Newest Member: Chickenhawk

I Can Relate :
Betrayed Menz Thread-Part 33

Topic is Sleeping.
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wincing_at_light ( member #14393) posted at 2:32 AM on Friday, December 21st, 2018

I was "randomly", once again, for the God knows how many-eth time, selected for a complimentary bag un-packing and cavity probe at the airport.

And my co-workers wonder why I'd rather rent a car and drive to conferences than fly...

You can't beat the Axis if you get VD

posts: 7084   ·   registered: Apr. 27th, 2007   ·   location: Indiana
id 8302227
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ChangeMaker ( member #43899) posted at 7:34 PM on Friday, December 21st, 2018

Howdy to all you boys that have been here a while and remember me, and to you fellas that are newer and do not...

Just popped in to wish you all the best, and assure you again that it all gets better - even fully back to normal - with time.

I have to grab an enchilada and get back to the nudie bar before the kegs freeze through.

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

DDay - June 2014
DD 2008 & 2011
Divorced April 1, 2015

posts: 2331   ·   registered: Jun. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Ontario
id 8302687
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64fleet ( member #18710) posted at 7:52 PM on Friday, December 21st, 2018

Merry Christmas gents.

You guys past 50, I have this insane desire to hop in the truck and disappear. Start over somewhere else, maybe even take up truck driving, I could live in the truck like a nomad, & see the country. Walk away from it all, and not look back.

I cant tell if it is simply turning 50 or this affair bullshit.

Anyone else experience somethng similar? Am I just wantng to run away?

Logically it makes no sense to walk away from all my possessions but none of that seems to matter at times.

I think I made a huge mistake getting married and staying in the marriage after the A- It just doesnt go away. I wonder how life could or could have been different.

time wounds all heels

posts: 5538   ·   registered: Mar. 19th, 2008   ·   location: deliverance land
id 8302705
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numb&dumb ( Guide #28542) posted at 7:55 PM on Friday, December 21st, 2018

And my co-workers wonder why I'd rather rent a car and drive to conferences than fly...

Yeah, does anyone remember when airlines acted like they actually wanted your business ? Instead of the random fees, lack of customer service and literally beating you up ?

I will literally spend two days driving to avoid dealing with the airlines.

Dday 8/31/11. EA/PA. Lied to for 3 years.

Bring it, life. I am ready for you.

posts: 4979   ·   registered: May. 17th, 2010
id 8302710
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DomesticTourist ( member #67648) posted at 8:17 PM on Friday, December 21st, 2018

I have this insane desire to hop in the truck and disappear. Start over somewhere else, maybe even take up truck driving, I could live in the truck like a nomad, & see the country. Walk away from it all, and not look back.

You are not insane, or at least not alone.

I'm 51 and there are moments that I would burn it all down just to start over.

Emotions are like children: you can’t put them in the trunk, but you can’t let them drive, either.

posts: 187   ·   registered: Oct. 29th, 2018
id 8302725
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tbkjcn ( member #44744) posted at 8:32 PM on Friday, December 21st, 2018

Hope things go better for you

Oh, it wasn't really that bad. Yeah I had a bad cold for half the week, and I need to replace at least $500 in broken gear, but it was warm, sunny, warm and not cold for a week. Now I am cold again.

Anyone else experience somethng similar?

Ha, I'm currently sitting on a pile of paperwork to apply for a residence permit in a European country wondering if I am going to take it to the consulate or not.

Me: BH 49 (then)
Her: WW 48 (then)
D-Day 8-30-14 3 yr LTA and 1 ONS (9-1-14 the rest of the story, she can't remember how many men)
Divorce filed 1/14/15, final 4/7/15
Married 23 years together 28

posts: 662   ·   registered: Sep. 3rd, 2014   ·   location: IL
id 8302734
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64fleet ( member #18710) posted at 10:35 PM on Friday, December 21st, 2018

Ok so at least I am not alone. I dont have much but have some cash with which I could do something. Maybe just a state away or something. My Dad is overseas.....

time wounds all heels

posts: 5538   ·   registered: Mar. 19th, 2008   ·   location: deliverance land
id 8302825
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steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 11:52 PM on Friday, December 21st, 2018

You're not alone, 64fleet. Every once in a long while I get this fleeting thought of going nomad. Long distance truck driving, maybe. I'm 67. But then I think I've got this ranch and cows and 8, soon to be 9, grandchildren and my daughters and SILs and my brothers and sisters and the thought fades away. But I do think it once in a while.

BH(me)70; XWW 64; M 42 yrs
DDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14
LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW
"dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, lies
Separated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020

posts: 4679   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 8302866
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 4:43 PM on Sunday, December 23rd, 2018

The trouble with OTR trucking is that you need to make deliveries and pickups to make the idea work, and you have to deal with deadlines.

