You still aren't telling the truth. Most likely to yourself, so of course you would be incapable of telling it to us.
Yes I started as the OW almost 3 years ago.
How can you be the OW if he was separated for a year?
You called the affair "torrid" in the first post, when challenged you change it to this.
Sometimes marriages aren't meant to be and while stepping out of it was 100% the wrong thing to do our affair was relegated to the office.
You contradict yourself to keep yourself from looking like the villain. That is a character trait of a wayward which you need to work on, and just vowing to never be another OW again will not fix that. You should be here to fix you. Not get advice from people asking if the cheating relationship now that you won the man will work out. Just listen to your question. You are asking if you can now have a relationship with the man you had an affair from people who advice to get as far away from APs as possible. They don't advice to start a real relationship after the affair and they divorce.
You have spent post after post justifying your actions by pointing out how awful the ex- OBS is and then go on to say judging that their children don't know real love and relationships then say you weren't judging,
I don't think I'm better than his ex-wife. I only know what he's told me about her. I've never met her so I'm in no position to form an opinion. I want to leave her alone.
I guess the better observations is that you hope you are higher on the OW totem pole than her. You have not left her alone. You did step on her to get to him. They were married for 8 years and you came along, offering him an alternative instead of him focusing on fixing or divorcing. Though you claim he was separated for a year out of that 8? And you were there for 4 months of that year? Still not buying your timeline.
He and his ex wife dated for five months, she got pregnant and they married four months later. She had been separated from her husband for about a year at the time and still needed to finalize her divorce. A month after her divorce was final, she and Evan got married. That's the basic gist of their pre-marital relationship.
Okay, so they were together for 5 months in their torrid affair. Then he found out she was 4 months pregnant. He stayed with her till her divorce was final and married her. Only out of necessity. Yeah, okay. 
Because he is a great guy that wanted to do the right thing by raising his daughter. Now, he wants to abandon all the kids because he doesn't want to support them financially. He wasn't capable of speaking up for himself for 8 years. He is a coward. He couldn't manage properly in a relationship. Obviously wanted her, got her, and because of his lack of self esteem and self confidence couldn't stand up for himself and have his wife get support from the real fathers. Or maybe he enjoyed winning and being the KISA till it got old. Then you came along with your mind games and fishing for attention. Or had others before you. Or after you.
Zugzwang I did mention that in my first post. I said we broke up and didn't speak for eight months only for him to show up unexpectedly at my desk. No gaslighting there.
No, you said this.
He then proceeds to tell me that he's getting a divorce and asked me to take the day off to celebrate. At the time I was involved in a long distance relationship with another man so of course I said no.
You said nothing about how he can't get you out of his mind till someone mentioned he just wanted to be free of responsibilities. Which you have reinforced over and over again. That he is "free". That he doesn't have to support 4 kids he has been a father to for 8 years. Yeah, sounds like a gem to abandon the 4 kids he has been living with for 8 years. I will not argue. You two deserve each other. He parents them for 8 years with obvious resentment and now he is free of them. Those poor kids.
We've been there for each other as it concerns our respective family dramas and have been each other's sounding boards. It's par for the course with any relationship
That is why you were stepping on her back and his family. No, it isn't par for the course with any relationship. Just cheating ones where one is married and you steal the intimacy away from them for him to bitch and complain to someone else instead of him talking to her. Which you say he did, but I doubt it because he has been a coward in that relationship and most likely never really communicated to her.
We both wanted to wait until he was legally single to be more out in the open.
So, you can lie and manipulate about the truth of your relationship. Yeah, that is real healthy and brave of you two. Still choosing to be the dirty secret to save face.
I would declare us "over" but for whatever reason we would always find our way back to each other.
Must be true luv. Not at all because you two have the character of cheaters, liars, and manipulators smacked with cowards, needy, and easy.
It was beyond seedy, sleazy and low...probably one of the biggest regrets of my life.
yest so "torrid" at the same time. From that short not dating office time he was your soul mate and you didn't want to be a mistress and wanted him to divorce. You are lying. It wouldn't have mattered to you if you truly knew and believed he was separated and divorcing. I don't buy the claim of separation and obviously neither did you. Or you wouldn't have called it an affair or yourself an other woman.
You knew how people were going to post. You knew the advice they would give. I think you either want to let the world know you won the cheater. Most likely based because you lost a man to someone else.Great catch. That took a lot of work to be cheap. Or you were hoping to feel better about yourself when you clearly don't have any pride on how you got here. You have been reading here for awhile and posted in general on purpose. You should have known to post in wayward.
Both Evan and his ex have dated since separating.
OH, good god. Now, you begin to TT the truth. They have been dating and trying to work it out. Then you justify by saying she was dating to. Why didn't you mention that pages ago? Because it sounds like you are still trying to save face for you and Evan and make it up as you go along. I would think you would have clarified that up in your past posts about winning him and in the first post of this thread.
The only difference is I'm the only person he's been with. From her social media posts he's shown me she's been dating multiple men and you know what? Good for her. Both of them deserve to be with someone they actually want to be with versus stuck with someone they don't.
Of course it is. How convenient.
I have no desire to meet his daughter or his family right now.
When you do, be truthful about how long you two have been together when they ask how long have you known each other. Not just that we worked together. Be honest and admit that you have been in an affair for 4 years.
I didn't know he was married when I walked up to his desk that day.
You didn't care because you enjoy the chase and playing hard to get.
All I knew was I hated his team and hated his candidate and walking by his desk every day would piss me off because it was emblazoned with regalia of both.
How immature of you. Really, it pissed you off so you just had to pick a fight.
It just got to the point that I had to say something to him about it and thought it would interesting to see if we could ever be friends.
With a married man. Friends by flirting and teasing and winning him over. You wanted to be a mistress with him.
Maybe I'm strange like that and for the first eight months we did nothing but argue and fight. It took hating the color pink to finally find something we could agree on and from there things improved.
You don't want to be an OW, it takes alot more than just admitting it and choosing to never be one again. It takes fixing why you wanted to be one in the first place. It takes fixing your need to flirt, tease, use people as social experiments (which you are doing now with us), your need to argue for attention, your need to grow up, your view on others (like how his ex wife never showed real love to her children), your lack of empathy, your lack of self confidence and esteem, your lack of self respect and the respect of others, and a host of other character faults you possess.
