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Divorce/Separation :
What Did You Do On The Day Your Divorce Became Final?

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 freetogonow (original poster member #57821) posted at 5:36 AM on Wednesday, September 15th, 2021

I wanted to do something to celebrate besides go out for drinks with my friends.

I spent a lifetime being deeply enmeshed and codependent with him and part of the healing has been learning to do things for myself. Not running to others to do things for me, that I should be doing for myself, and playing poor helpless baby/damsel in distress so as to lure men to my web LOL.

Anyway. I am going to an island and going camping!!!! OMG!! ALONE!!!! SOLO!!!! YES!!!

I am going to pitch my tent, go to sleep that night a married woman, and wake up that morning unfettered and FREE.

And I'm not even telling anyone that I'm going except my adult kids.

I'm going to have a daily itinerary (on this day I'll be on this trail, on that day I'll be on that trail, etc) which I will not deviate from. I'll have a daily check-in with my kids and call the rangers if I miss a check-in by more than an hour, right?

It is going to be sublime, epic, and all the good words.

So. What did you do?? Tell me.

posts: 1738   ·   registered: Mar. 13th, 2017
id 8688563
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WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 6:28 PM on Wednesday, September 15th, 2021

Well I don't know when my divorce will be final. Trial is the end of this month. But I have seven camping trips booked this winter already. Two with my kids, and 5 solo. I anticipate lots of hiking with my dogs.

FTGN, you are a girl after my own heart!!

Please let us all know how it goes! It will be super empowering for you, and head clearing...

I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural

posts: 4371   ·   registered: Sep. 6th, 2015   ·   location: USA
id 8688621
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J707 ( member #63778) posted at 12:34 AM on Thursday, September 16th, 2021

I was solo camping on the coast and redwoods for 2 days. On my way back down the coast, I stopped at my favorite beach, played my guitar and just staired and thought my thoughts. I ended up throwing my wedding ring into the ocean.

When I returned home that day I checked the mail and there it was. Divorce was finalized (a few days prior). So I unpacked my gear, got a bottle of champagne and celebrated by myself! It was liberating!

Side note: 7-11 was my divorce date. It's free slurpee day so I enjoy that cold beverage even more now!

posts: 1104   ·   registered: May. 14th, 2018   ·   location: Ca
id 8688677
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Charity411 ( member #41033) posted at 8:21 PM on Thursday, September 16th, 2021

I was working for a new boutique hotel that was opening as their Asst. Genl. Manager. We were days away from opening and there was still a ton of stuff that wasn't ready. I got to work at 5am that day, worked for two hours, changed clothes, went to my final divorce hearing, and then went back to work.

Into the night there were electricians and construction guys everywhere in the lobby. At 11pm I was unpacking boxes of linens and pillows in the lobby and one of the workers asked me what I did that day. I told him I got divorced. About a half hour later, I came back down to the lobby for more stuff and the whole crew was there with a case of champagne. They all made a toast to my freedom. smile

posts: 1537   ·   registered: Oct. 18th, 2013   ·   location: Illinois
id 8688814
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scaredwoman ( member #78680) posted at 11:13 PM on Thursday, September 16th, 2021

I cried when I filed, and cried when the final papers with the judgement day came in the mail. Never looked back after that!

posts: 172   ·   registered: Apr. 20th, 2021
id 8688861
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Blandy ( member #79252) posted at 11:18 PM on Thursday, September 16th, 2021

I met my buddies for a round of golf, and promptly shot a 107 :( At the time I was usually in the high 80s.

posts: 81   ·   registered: Aug. 8th, 2021   ·   location: TX
id 8688862
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gemini12 ( new member #78670) posted at 12:22 AM on Friday, September 17th, 2021

Mine came in the mail during a weekday which meant going to work the next day. I didn't realize I was whistling until a coworker asked me why I was in such a good mood. grin

posts: 49   ·   registered: Apr. 18th, 2021
id 8688873
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PlanNine ( member #46311) posted at 6:05 PM on Friday, September 17th, 2021

I don't remember. I had waived my right to be present at the hearing, because it was just a rubber-stamp kinda thing and not worth the hassle of going downtown. I had forgotten about it until I received notice in the mail a few days later...wasn't even sure why the court was mailing me anything. So when I opened it up I was like, "Oh. That."