The trucking companies and their clients just want their stuff delivered.

They don't give drivers time to see the sights.

Time for a new fantasy: lottery jackpots, perhaps....

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26163   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8303455
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Cephastion ( member #51990) posted at 6:39 PM on Sunday, December 23rd, 2018

Dang it Sisoon, stop it with the practicality already.

We're all just fantasizing here.

Besides, OTR trucking isn't like that up in Canada!

There aren't any sights to see, so you don't feel like you're missing out on anything.

It's just one great big open sea of land. It's like sailing only with less exotic "ports" and no Godzillas or perfect storms or cool pirate culture to scare the weenies away.

[This message edited by Cephastion at 12:41 PM, December 23rd (Sunday)]

BH-me / WW-(Pyrite)
Left Thanksgiving 2019 w/ unresolved childhood trauma and other general selfishness issues that she refuses to honestly address, resolve,& heal from.--"For where your wealth/treasure is, there will your heart be also."--Yeshua

posts: 2323   ·   registered: Feb. 25th, 2016
id 8303501
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steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 1:43 PM on Monday, December 24th, 2018

Yeah, Sisoon,

stop it with the practicality already

. Those thoughts have no place in a fantasy. I actually got trucking out of my system over 4.5 decades ago. And you're right Sisoon, long distance truckers have deadlines, are making a living and are away from home. The nomadic life, on which the fantasy is based, is a mirage. Nonetheless, fantasy away. I don't buy lottery so it'll have to be something different.

Now Ceph you know we have lots of sights in Canada. We have polar bears and Canada Geese in the summer (July 13th, most years) and the West Edmonton Mall. So there.

BH(me)70; XWW 64; M 42 yrs
DDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14
LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW
"dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, lies
Separated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020

posts: 4679   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 8303772
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Cephastion ( member #51990) posted at 4:39 PM on Monday, December 24th, 2018

Now Ceph you know we have lots of sights in Canada. We have polar bears and Canada Geese in the summer (July 13th, most years) and the West Edmonton Mall. So there.

Well then!

Damn those deadlines! And Damn the torpedoes! I'm on my bloody, blooming way!

Look out, Slim! This "now-former" Texan is coming to the West Freaking Edmonton Mall, come hell or high water! YEEEEEEEE-HAAAAAAAWWWWWWW!

John Candy/”Slim" Hitches A Ride

https://youtu.be/HiylZS3ZaT4

(Speaking of somewhat arguably impractical, OTR trucking fantasies in Canadaland...

...btw, John Candy was Canadian so maybe we should just change the name of this fictitious country to Candyland to keep from hurting any Eskimos' feelings...)

But just to keep it real here, this one's for Sisoon, so he knows I'm not just fantasizing warm fuzzies about going Christmas shopping or going OTR ice trucking/sight-seeing in Canada...

(I just cannot for the life of me tell which one of those three or four things he's doing here, because it all just looks the same...)

[This message edited by Cephastion at 12:14 PM, December 24th (Monday)]

BH-me / WW-(Pyrite)
Left Thanksgiving 2019 w/ unresolved childhood trauma and other general selfishness issues that she refuses to honestly address, resolve,& heal from.--"For where your wealth/treasure is, there will your heart be also."--Yeshua

posts: 2323   ·   registered: Feb. 25th, 2016
id 8303840
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Cephastion ( member #51990) posted at 5:38 PM on Monday, December 24th, 2018

Just one question, SteadyChevy...

When I get to this fabled mall you speak of,

With all the men burgeoning full of whale blubber and bacon and waffles with syrup and blood-covered, fur trimmed mucklucks and red flannel and mudboots, bundled up like they're all ready for nuclear winter... and with copious amounts of facial hair and personal "ballast" and red noses thanks to their own home breweries and legendary apathy and sedentary culture...

How am I supposed tell which one is Papa Noel (French Santa Claus)?

[This message edited by Cephastion at 11:47 AM, December 24th (Monday)]

BH-me / WW-(Pyrite)
Left Thanksgiving 2019 w/ unresolved childhood trauma and other general selfishness issues that she refuses to honestly address, resolve,& heal from.--"For where your wealth/treasure is, there will your heart be also."--Yeshua

posts: 2323   ·   registered: Feb. 25th, 2016
id 8303867
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Tred ( member #34086) posted at 6:15 PM on Monday, December 24th, 2018

Great. Now I have C.W. McCall's Convoy song stuck in my head...

