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Greeneyesbluezy - Thank you for taking the time to chime in now, and for the support I'm sure you have given BH. I appreciate the recognition of my efforts (even if they are inelegant and sometimes misguided), and if you ever feel a 2x4 is warranted, know I'll do my best to take it on the chin.

Yes, AP gave ego kibbles freely. So freely I was even skeptical he meant all of them, but by that point I was hooked and so I didn't really care. It was like I just needed to hear them, and it was of little consequence of he meant them or not. Is that terrible to say? It feels trashy and cheap.

BH has never been an ego kibble provider, so I have no expectations of getting them from him. He shows his dedication and love in other ways, through being quietly considerate and thoughtful. Those have been a challenge to do without, but being on my own in that regard has helped me reduce my reliance on others for emotional stability, which I know has been good for me.

You are absolutely right that love beats ego kibbles, hands down. Honestly, loving does, too. Being present and invested is so fulfilling, I don't feel empty, anymore - even on the days when BH has nothing but distain and indifference for me.

I'm so saddened by the ways I turned my back on him, even before I strayed... By the time of the A, I was so wrapped up in my own issues that I didn't have anything left for him, and yet he kept giving. Every day, he gave.

Now, it's my turn to give, to the extent he'll accept it.

This is wayward thinking. You didn't do crap for "ego kibbles". You're treating this like some currency. Some black and white thing.

That's precisely how life does NOT work. You did these things because you wanted to and because it made him happy. He did things, such as compliment you, because they made you happy.

A wayward's "ego kibbles" are a marriage's "love languages". There is literally zero zero zero zero zero difference between the two.

I'm saying this with respect, and I hope that you take it this way, but you're not an idiot. You're not some trained seal who performs for fish, ego kibbles or whatever else. You are a smart complex person who was in a committed relationship with someone other than your husband.

I say this because if you want to fix yourself you need to look under the hood. Right now you're not confronting what ails you because it means that your husband is 100% right. And if he's 100% right you're fairly certain that this means he will / should leave you.

Intrinsically you started cheating on your husband because you don't give a flying crap about him. You may have used compartmentalization and self-delusion to a degree, but you decided to put you before him. Period. You love yourself more than you love him.

All of this work you're doing is completely wasted if you're figuring out how you can not fall for the next ego kibble. What you need to be working on is figuring out how to love someone else more than yourself. You're still not doing this. You sound like a smart person with the capability and capacity to be exceptional, so I hope you don't take me being direct as an affront. I find it a damn shame if you don't reach your potential.

[This message edited by Sharkman at 4:48 AM, September 15th (Friday)]

CSCE,

I couldn't let this go, not because I want to rant on again but because I feel you are loosing any chance with your husband if you continue with this line of thinking. I want you to succeed because my gut tells me that you truly do love and respect him now and that he still loves you. I think respect will be a long time coming though.

Why did I write my last long missive. Because I knew how this missed contact would affect your husband. It actually shocked me that you did this as I felt you were truly remorseful and this showed me that you were not there yet. Alongside the statement you made earlier that your husband was not as adventurous in the bedroom as your AP. This was wrong on so many levels that I couldn't even begin to cover that. Both this statement and your contact failure really hurt your husband and yet emanated from you.

This is still wayward thinking:

As I say that, I suspect it might have actually been a similar issue - I was sending the photos to AP because he wanted me to, just like I was sending updates to BH because he expected me to. As opposed to doing either thing for myself.

You are still minimising your responsibilities in this affair. No, as Sharkman says, you were sending photos to AP because you wanted to. Not because he wanted you to, not for the ego kibbles but because you enjoyed the thrill of it and to be honest with yourself you enjoyed putting one over on your husband. I think it was not just about you but against your husband and he believes that too. Hence the anal; hence the love letters sent and kept; hence the invitation to the marital home; hence the text response and then almost immediately starting the PA. You were not a reluctant partner in this manipulation by the AP to disrespect your husband, you were more than willing.

I think the collusion that Waitedwaytoolong's wife had with her AP to demean her husband by setting up a meeting during the affair, to give her AP more anal sex in a 3 week period than in their entire marriage, to have 'public sex' practically in front of the other workmen, to have sex in the marital bed was the main reason why he finally couldn't reconcile.

DoneGone met his wife accidentally in a cafe. She was with her AP.

"In one of her email conversations with OM, he joked about me being pathetic and stupid when I walked in on them having lunch at the restaurant. Instead of being confused or suspicious, he stated that I just joined them for a few minutes and left. He said that had it been him, he would have opened up a can of whup ass on the spot.

