, June 17th, 2022

Yes on the World Championship….but mostly because I’m a middle aged woman. And, most woman my age are smart enough not to do this…lol. She HAD been my mentor. Every time I go a little faster than her, and she’s 15 yrs younger, I get a feeling of glee…:but I’m petty that way.

Woke up this morning fantasizing about telling the BF if they do it again….and just asking her what her f-ing problem might be.

Thanks for the support guys.

EA DD 11/2018
PA DD 2/25/19
One teen son
I am a phoenix.

posts: 254   ·   registered: Feb. 26th, 2019
id 8740731
default

fareast ( Guide #61555) posted at 8:05 PM on Friday, June 17th, 2022

“Fareast......I actually received an emailed apology 9-10 months post DDay from her where she said roughly that....but wanted to be sure that I knew that H started it....and that she should have been the bigger person and not succumbed to his advances. Utter Bull$hit!”

Yes, you are absolutely correct, it is utter bullshit in my view. I hate to shatter your WH’s self image, and he is still responsible for his terrible decisions, but the OW did not pursue him, she pursued his “type”. There was nothing special about him, except he is a triathlete, and that was all she cared about. Think about it. Look at her pattern. She pursues triathletes. Triathletes fit her profile of someone worthy of pursuing. She considers herself to be this amazing high achiever, successful physician, and hard charging competitive athlete. She can’t settle for any good, faithful partner. The only persons she deems worthy of pursuing are similarly focused individuals competing in a very demanding endurance sport. If they happen to be married, well she would never let that stand in the way of pursuing what SHE wants! Totally self absorbed and entitled.

You mentioned she had a recent surgery. Let me guess: she obsesses about her training and pushes the boundaries her body can stand, and suffers overuse injuries as a result. Her body will self destruct eventually. I know the type. I was a serious long distance runner my whole life. Good luck. You are doing fine.

Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.

posts: 3208   ·   registered: Nov. 24th, 2017
id 8740754
default

 Ladybugmaam (original poster member #69881) posted at 5:14 PM on Saturday, June 18th, 2022

She considers herself to be this amazing high achiever, successful physician, and hard charging competitive athlete. She can’t settle for any good, faithful partner. The only persons she deems worthy of pursuing are similarly focused individuals competing in a very demanding endurance sport. If they happen to be married, well she would never let that stand in the way of pursuing what SHE wants! Totally self absorbed and entitled.


Fareast.......You've pegged her. OBS shared with me the evidence he had gathered in the form of notes she wrote my FWH.....where she basically details this and complains about her husband.


In a weird twist of fate......I've just tested positive for covid. Moral dilemma.......do I tell them? I mean, she's in medicine.....she probably gets exposed on the daily at work. Maybe karma??

EA DD 11/2018
PA DD 2/25/19
One teen son
I am a phoenix.

posts: 254   ·   registered: Feb. 26th, 2019
id 8740841
default

ChamomileTea ( Guide #53574) posted at 6:25 PM on Saturday, June 18th, 2022

Maybe she exposed you and not the other way around?

BW: 2004(online EAs), 2014 (multiple PAs)Married 38 years; in R with fWH for 7

No one can make you into a liar but you.

posts: 5742   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
id 8740846
default

 Ladybugmaam (original poster member #69881) posted at 6:57 PM on Saturday, June 18th, 2022

Naw.....I think I know when/how/who I was exposed. Several people I know came down with it after some local events last weekend.

EA DD 11/2018
PA DD 2/25/19
One teen son
I am a phoenix.

posts: 254   ·   registered: Feb. 26th, 2019
id 8740853
default

ChamomileTea ( Guide #53574) posted at 7:31 PM on Saturday, June 18th, 2022

Well, I hope you get better quickly in any event. smile I had omicron back in January, and while highly unpleasant, it didn't get down into my lungs so I exceedingly thankful for that. Hopefully, yours will be a mild case.

BW: 2004(online EAs), 2014 (multiple PAs)Married 38 years; in R with fWH for 7

No one can make you into a liar but you.

posts: 5742   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
id 8740860
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20220808a 2002-2022 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy