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And yet, he’s suffered no consequence at all.

It’s almost if he has magical powers over everyone.

And yet, he’s suffered no consequence at all.

It’s almost if he has magical powers over everyone.

When my wife first started working there she told me that this guy was a real asshole. Always trying to get in the pants of someone on staff or try to hire someone so he could sleep with them.

Several months later she started talking about how nice and charming he is...

So now the latest voicemail:

"(with tears) Hi honey, I'm driving over to your office. Can we have lunch? We really need to talk. I mean it. We really need to talk and get beyond this stuff."

So now it's stuff.

"(with tears) Hi honey, I'm driving over to your office. Can we have lunch? We really need to talk. I mean it. We really need to talk and get beyond this stuff."

I knew it would escalate to her coming to your office.

You are well within your rights to ask her to leave, and if she doesn't cooperate, get law enforcement involved.

If you have a front desk/receptionist, ask them to let her know you are not available. Period.

Nothing good can come of this sort of meeting. Be prepared.

Cat

And he was hiring, too?

He must be exhausted.

I hope you will all forgive me if I am speaking out of turn but I just have to say that there are some elements to this story that I just find incredibly hard to swallow.

I find it hard to believe that The Posom could drug and rape not one but two women and neither be reported to anybody but the boss that apparently its common knowledge is sleeping with the posom. I simply don't know many women that would get drugged and raped and their first phone call not be to the police or their spouse and then the police.

I also don't know many women that would be comfortable just being one of the harem of a man who is known to be a women beater. You know the old saying, hell hath no fury like a women scorned. Most women would flip out if they were having an affair and then found out she wasn't the only one and yet this fellow found a whole office full of them as well as clients to boot??????

How about a boss that turns a deaf ear to rape allegations as well as inappropriate contact with clients. How many people would want to risk the shit storm that would come out if it was confirmed that you as the manger turned a blind eye to either of these things? we are talking about risking lawsuits and jail time for a guy that is apparently sleeping with half the women in town.

I'm sorry if i'm way off base here but I have to say this seems to be a bit of a stretch to me.

Can we have lunch? We really need to talk. I mean it.

Um,....nope!

She a cheater and tried to get you arrested on a DV charge.

Absolutely not, unless you have several witnesses present. She if she still wants to talk in front of them.

It is possible the OM is nervous about his possible legal charges and has put her up to covering his ass?

[This message edited by twisted at 2:51 PM, October 17th (Tuesday)]

At the risk of sounding cynical and heartless, this looks like just another in a long string of attempts by your wife to manipulate you and control the outcome. If you can get out of your office and just drive somewhere, do it now, before she arrives.

The other thing that strikes me is how every single one of these performances is all about her, never about you, 36. You tell her you need to talk about what she did, she tells you to get lost, you just have to get past it, and then when you go NC, she puts on a gala performance telling you what she needs you to do for her (which is let her off the hook for a staggeringly long list of horrible actions during and after her betrayal). Kind of funny how you have to do so much that she needs, but she won't do a thing that you need, and you are the man she did such wrong to.

You have a plan, and you should stick to it. It is the only way to bring this rollercoaster ride under control.

[This message edited by M1965 at 3:08 PM, October 17th (Tuesday)]

The first call I would make is to your attorney to make sure anytime he wants to get hold of you to call you on your cell phone (AND ONLY ON YOUR CELL). To make sure his staff knows this as well. NO MORE MESSAGES ON YOUR HOME PHONE!!!

Also, this goes without saying, and has already been predicted by others on here, things are going to heat up BIG TIME and get even CRAZIER the more you ignore her and she realizes she's not getting her way.

I mean how dare you ignore her, how dare you not just forget all of this "stuff", and how dare you not let her get her way.

Everything that you've shared about your wife and all the crazy stuff she's done thus far says to me your wife will (and already has) epitomize the phrase HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN SCORNED!!!

I sure hope you're keeping a VAR on you at all times because your old lady has a bunch of tricks up her sleeve that will either leave you in jail or dead.

Have you changed your will yet? If so have you had your attorney inform her of this?

36,

I’m confused. The POSOM does the hiring and the caretaking?

