BARCHER!!!! There's a name I remember!!!
I've gray rocked him for the past almost 5 years. He doesn't get a single detail about my life.
He calls/texts to get ego strokes. He calls/texts to get reassurance that he's still relevant. He tells me about HIS life, he doesn't ask about mine but then he didn't do that when we were together either so nothing is really changed on that front. I'm not qualified to dx him as a clinical narcissist, but I have a lot of theories LOL.
We were deeply enmeshed and codependent. I was also financially dependent on him. Therefore I allowed this sick contact and gave him the ego strokes he sought, because to do so was the price I paid to ensure that the money kept coming, that he didn't divorce me, that I didn't lose my medical insurance, etc etc.
Well. I've let all that go now. And because I no longer need to manipulate him (or anyone) to get my financial needs met (because I'm perfectly able to support myself), this means I can be free, to speak freely to him, and this is what that looks him.
Him: Our benefits, our yadda yadda, us us us, until the divorce is final, etc etc (much ado about nothing)
Me: 90 days, brotha. And then I am done with your cheating ass!
Him: (nervous titter) oh, well I have no animosity towards you...
Me: Oh what a relief, that's good to know. That was keeping me up at nights, worrying that you might have ANIMOSITY towards me after you cheated on me.
Also me: Gotta go, bye!
A text is like this. He texts me details of his life which I have told him repeatedly that he needs to STOP USING ME FOR PSEUDO COMPANIONSHIP AND TELL IT TO THE AP (yes I was that direct and used those exact words). It has tapered off somewhat but I don't think it will end fully until I block him.
Him: Someone hit my new car in the parking lot and left without leaving a note!
Me (without a trace of irony): How terrible that there are people in this world who do the wrong thing and don't seem to care about the pain they cause others :)