SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I am really sorry to hear this very sad update. My prayers and condolences to you and yours.

I feel totally wrecked by this and am now starting to question the advice I give and the impact of it. I don't know if we should have pushed a line of forgiveness more than normal.

Our interestes are always first and foremost with the poster that comes to this forum and we try our best to protect those interests. However it isnt easy to hear news like this and one has to wonder if we could have saved a life by ignoring our experience and going for forgiveness point blanc.

I really hope that you are able to recover from this and know that we will always be here to support you. You are a good man that did not deserve any of this. Take care.

^^ exactly how I feel.

I disagree completely. Infidelity is abuse. Period.

Our advice needs to always be to save the victim. Nowhere in any of a1’s thread was anyone vindictive, in face a1 did nothing but handle the entire situation with absolutely class and resilience.

There was quite literally nothing a1 should or could have done differently. She clearly had demons which were quite obviously significantly outside of the expertise of 99.999% of the people here. As a rule almost every JFO also is very vociferous about the wayward getting IC as well.

This is a tragedy, this wasn’t an accident.

Please, let's not turn this into an assessment of the advice we give, or at least move that discussion elsewhere.

This is a sad time for AO.

I usually agree with manfromlamancha over on TAM and here too but I disagree here.

I agree with Sharkman completely.

And Xhz.

In the end, this story is pure tragedy and one I don't like to comment on.

The advice A1 got was good and solid.

He stays ? She may live but he dies inside.

He doesn't stay ? She does this which was completely unexpected at the beginning of this thread/.

As Sharkman said, noone here was vindictive, although there were differing thoughts. A1 was 'the man' in how he handled this situation. God bless him for that. I hope he has no regrets in protecting himself.

As Sharkman said, she had demons. Infidelity is abuse. Her demons are at peace and she is in a better place than us. But A1 will find he did the right thing in the end. And he will move on and be a successful and dignified person despite this.

If you are reading this A1, you did nothing wrong and you did everything right. It wasn't supposed to end this way but don't make this about you. I know you are traumatized but look to your daughters, move on and have the best life you can at this point. You deserve that much. I am truly sorry about your wife, there.

My condolences. I am sorry for your loss.

I don’t know if I have the right words. My heart gasped when I read your news. I am so incredibly sorry for all of this pain. I am so sorry for the loss of your wife and the mother of your children.

It is Holy Thursday today. I plan to light a candle for your wife and your family at mass this evening.

Sincerely sorry for your loss, but don't harbor guilt: You did absolutely nothing wrong.

In fact, you were honorable, fair and compassionate during an horrendous revealation--one that would have sent most men over the brink.

Seek spiritual and pastoral guidance from your church.

I’m terribly sorry for your loss. This hits home.

You and your girls are in my thoughts and prayers.

Sending strength.

AO,

That is just so heartbreaking. My prayers for you, your daughters and all family.

May she Rest In Peace.

[This message edited by Greeneyesbluezy at 5:17 PM, March 29th (Thursday)]

Wow My heart goes out to your daughters and you please take care of yourself so unfortunate.! infidelity the gift that keeps on destroying lives... God bless your family and you

I am sorry to hear about your loss and hope that your family recovers from this tragedy. Please take care of yourselves and understand that there is nothing that you could have done differently.

(((Ambi1)))

I am so sorry to read this update. My condolences to you and your family. You will be in my thoughts. Please be gentle with yourself.

A1, I am sorry to read your update. Praying for you and your family. (((A1)))

A1, your family will be in my prayers. I hope that you all see a counselor to help process this tragedy.

That said, NO ONE is to blame for this happening. Unfortunately it was entirely her choice and there was nothing anyone here or involved could have done to prevent this from happening. People who are determined to end their own life will find a way. No one has any blame in this.

Deepest condolences. You and your family are in my thoughts.

There are no words.

A1, you and your daughters have my deepest condolences. I’m so sorry for the pain you are all experiencing and for this devastating loss. I pray your wife is now at rest.

It is shameful that people are posting about his wife’s supposed “selfishness” and “abuse” when she’s not even cold in her grave. This was a woman in great pain who had deep anguish and regret over her hurtful actions. A1 loved this woman and she was the mother of his children. Such remarks are insensitive given the circumstances and are also not helpful.

A1, I hope that you and your daughters are utilizing grief counseling at this difficult time, and that you have loved ones to help support and be there for the three of you.

[This message edited by SoMelancholy at 10:28 AM, March 30th (Friday)]

Unspeakable shock and sadness. I can't even begin to fathom what you, your daughters, and your loved ones are going through. Wishing you strength, comfort, and peace. May you all hold each other up during this trying time.

So sorry to hear my sincere and deepest condolences for your loss. I know there is nothing I can say to take away your pain.

You are a good man and I know you take some od the blame.

If you ever need someone to PM,please feel free.

All !y thoughts and prayers are with you and your girls.

I am sorry.