What position does he hold at this Christian organization?

[This message edited by Greeneyesbluezy at 3:46 PM, October 17th (Tuesday)]

Greeneyesbluezy

36,

I’m confused. The POSOM does the hiring and the caretaking?

What position does he hold at this Christian organization?

He is supposed to be the Assessment Coordinator. What that means is he is supposed to visit with the husband, wife or family of the person(s) needing care and assess whether or not they can be serviced appropriately.

However, in certain circumstances he also provides care. I am only beginning to understand what those circumstances are: women of a certain age, with money.

[This message edited by 36yearsgone at 4:05 PM, October 17th (Tuesday)]

I hope you will all forgive me if I am speaking out of turn but I just have to say that there are some elements to this story that I just find incredibly hard to swallow.

I find it hard to believe that The Posom could drug and rape not one but two women and neither be reported to anybody but the boss that apparently its common knowledge is sleeping with the posom. I simply don't know many women that would get drugged and raped and their first phone call not be to the police or their spouse and then the police.

I also don't know many women that would be comfortable just being one of the harem of a man who is known to be a women beater. You know the old saying, hell hath no fury like a women scorned. Most women would flip out if they were having an affair and then found out she wasn't the only one and yet this fellow found a whole office full of them as well as clients to boot??????

How about a boss that turns a deaf ear to rape allegations as well as inappropriate contact with clients. How many people would want to risk the shit storm that would come out if it was confirmed that you as the manger turned a blind eye to either of these things? we are talking about risking lawsuits and jail time for a guy that is apparently sleeping with half the women in town.

You're not out of line. It all sounds absolutely ludicrous. But it's true.

So where does him having the authority to hire come in?

I knew it would escalate to her coming to your office.

You are well within your rights to ask her to leave, and if she doesn't cooperate, get law enforcement involved.

If you have a front desk/receptionist, ask them to let her know you are not available. Period.

Nothing good can come of this sort of meeting. Be prepared.

Cat, I left the office in advance of her arrival.

36.

By no means do I intend to tell u to stop D proceedings from going forward. I think you should be full steam ahead.

They only thought I have for you is that I would only be telling WW: “WW, until the POSOM has suffered consequences for his actions with you and the other women at this organization we have nothing to talk about. If u can make that happen I will listen to what you have to say about our future. Otherwise you can communicate with me thru my lawyer”.

Other than that I would be informing every husband of every woman who works at this place that their wife is either involved with him or at risk.

I know you have a plan. I trust it will help the poor bastards that are in the same situation as you.

Strength to you.

Cat, I left the office in advance of her arrival.

Very wise!

[This message edited by LM2017 at 5:03 PM, October 17th (Tuesday)]

Did she ever get a STD test? And show you the results?

Also did you follow up on the email that the OM was using to contact her? It sounds like it was one you weren't aware of.

If that's the case they are possibly still in contact. (forgive me for stating the obvious)

Stevesn:

They only thought I have for you is that I would only be telling WW: “WW, until the POSOM has suffered consequences for his actions with you and the other women at this organization we have nothing to talk about. If u can make that happen I will listen to what you have to say about our future. Otherwise you can communicate with me thru my lawyer”.

I have been thinking about that for the last few weeks and I think that definitely needs to be part of the consequences.

I met with my own Human Resources manager this afternoon to get some advice. What I wanted to know was whether my wife could get things going by filing suit for sexual harassment and hostile work environment. She said yes.

Now the question is whether it is appropriate to bring this up directly with my wife under our current separation...

I'm open to advice.

[This message edited by 36yearsgone at 5:20 PM, October 17th (Tuesday)]

Iver:

Did she ever get a STD test? And show you the results?

The short answer is no.

Also did you follow up on the email that the OM was using to contact her? It sounds like it was one you weren't aware of.

There are at least two email accounts in question. The first is her former work email. I have no access to it. The second is the one she claims doesn't actually exist. I need to run some special utility programs on her machine (which as the moment I don't have access to).

If that's the case they are possibly still in contact. (forgive me for stating the obvious)

That's possible but I don't think so. However, I never thought she'd have an affair either. I can't be 100% positive either way.