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These experiences have really changed my view of M in general, I tried to talk my son out if it but he wouldn’t have it unfortunately. I would have preferred he never marry than experience what I have and be basically financially trapped for life.

Had I known and understood divorce law here in Louisiana then like I do now, I could have D and walked away without being zapped with alimony.

[This message edited by OrdinaryDude at 9:50 PM, September 1st (Wednesday)]

What do I tell my son when he gets to the age of wanting to marry someone? The deck is stacked against you and should really think about this because down the road she can take half your sh*t even if you are good faithful husband!?

I would say to either a son or daughter, to quote the wise man, Kanye West, "If you ain't punk, holler "We Want Pre-Nup!"

I would agree that it is sad, but the reality is that it is better to protect yourself and agree to something to minimize any damage in the future. Even if it is just to have both parties waive spousal support.

The whole trend is a societal trap.

We now have plenty of divorcee's up in your Wive's ears about how great it is, how great the new sex live is, how great the freedom is.

I would caution allowing any married couple to being too friendly and tied to divorce individuals. They get in their ear and misery loves company. The TV shows and all that nonsense that is thrown in your face.

My exWW (a blessing now looking at my situation) was hanging out with a new divorcee. THis woman was married to a great guy, had a nice career and was a good father. Nope, somehow unhappy with the guy and thought she could do better. She was mouthing off to my ex, and I told my ex that she should keep that lady at bay. Anyway, you know how the story ends.

Here's the bright side of all this. Her ex, he found a great woman and he's now remarried. She is a nice lady, loves their step son, church loving couple. His ex, my exWW's friend, is still a single miserable low self esteem hippy. HA. I wonder if my exWW will end up the same.

When you have low self esteem, aging, and a player comes along, that's a recipe ripe for infidelity.

My business lawyer told me....”Never enter into a contract where the other party is incentivized to break it.”

Hey Everyone, well it was a really long week but the good news is she is out! The moving company came & went on Tuesday this week, and a large chunk of new furniture arrived to my house on Wednesday. The kids stayed with her on Tuesday night and it was really weird having a large quiet house to myself. I am glad my dog was there to hang out with me . We finalized the assets and I came out pretty well had to pay her half of the equity in the house, agreed I would pay the kids college, (which I would have done anyway), and she did not get her claws into my 401K. I am doing well especially since I don't have to be around her. Long story but everything won't probably be finalized until December but we signed & agreed on the custody plan and the asset distribution. Kids are doing OK they have their moments and have told me a few times we just want to stay in our house (My house) and not go back & forth. So it will be and adjustment but overall I am at peace.

[This message edited by CM70 at 3:16 PM, Friday, October 15th]

CM70,

Congratulations! Now you can start to heal by going NC as much as possible. Only speak to her about legal issues and/or child care.

Do your kids simply want to stay at home since it is familiar OR do they not want to spend time with their Mom? If it's the latter, do you know what is driving that? Hopefully she is keeping her AP away from them. December can't come soon enough!

BlueRas, I will have no problem with no contact. I cringe we she calls or texts me. I had to go to parent teacher conferences last night with her, and after we got done she says "Let's take the kids out to dinner". I just said no I am cooking dinner, goodbye!

The house is familiar and I have most of their stuff, much more space, the dog and I can actually cook unlike her. She is also on edge according to them, because she has to do all the things that she took me for granted for. She doesn't have the TV's hooked up, or WIFI because she couldn't tell you the difference between, a coax cable, Cat6, or an HDMI cable.

CM70,

She is also on edge according to them, because she has to do all the things that she took me for granted for. She doesn't have the TV's hooked up, or WIFI because she couldn't tell you the difference between, a coax cable, Cat6, or an HDMI cable.

That would be funny if it wasn't so pathetic. You must have been carrying a lot of water for her over the years. You're a good man. It will take some time before she starts to realize it but by then it will be far too late.

Once she realizes that whatever she's doing right now is a fantasy, she'll come back running. She created more void in her life when she tried to fill in some space that she thinks was missing. Her AP won't do the things you did to her, he's just there to fill her up with her sexual needs but nothing more.

Good to hear your update. God bless.

She is also on edge according to them, because she has to do all the things that she took me for granted for. She doesn't have the TV's hooked up, or WIFI because she couldn't tell you the difference between, a coax cable, Cat6, or an HDMI cable.

Yep the cables she has to handle is a a lot different from the cables she chose to handle.

You do you and keep on being a good man.

I don't know if you are still visiting this site, but just wanted to check to see if you are ok? How are things transpiring? Hope all is well.

Hi Everyone, yes I am still lurking around. I have been traveling so much the last month that I have not been on the site very much. I am doing well, and my kids continue to adjust to their new normal. I had a big interview yesterday with another company for a VP position, hoping & praying that I land it. I also recently purchased a couple investment properties, which may be my path to not work for anyone but myself in the future. I have been dating a bit more talking to few ladies and that has been kind of fun I won't lie!

Little to no contact with the WW, she occasionally reaches out when she wants something or to complain about her money situation. The other day she was trying to figure out when the oil change needed to be done on her SUV. She had never had to deal with the cars (of course) as I took care of that myself or would take it in for service the last twenty years. She kept asking question after question, I answered the first two and then just stopped responding. Her Mom & Step Dad have little to nothing to do with the WW. My ex Mother-in-Law stops by my house on occasion, and told me last time she was at my WW rental house the WW had a breakdown of uncontrollable crying about how she knows how much she hurt me, and how many of her close friends won't talk to her anymore. Her Mom just told her your actions have consequences and that she will have a long tough road ahead of her. Far as I know she is still hanging out with the AP. Divorce is still looking to finalized in early December. Things get a little easier everyday and I am well onto my road of recovering from this train wreck I was thrown into.

[This message edited by CM70 at 7:16 PM, Tuesday, October 19th]

Glad to hear you are doing well.
I would say, hook up the wifi in your wife's house. That is just punishing the kids. If they have wifi they can contact you and their friends from the unfamiliar surroundings easier.
Just my 2 cents.

CM70,

Far as I know she is still hanging out with the AP

Has you STBXW introduced the kids to the AP or allowed them to interact in any way? I would be very concerned about having that POS anywhere near my kids...

Little to no contact with the WW, she occasionally reaches out when she wants something or to complain about her money situation.

The only time you should respond is if it concerns your children or the divorce. Do not respond to anything else. Her AP can deal with her problems. She is his problem now.

Voice calls should be similarly restricted. Unless the topic concerns your children or the divorce end it swiftly. Communications can be handled by txt or email. No voice calls unless there is an emergency with one of the kids.

[This message edited by smolderingdark at 9:52 PM, Thursday, October 14th]

Hey Cm glad to hear all is going well. I would say if first of Dec. Is d then mid Dec. The ap name should be shared with the kids if they have not already learned it.

Brother CM, good update. You have traveled a long hard road. You sound like you are in a good place and getting better every post.
Keep doing what feels right.
No one likes a cheater.
One day at a time

Great to hear your update. Made me smile even. Congratulations on your successes.

WW had a breakdown of uncontrollable crying about how she knows how much she hurt me, and how many of her close friends won't talk to her anymore.

Reading between the lines. She didn’t realize how tough it would be for her.

Those tears weren’t for you.