shopper13 ( member #19695) posted at 9:44 PM on Tuesday, August 5th, 2008
What a great resource this is. Thanks!
wonderingbull ( member #14833) posted at 6:44 PM on Saturday, August 9th, 2008
The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...
James Taylor
oldtimer97 ( member #2365) posted at 9:36 AM on Wednesday, August 13th, 2008
“When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.”
― Maya Angelou
To save a marriage, you must be willing to lose the marriage.
AFguy ( member #19822) posted at 7:40 PM on Friday, August 15th, 2008
BS Me 36
WS Her 35 Now XW!
Together 16yrs Married 8
No kids thank God, just great dogs.
D-Day 6/25/08 8:06pm.D 7/18/08
I'm way too damn good for her. She will really, really regret this one day.
People should come with warning lables.
wonderingbull ( member #14833) posted at 7:05 PM on Saturday, August 16th, 2008
The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time...
James Taylor
burnt_toast ( member #16891) posted at 3:34 AM on Saturday, August 23rd, 2008
I may have not gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.
- Douglas Adams
cards96 ( member #14962) posted at 6:12 AM on Saturday, August 23rd, 2008
GREAT post SerJr, wish it would have been around when I was new to this rollercoaster. Only thing I would add is don't make any snap decisions, think before you act. Your actions will have an impact, positive, negative or neutral, and be prepared to deal with that.
Balancing Act ( member #19047) posted at 1:41 PM on Tuesday, August 26th, 2008
bumping for the newbies....this is good stuff!!
Me - BS....living a wonderful new beginning and giving love another chance
Tulsa Area Coffee Buddy
Balancing Act ( member #19047) posted at 11:52 AM on Friday, August 29th, 2008
Me - BS....living a wonderful new beginning and giving love another chance
Tulsa Area Coffee Buddy
futureshock ( new member #20835) posted at 7:30 PM on Friday, August 29th, 2008
Thank you SerJR, one of the best posts I have read so far. My only disconnect was with your advice on reconciliation when you said
- Avoid spending too much time together to try and force recovery.
We are in day six and it has been non-stop talking. This increased communication makes us feel we are getting closer. After reading your advice I am now conflicted as to whether we should continue this intense or maybe obsessive communication.
Me-Male BS 55 yrs old
Spouse-Female WS 48 yrs old
Happily married 16 yrs
D day-Aug 23 2008
Current status-working on R - broke NC Sept 8 2008, back on shaky ground
one male child 15 yrs old
SerJR (original poster member #14993) posted at 8:08 PM on Friday, August 29th, 2008
Hey futureshock - the key point to that statement is the word 'force'. If the communication is coming naturally and you are not uncomfortable spending that much time together then that is great and I encourage you both to keep it up! 
The key is that is that you don't want to smother each other or force things to happen at an unnatural pace and be respectful of each other's need for space and other emotional needs.
As for the primer, it presents the general action plan - adapt the tactics as necessary to fit your own situation.
Me: BH - Happily remarried.
Hope is never lost. It exists within you - it is real. It is not a force in and of itself - it is something that you create with every thought, action, and choice you make. It is a gift that you create for yourself.
futureshock ( new member #20835) posted at 8:18 PM on Friday, August 29th, 2008
That clears it up very well for me. Thank you again SerJR
Me-Male BS 55 yrs old
Spouse-Female WS 48 yrs old
Happily married 16 yrs
D day-Aug 23 2008
Current status-working on R - broke NC Sept 8 2008, back on shaky ground
one male child 15 yrs old
Balancing Act ( member #19047) posted at 10:31 PM on Sunday, August 31st, 2008
Me - BS....living a wonderful new beginning and giving love another chance
Tulsa Area Coffee Buddy
SophieKnows ( member #20839) posted at 8:53 PM on Monday, September 1st, 2008
What a great post.. I am only in phase 1, collecting all my evidence. This is a very painful process, but I know I need to do this.
Me: BS - 33
WH - 33 SA, Multiple D-Days, Multiple OWs, Multiple Profiles on Dating Sites
False R - Was Separated - Now in Limbo while he's going through IC.
Mother to a wonderful 4 year old daughter.
Balancing Act ( member #19047) posted at 2:41 PM on Friday, September 5th, 2008
Me - BS....living a wonderful new beginning and giving love another chance
Tulsa Area Coffee Buddy
pitiful ( member #8137) posted at 2:42 AM on Monday, September 8th, 2008
Bump for humiliated again.
bbee ( member #17840) posted at 5:48 AM on Thursday, September 11th, 2008
bump
This above all: to thine ownself be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Hamlet, Act I, Scene 3
Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.
All's Well That Ends Well, Act I, Scene 1
SerJR (original poster member #14993) posted at 11:34 PM on Thursday, September 25th, 2008
Me: BH - Happily remarried.
Hope is never lost. It exists within you - it is real. It is not a force in and of itself - it is something that you create with every thought, action, and choice you make. It is a gift that you create for yourself.
IKnowNow ( member #12188) posted at 9:45 AM on Friday, September 26th, 2008
Great SerJR!
*just bumping*
Me - BW.
A MLC is not a reason, it's an excuse! - Me.
HelpMeUnderstand ( new member #19947) posted at 12:03 PM on Friday, September 26th, 2008
I wish I had this at the beginning of my journey. THANK YOU so much for your insight. I've been on this site before, but didn't really know where I fit in. Now I know. It's hard to start healing when you don't know where to begin. You made my day!