"I was also thinking, 'Maybe I'm not a bike racer.' I doubted myself for a while, but now I'm back on track. I may not be a bike racer, but I can beat plenty of them that reckon they are." - Guy Martin

posts: 455   ·   registered: Jan. 12th, 2015   ·   location: Florida
id 8689058
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nothisfriend ( member #53171) posted at 7:12 PM on Friday, September 17th, 2021

My LOVELY co-workers got me a cake and everyone in the building came down and shared it with me. The solidarity meant all the world to me.

Had to sell my camper but kept all the camping gear - tent, etc and booked a tent site for my birthday at my campground which was like a second home to me. Then, I met my new love at the campground and even though he had a perfectly good camper we spent my birthday night, in a tent, on my site, to celebrate my independence. Our little community watched our meeting and courtship and 5 years later are still commenting about how cute we are. And we are blush

ETA: I just looked at my signature line and realized that the anniversary of the final D was this week. Did not even realize that!

[This message edited by nothisfriend at 7:14 PM, Friday, September 17th]

Me: BS 50 (at the time)
Him: WH 53 (at the time)
D-Day: 10/25/15
Married: 5/14/1988
One son, age 18 (at the time)
D final 9/13/16

posts: 1258   ·   registered: May. 11th, 2016   ·   location: Illinois
id 8689067
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thatbpguy ( member #58540) posted at 3:20 AM on Saturday, September 18th, 2021

Side note: 7-11 was my divorce date. It's free slurpee day so I enjoy that cold beverage even more now!

Something just seems wrong here..... grin

ME: BH Her: WW DDay 1, R; DDay 2, R; DDay 3, I left; Divorced Remarried to a wonderful woman

"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." C.S. Lewis

As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly...

posts: 4458   ·   registered: May. 2nd, 2017   ·   location: Vancouver, WA
id 8689126
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thatbpguy ( member #58540) posted at 3:21 AM on Saturday, September 18th, 2021

I was working for a new boutique hotel that was opening as their Asst. Genl. Manager. We were days away from opening and there was still a ton of stuff that wasn't ready. I got to work at 5am that day, worked for two hours, changed clothes, went to my final divorce hearing, and then went back to work.

Into the night there were electricians and construction guys everywhere in the lobby. At 11pm I was unpacking boxes of linens and pillows in the lobby and one of the workers asked me what I did that day. I told him I got divorced. About a half hour later, I came back down to the lobby for more stuff and the whole crew was there with a case of champagne. They all made a toast to my freedom.

wink

Perfect

ME: BH Her: WW DDay 1, R; DDay 2, R; DDay 3, I left; Divorced Remarried to a wonderful woman

"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." C.S. Lewis

As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly...

posts: 4458   ·   registered: May. 2nd, 2017   ·   location: Vancouver, WA
id 8689127
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thatbpguy ( member #58540) posted at 3:24 AM on Saturday, September 18th, 2021

I live in Oregon. I went to the beach, was able to get a yurt and just had a great time. Built fires, listened to my short wave, ate at my fav Newport restaurant, walked the beaches... It was wonderful.

ME: BH Her: WW DDay 1, R; DDay 2, R; DDay 3, I left; Divorced Remarried to a wonderful woman

"There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." C.S. Lewis

As a dog returns to his vomit, so a fool repeats his folly...

posts: 4458   ·   registered: May. 2nd, 2017   ·   location: Vancouver, WA
id 8689128
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lieshurt ( Moderator #14003) posted at 3:20 PM on Monday, September 20th, 2021

My divorce was final within a couple of days of my birthday, so I had a celebratory weekend with a few of my friends. We went to San Antonio and had a blast. grin

No one changes unless they want to. Not if you beg them. Not if you shame them. Not if you use reason, emotion, or tough love. There is only one thing that makes someone change: their own realization that they need to.

posts: 22332   ·   registered: Mar. 20th, 2007   ·   location: Houston
id 8689361
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