SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Just a quick follow up, we are getting a divorce.

Found out that she had recently started sexting someone almost twice her age and shared clips of us having sex with him. Trust utterly shattered, just glad no mistakes were made!

Thanks for all the comments, I think I need to find myself a therapist!

I am so sorry to read this. I hope you are ok and get some professional advice. It can help you tremendously.

I am appalled she shared photos of you & her with a potential new AP. I hope that just ends there.

I’m so sorry this happened but at least you know the truth about who she is.

PS no offense but she appears to me her elevator doesn’t go all the way up if you know what I mean 😢

[This message edited by The1stWife at 3:57 AM, Saturday, July 22nd]

I am so very sorry to hear that she is putting you through even more pain and grief. And glad that you are headed for divorce. I cannot imagine how disordered a person must be to share clips like that with an AP, or how broken and enraged I would feel in your shoes. Take care of yourself. You are young; you will find your way through this and be much better without her.

That is the most heinous thing that I’ve ever read on this site. It’s not only an egregious violation of trust, it’s also illegal. Be sure to share that with your divorce attorney.

She made your decision easy, at least.

You’ve probably seen this old diddy:

"Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes."

She’s an asshole. Your mental health will likely drastically improve once you’re rid of her, but counseling will still help.

[This message edited by SacredSoul33 at 3:16 AM, Saturday, July 22nd]

Fantasm,

I'm so sorry that she kept choosing betrayal...and that both betrayals were SO f****d up!

Do find or continue counseling for yourself and be very assured that this is in no way a YOU problem. This has been very much a HER problem.

I am glad that her more recent betrayal (while horrifying!) has made your choice clear and that you are moving out of betrayal and feeling "stuck."

You can now fully focus on yourself and your own healing.

Be assured that you deserve so, SO much better!!

[This message edited by BreakingBad at 4:53 AM, Saturday, July 22nd]

Ffs. She was sexting/EA WHILE badgering you to get her pregnant? At risk of sounding like an asshole that sounds like some entrapment right there. Get out asap.

Eta

And yeah like everyone else says, echo the get a good lawyer. If she is gonna do that who knows what she might try to pull. Stay safe man.

[This message edited by StillGoing at 3:09 PM, Saturday, July 22nd]

Thanks for the update and I'm sorry she put your through this. But Wow!! She is all kinds of messed up, Brother you have dodged a major bullet. Best wishes to you.

It’s always so interesting how the bs feelings towards their married future evolves after learning. The bs needs to give themselves time. They will learn new things…about their partner, the affair details, their own core beliefs and standards. I had an arc that went from "Im going to commit to working through this" to being giddy that I "escaped mostly whole" from her. So glad he discovered the true her without the long term mess of children.

One thing that helped me was to think I went back to the time before I got serious with her…I was still learning about myself, peoples character types and what I wanted in my long term mate. After a little side tour, I was back on my journey ( a little more mature and bruised…both good things!

I won't give advice as I am relitively new hear myself.

I just wanted to say.. I cannot even begin to comprehend how your W and AP could even come up with such a cruel plan to do that to you.. That is just heartbreaking. Please get some counselling for yourself, it will help you untangle your feelings and hopefully put you in a better place to decide what you want.

I am so very sorry you have to endure this

I’ve heard of some pretty shitty things waywards do - but this! THIS is absolutely heinous. WHAT was she thinking? It’s painfully obvious she’s NOT ready to be anyone’s mother!! You were posted about your concerns about starting a family with her - and now you know, REALLY know what kind of person she is and that THIS is not the kind of person you’d want to build a family together with!!! Best wishes for the future!!

Hi Fantasm,

Our hearts go out to you, this is a painful revelation.
But we are here to journey with you if you simply want to vent or seek advice or other insights.

What steps have you taken so far?
Regards,
FAWH