SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Yum!!!!

That sounds delicious, HFSSC. I am assuming this is a recipe for Chocolate Bread Pudding? Trying it.

Can you use regular coffee for the liquor?

Can you use regular coffee for the liquor?

That's actually my preference. I've done it both ways. Usually use espresso or just really strong coffee.

SMS,

Sassy, it is to DIE for.

Hmmmm. I'll have to try the really strong coffee and see how it turns out.

HFSSC. You rock!

Looks great HFSSC!

What's the name of the recipe? It looks like it didn't post.

That's great to know about using expresso. I'll try it that way.

I fixed it. Didn't realize the top had gotten cut off when I copied and pasted it.

This is my "go-to" dish for any potluck dinners and it draws rave reviews every time.

This thread is now FOURTEEN pages and analyst hasn't shown any regrets or remorse for going after an innocent woman (someone that went through even more BS then he went through because there were kids involved).

He continues to refer to innocent women and children as "collateral damage".

Analyst keep believing that you're "usually a happy guy".

All I see is one BITTER ASS person.

Where do you draw the line?

As I see it the scales of justice (from your sick perspective) will never be served until OM is six feet under.

In your own words you have admitted that you STILL have feelings for your WW (the ONE who ULTIMATELY BETRAYED YOU) and yet you can't have any compassion for a woman who was betrayed JUST LIKE YOU. She's just "collateral damage" in your eyes and FUCK HER AND HER CHILDREN.

This thread is SICKENING and probably the most pathetic I've ever seen on SI.

People of SI.....I thought this was a place where broken people came to get help. For advice, for people who acknowledge they've messed up and are wanting to make things right and ultimately get out of pain and find peace and start a new journey in life.

This sad human being has NO remorse and more importantly comes here to boast. Wouldn't change a thing he's done and has given every indication that he will continue to go after this INNOCENT woman (and her children) because he's just a bitter.....pathetic.....unhappy individual who cares about one person and one person only and that's himself.

Why is this thread still open?

In my opinion this thread needs to be locked up, because engaging this guy is like trying to engage the village idiot.

Mods if you want t ban me because of my "offensive comments" or I'm "attacking" this guy have at it.

The best thing about this thread has been HFSSC's recipe (thanks for sharing by the way).

People do come here for help. However, when you're attacked, you get defensive... it's a natural response. It's hard to hear the other side when you're busy defending yourself?

Q: How many of the responses here are direct insults?

Q: Who does the insults help?

Q: Are we as responders truly helping Analyst by responding in this manner?

Q: At what point does swinging a metaphorical 2x4 become something that isn't helpful?

Q: What message are we sending to other readers thinking about posting their revenge thoughts?

"People do come here for help". Yep.

This guy. Nope.

Good night.

He’s just as hurt as any other BS and he deserves people to understand that, not just flame him out of personal disgust over his actions...but it is ok to say he is coping with hurt in an unhealthy, and unsympathetic manner...analyst we get it, you like feeling hard and ruthless because retaliation makes you not someone to be fucked with.. you’re not a “fool me twice” kind of guy and you want your unwavering position here to reflect that...honestly, ignore the posters who are just gonna bash you, listen to the ones who feel for you, but want you to understand Why it’s wrong. You want to bury him legally? Go for it. But from here on, please leave his wife out

[This message edited by nicenomore at 10:43 PM, December 2nd (Saturday)]

PM for you Booyah

Analyst please accept my humble apology.

Your "collateral damage" comment struck a huge nerve as one of my really good friends was called this (and treated this way) by her WH. She would have loved to be able to walk away, but given her situation (and a medical need for one of her kids) leaving was never an option and if you could see what it's done to this innocent woman and her children it would break your heart.

That said, I know one thing you can identify with this woman and that's the hurt and devastation of being betrayed by the one person who is supposed to have your back. I am TRULY sorry analyst that you're world was torn apart and that you're obviously still in a lot of pain (and why you feel the need to do anything to try and even the scales of justice).

I may off base, but this forum (as I see it) is a place to try and heal and move in a direction that will ultimately find some sort of peace.

Yes it's also a place to vent (I get it), but I don't think it's really a place to come to boast about hurting innocent women and children.

Let me ask you analyst, is what you've been doing helping you find peace (and be honest with yourself)?

I don't want to judge you (and please again accept my apology because ultimately I have), but it appears you're stuck in a place (and continuing to do things) that is keeping you from starting the process to heal and to find peace. I get it....you're angry and hurting and want justice and thus the lashing out. Even if it's just a card, your intent shows you're still angry and will do anything to bring misery to OM (even if throwing a grenade into where OM is will harm innocent bystanders).

