SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Justsomelady...

Anyhow - why are you here? You can’t be too secure and happy if you are defending and arguing and justifying to strangers in the internet. You came on Here on V day to a broken-hearted website to talk about your “lovely” future with a serial cheater . This whole thing smells off.

I'm here because I wanted to know what you all thought of my situation. I'm not trying to argue or defend anything and I apologize if I come off like that. I truly appreciate what's been said.

And to the best of my knowledge Evan isn't a serial cheater. At least that's what he told me. Posting this on Valentine's Day was an honest accident because his final hearing was today. If his hearing was on Monday I would have written this message on Monday.

It makes zero sense that they have been separated for 18 months, yet you are still a secret. After 18 months, most people would expect a man to be dating. Obviously there has been a discussion about not introducing you to anyone, for quite awhile,even after the divorce is final. Why is that?

My point with those questions was to help you understand that this isnt a real relationship. You don't share the day to day issues that couples share. You haven't met his family. Or friends. Do you have kids? Has he met your family and friends?

[This message edited by HellFire at 4:31 PM, February 14th (Friday)]

He is a serial cheater - he helped his wife cheat on her husband and now he is cheating w you.

Every post is you trying to justify your f’d up relationship, which you got by trampling all over a child and a woman.

I don’t believe your mistake was honest with the posting. But it wouldn’t really matter which day - it is heartless. Go share it on the pro adultery thread on reddit

[This message edited by Justsomelady at 4:34 PM, February 14th (Friday)]

I just read your alpha male thread. You asked for dating advice, how to win him over, from people who have been betrayed. Without saying a word about the fact that the man you were dating,and wanted to win over, was someone else's husband. Taking that into consideration, I think your timing in posting this thread, was exactly what you wanted.

And...you think you haven't stepped on anyone during this long term affair?

[This message edited by HellFire at 4:37 PM, February 14th (Friday)]

It's par for the course with any relationship and if he has my back and I have his dealing with those issues become easier to bear

Don't kid yourself. You make think this, but once your shitty affair sees the light of day and is out in the open, those "issues" also become reality and it isn't always pretty. It's mainly because your affair relationship has no merit, no respect and no foundation. People in healthy, moral relationships start out building a strong base that wasn't started in fantasy land.

His shit-stained underwear are probably going to be shittier than you think,,,,

What brought you here when you joined in 2006?

It's Valentine's day. What are your plans?

I just read your alpha male thread. You asked for dating advice, how to win him over, from people who have been betrayed. Without saying a word about the fact that the man you were dating,and wanted to win over, was someone else's husband. Taking that into consideration, I think your timing in posting this thread, was exactly what you wanted.

Agreed w Hellfire - you are sadistic and get off on this and on pulling the wool over people, running around in the dark, and if he is “alpha” lol then you must be too as you “won”. What utter bull. You are as deep as the paint peeling off an old decrepit wall.

We both wanted to wait until he was legally single to be more out in the open. You're right that I've been a secret for a long time. It was a conscious decision we both agreed upon. Again, I'm in no rush and would very much like to meet his family and friends in due time. That can't happen today or tomorrow but the goal is to bring each other into our respective lives gradually in time. He hasn't met my friends and I don't have much family to speak of. He however has a larger family and I think he wants to bring me in when the time is right.

He met his ex wife when she was separated and I'm not proud at all about engaging in an affair with him. Since October, 2018 he and I have been hanging out and talking outside of work. It's not what I would define as a relationship but now that he's divorced I hope a relationship evolves from here.

Please believe me that I had no ulterior motive with my timing. The dry fact of the matter was that his final hearing was today and it compelled me to write a post. I joined in 2006 when I caught my brother cheating on his wife for something like the fourth time. His story is a ten hour yarn at the very least and is something you couldn't make up if you tried.

My plans for tonight is to get together wth Evan to celebrate his divorce. There had been not one word breathed about Valentine's Day and it literally slipped my mind. We never brought it up.

Again, WHY ARE YOU HERE????????

You seem to have all the answers so why are you posting in an infidelity forum?