Merry Christmas Menz! Hope everyone is doing as well as can be expected and the holidays are treating you fair! I'll be enjoying today with my son up at the golf club drinking whiskey and smoking cigars. Could be worse

Married: 24 years (14 @JFO)
D-Day: 11/09/11
"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)

posts: 5788   ·   registered: Dec. 2nd, 2011
id 8303879
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sisoon ( Guide #31240) posted at 8:19 PM on Monday, December 24th, 2018

Well, I did work with a guy who relocated, had a horrible experience buying first house, and bought a camper instead. We were road warriors on longer term engagements, and he and his W just moved his camper as appropriate.

They were Deadheads, too, so they got some scenery going to concerts. A happy young couple, and a great colleague, despite their strange musical taste....

Merry Christmas/Happy Christmas to all.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 26163   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8303924
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steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 8:58 PM on Monday, December 24th, 2018

It'll be the one smiling, Ceph. Got to be careful because the smile might be fake. Most won't have reindeer with them either.

BH(me)70; XWW 64; M 42 yrs
DDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14
LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW
"dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, lies
Separated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020

posts: 4679   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Canada
id 8303936
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Cephastion ( member #51990) posted at 8:58 PM on Monday, December 24th, 2018

Merry Christmas Sisoon and (edited to add: SteadyChevy!) and Menz!

Here's a little short skit my wife and I enjoyed this year...

And you wanna talk about fake smiles! Mr. Neeson really gets creepy with his fake one on here...

Liam neeson auditions for Mall Santa Claus

https://youtu.be/VqG621-drmk

[This message edited by Cephastion at 9:42 AM, December 25th (Tuesday)]

BH-me / WW-(Pyrite)
Left Thanksgiving 2019 w/ unresolved childhood trauma and other general selfishness issues that she refuses to honestly address, resolve,& heal from.--"For where your wealth/treasure is, there will your heart be also."--Yeshua

posts: 2323   ·   registered: Feb. 25th, 2016
id 8303937
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Butforthegrace ( member #63264) posted at 3:49 PM on Wednesday, December 26th, 2018

When I was a kid we had a family friend whose wife cheated on him. As part of his healing, he built a sailboat from scratch. Not just a little dinghy. This was like a 55-foot full-keel ocean-going heavy duty yacht with a ketch rig. Took him years to make it. Like 5 years plus or minus. From time to time we'd visit him and his family and look at the WIP in the back yard. He was quite skilled as a craftsman and his work was meticulous and beautiful. Teak decks. Brass. Etc.

Meanwhile, during this whole time he and his wife were basically living in-home separation. She expressed regret and apologies, but my perception was that there was no healing between them, just "staying for the kids" sort of détente.

Finally, the yacht was done. It was water-tested. I took a short sail on her. She handled as magnificently as one would expect. He spent about another year getting her tuned up and ocean-ready, then stocking her up with provisions.

The next year, early in summer, he got out of bed, went to the boat, headed out of the harbor, and never returned. She was served with D papers that day. She was utterly gobsmacked. Along with his meticulous boat building, he had also meticulously separated their finances and set up his own private accounts, etc. He had simply used the 5-6 years to get the kids through high school and plan his escape. It was brilliant.

"The wicked man flees when no one chases."

posts: 3771   ·   registered: Mar. 31st, 2018   ·   location: Midwest
id 8304485
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Cephastion ( member #51990) posted at 12:00 PM on Thursday, December 27th, 2018

It sounds like if he was gonna go looking for other fish in the sea, he didn't want to just look for an easy catch bottom feeder hauled into a used, half patched inner tube full of his own hot air, but wanted a more worthy first mate or even "first date" than that.

BH-me / WW-(Pyrite)
Left Thanksgiving 2019 w/ unresolved childhood trauma and other general selfishness issues that she refuses to honestly address, resolve,& heal from.--"For where your wealth/treasure is, there will your heart be also."--Yeshua

posts: 2323   ·   registered: Feb. 25th, 2016
id 8304854
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stolenyears ( member #65758) posted at 11:52 PM on Friday, December 28th, 2018

Merry Christmas all! So 64fleet - not sure if it is age or the situation we find ourselves in after being betrayed, but wholeheartedly yes.

I am 51, and seem to fantasize about heading down to the coast and not returning. I grew up fishing on the coast, and salt water bay fishing is something I could really get used to every day. My youngest is still in HS, so until he is gone, it is just a fantasy. No boat in current inventory, but a very detailed and often fantasized about boat may or may not be blue with a center console...

And just to add, my wife is the picture of remorse and there is really nothing more that she could be doing in recovery. She has basically had an Olympic Gold Medal award winning recovery, and I still fantasize about riding off into the sunset...

Me: BH
Her: fWW
Married: 30 years, kids 26, 23 and 16
DDay: 5-24-17, multiple APs
Current status: In Recovery

posts: 165   ·   registered: Aug. 8th, 2018
id 8305836
Topic is Sleeping.
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