This thread is now 14 pages long analyst. You've been asked numerous times by other posters why are you here and how can the people of SI help you?

There's a ton of wisdom on here, and hopefully you'll tap into it. I went back and read some of my comments towards you and even though you struck a chord with me I ultimately wasn't really understanding you and remembering where your comments were coming from.......PAIN.

I wish you well analyst (I truly do). I hope that you will consider leaving this innocent woman (and her children) alone moving forward but that is up to you and you alone.

To the people of SI I ask that you too please accept my apology as well as what I was doing (IMO) was a total contradiction to what SI is all about and that's to not sit in judgment of anyone but to try and understand where they're at (because of this god awful thing called infidelity) and to try and bring some wisdom, encouragement, support and prayers to people who have come here desperately trying to find peace and to hopefully start to heal.

Analyst I wish you well and I will keep you in my prayers, but I will also be praying for OM and his wife and children.

Hope you (and everyone else here on SI) have a wonderful Sunday.

I haven't read this thread until this morning. Several pages ago someone asked Analyst what he was wanting from this thread. I ask those who have taken a harsh, accusatory, attacking stance what they want. Those attacks started right after the original post.

Sometimes when a very hard line is taken it further entrenches the person that the hard line is used on in their position. Happens all the time in business, politics, families, clubs, churches, etc. A softer approach may actually facilitate the person to consider a different viewpoint from what they are currently holding.

Analyst, you say IC isn't worth it because of your heritage. Why not give it a try? Not for your WW or to take the pressure off her AP. Give it a try for yourself. Maybe even make it a priority as you did to write the UNI and in your profession. Maybe give it an honest shot and not give up on it to soon. The UNI was about career. This could be about life - your life - hopefully a long and eventually a joyous one.

I understand about revenge. I hope WW's AP suffers from pus dripping horrendous boils for the rest of his miserable life. I wish I could make it happen. Can't though.

It seems like so many BH are supporting Analyst? Am I wrong? Are any BW supportive of his "need" to lash out?

That makes me so sad. You know why? Because good people seem to think it's ok to hurt others if they have been hurt, sneaking around the idea of personal responsibility. Whether you call it 'helping karma' or 'consequences' or some other justification doesn't matter; if you identify with being hurt, then you find a way to overlook that others are being hurt, yes?

Every criminal out there is living by that same "I was hurt first" motto--every murderer, gangbanger, rapist, thief, abuser, molestor--is justifying their actions in the same way. Trust me, I have met many.

I am sad when I watch good people become the evil they loathe, and they can't even see it. Or worse, they no longer care.

Never wonder why the world is a hurtful place; read this thread to remind yourself.

[This message edited by OwningItNow at 11:05 AM, December 3rd (Sunday)]

Im a BH turned MH, and not supportive of his actions, but am understanding of the why. Pain, pure and simple. It doesn’t matter if he wants the OM dead, that’s not the issue here, as the OM willingly chose to pursue his wife knowing he was married. OM doesn’t deserve sympathy or prayers or frankly any happiness...I’d agree to that...it the OBS that should be so obviously off limits for all the reasons we have listed. I think every betrayed H or W here agrees with that....

Analyst needs to understand that showing empathy is as important for his future well being as well as the OBSs... eventually not actively trying to hurt the OM either. Not because he deserves redemption, but because it’s important for analyst to heal... do it for you, if not for anyone else man...

[This message edited by nicenomore at 11:57 AM, December 3rd (Sunday)]

OIN, you are wrong. It seems to me that there are far more people chastising him at a minimum than being wholeheartedly supporting him.

I find your bolded statement judgmental and generalizing. You are stating your feelings. Feelings aren't facts. They're your feelings based on your biases. Just like this response of mine is based on my feelings and biases.

I agree with Steady. I saw maybe a few (2 or 3 tops?) posts that seemed to outright support his chosen course of action for extracting revenge.

There are those who have been less harsh and haven't thrown out personal attacks, but that can hardly be seen as an endorsement.

And I also agree with Steady that personal attacks tend to galvanize people and harden their stance.

My primary criticism, aside from vehemently disagreeing with harming the BS to get revenge against OM, is that it appears Analyst is moreso bragging than seeking help ("hero story" about anger sort of thing).

Owning It Now, I agree with you. Taking joy in hurting people is no way to live.

I am a sahm so I will answer as to what I would feel receiving those cards.

Pity.

They wouldn't bother me simply for the fact the he would want them to bother me.

I would see him for what he is.

A sad, bitter person who deserves my pity and nothing more.