In case it hasn't sunk in yet, nobody here is sympathetic to your situation. Nobody is going to pat you on the back, give you kudos or think you are a swell gal.

I smell a troll.

Justsomelady...

you are sadistic and get off on this and on pulling the wool over people, running around in the dark

Im not getting off on this at all. And I don't think I'm a sadistic person. I wrote the "alpha" post when he was separated and during a time when he was being distant. I spoke about that in a previous post on this thread. There have been times when I walked away and times when we didn't talk since October, 2018. I would declare us "over" but for whatever reason we would always find our way back to each other.

There's no wool in my hands...I'm throwing it all out there raw and unfiltered.

I'm sorry I made you so angry.

I don’t believe you. You do get off on this. You asked for dating advice on an infidelity site - to date a married man. I don’t care about your complicated timeline. AND you want kibbles from people struggling with infidelity...to bless your new relationship and celebrate his divorce from his wife. That is SO beyond F’ed up.

Go post on a pro adultery blog if you’re looking for hearts and flowers.

I don’t see any real potential for growth or ownership w you as you just ride off into the sunset w your “alpha” you lured away. Bye Felicia.

[This message edited by Justsomelady at 5:10 PM, February 14th (Friday)]

Again, WHY ARE YOU HERE????????

You seem to have all the answers so why are you posting in an infidelity forum?

In case it hasn't sunk in yet, nobody here is sympathetic to your situation. Nobody is going to pat you on the back, give you kudos or think you are a swell gal.

I smell a troll.

I'm not looking for sympathy, a pat on the back or kudos. And I don't have all the answers...not even close. I'm not a troll but a person looking to discuss my situation and because it involved infidelity wanted to know what you thought. I wanted perspective and I've received that in spades. Believe it or not I'm thankful for it.

What on earth are you thankful for from this awful thread?

because it involved infidelity wanted to know what you thought. I wanted perspective and I've received that in spades. Believe it or not I'm thankful for it.

Well now you know.

I think you're a troll. Why else would someone come here knowing they would get the responses you have received, yet continue to subject yourself to the comments.

I don’t believe you. You do get off on this. You asked for dating advice on an infidelity site - to date a married man. That is SO beyond F’ed up.

It's because he's not married anymore that I wrote the post. We didn't "date" during our affair. You kind of need to leave the office to do that. It was beyond seedy, sleazy and low...probably one of the biggest regrets of my life. I had no expectation he would come back eight months later and surprised myself that my feelings for him returned.

There's no "getting off"...I'm not out to hurt any of you. This site has been nothing short of amazing to me and I'm more than grateful for its existence. All of you didn't have to take the time to respond to my post, but you did. I'm thankful for that beyond words. I'm listening to everything you've said and not trying to be defensive but instead just clarifying the facts I've presented.

He was very much married when you wrote the alpha post,asking how to win him over. When he had a wife at home. You asked betrayed wives how to win over a married man, you purposely neglected the pesky fact that he was married.

Why would you do that?

Yeah I didn’t leave the office either but I was still trampling on a married man’s family and kids by flirting and engaging w him inappropriately in my EA. (And my own). And you aren’t hurting me - you are hurting the betrayed people here. You just remind me of a messed up time, and of selfishness. Your feelings clearly aren’t matched up with a moral compass so I don’t know how far following those will get you honestly. Thank goodness I pulled my head out of my rear before I got to this point.

[This message edited by Justsomelady at 6:42 PM, February 14th (Friday)]

I just read your first post closely. The last three paragraphs are full of red flags, in my opinion.

He's stringing you along. He doesn't sound that into you. On and off, hot and cold from him for over three years. Now, six weeks into the latest round you are head over heels for him.

I will be surprised if you two are still together in six months.

He's stringing you along. He doesn't sound that into you. On and off, hot and cold from him for over three years. Now, six weeks into the latest round you are head over heels for him.

Yup. Look up limerence. I learned a lot about my issues when I discovered that concept, and suspect it impacts you too- if you are legit. And do you really want a man who can’t be alone and just monkey branches?

[This message edited by Justsomelady at 6:34 PM, February 14th (Friday)]