Even with all that WW was doing, I would have thought she respected me enough to shut down or at least ignore this type of crap. She did quite the contrary. According to WW, this was like a turning point for her. She had been debating on whether or not to sleep with OM. I had actually caught them red handed and everything was still ok. In fact, they joked that it was even better because now they had my blessing because, as I left, I told them to enjoy themselves.

They laughed back and forth about how I could be so dense as to walk in and catch them and yet be so clueless. They were even playing footsies while I was sitting there holding WW’s hand. And the real gut burner is that, according to WW, I was the deciding factor in her deciding to sleep with OM the first time."

I recollect that they also called him a dumbass at the time. Pretty terrible eh? DoneGone was a great husband, regularly dating his wife taking her on holiday several times a year, always showing his love. Probably even a better husband than yours if truth were known, yet she did this horrible thing to him because she wanted to. She wanted illicit sex with someone who was always bragging about the size of his manhood and this meeting was the final piece of the jigsaw for her. This is what people do in an affair, this is what you did.

You can rationalise and articulate as much as you want about your issues and I truly believe you want to fix yourself and help your husband but it must come from your heart and not your mind, otherwise your husband will still not believe you are genuine and trust you accordingly. In his eyes the failure to contact him was because your heart was not in it, not because you just forgot.

I think you taking the photos was you demeaning your BH and working with your AP to do this. It was not lack of boundaries, ego kibbles, other issues etc, it was you and your AP working together to assert your control and disrespecting your husband every single day. I think not contacting your husband that day was a little bit of the same. You thought you were contacting him because in your own mind he was demanding it, when in fact you should have been doing that, not for you but for him, because you wanted to for him, to help him feel safe, while you were away on your old stomping ground where you used to meet your AP.

Read Sharkman's analysis over and over:

That's precisely how life does NOT work. You did these things because you wanted to and because it made him happy. He did things, such as compliment you, because they made you happy.

A wayward's "ego kibbles" are a marriage's "love languages". There is literally zero zero zero zero zero difference between the two.

Intrinsically you started cheating on your husband because you don't give a flying crap about him. You may have used compartmentalization and self-delusion to a degree, but you decided to put you before him. Period. You love yourself more than you love him.

All of this work you're doing is completely wasted if you're figuring out how you can not fall for the next ego kibble. What you need to be working on is figuring out how to love someone else more than yourself. You're still not doing this. You sound like a smart person with the capability and capacity to be exceptional, so I hope you don't take me being direct as an affront. I find it a damn shame if you don't reach your potential.

Admit this to yourself and then you may finally be able to convince your husband that you are reconciliation material. You did this because you could, you enjoyed it and you would be still doing it if you hadn't have been caught.

If you loved your husband more than yourself, would you have forgotten to contact him? I somehow doubt it.

Please reach your potential.

Sorrowful Moon's advice may seem harsh, but it is something you must consider if you are to have a chance at reconciliation. We do things that may seem right for us at the time, but in hindsight are horrific. We can rationalize them so we can continue feeling good about it, but, we will never be free of the guilt. It is on his mind constantly, but on your mind not so much it seems. Your trip was an escape for you, but another torture for him. There is no "us" now, there has been no "us" for over a year and a half. There was you & AP, and there was him. Until you feel his pain equally or more than he does, there will be no us again. I am rooting for you, but until you feel in your soul, this pain, as he does, I can't see it ending the way you wish and hope for.

Sorrowfulmoon: Your analysis is spot on. This was exactly what I observed and voiced to OP couple months ago and made the decision to cease commenting until she (hopefully) would come to the realization that she was just playing mind games in a way to deflect the reality of what she did.

Unfortunately up until now she is still not there. I really hope she does get there and she should pay attention to what you and Sharkman have said.

She seems to be such a brilliant woman and so coherent in here comments, yet seems to keep minimizing her actions (probably unintentionally).I really wish her and BH well in hoping they can R because deep down I think they from their own perspective (subtley at times) want to be with each other. The road is long for R, and OP is making some blunders that are quite consequential to the R process.

Sorrowfullmoon, you are correct with your analysis of what I went through. It was the total lack of respect on so many fronts. She too played the passive card on all of these. "I set up the meeting because he pushed me so hard to do it I never enjoyed the anal, but it was something he wanted. I didn't know prior to coming out of the room his friends were listening. We used the house as it was the safest place to do it"

She for the longest time insisted that she never stopped loving me and always had respect for me. To this day she says she doesn't understand her actions and it felt like she was in an out of body experience.

To this I call bullshit. The actions she exhibited in the affair were her. She wanted the sex, and on some level she had to know how much she was disrespecting me. You are right in that even if it wasn't on a consicious level, the both colluded to bring me down a notch or too.

The explanations did nothing but infuriate me. How do you explain so much away. I'm not sure in the long run it would have mattered, but it would have been better if she just fessed up to fact she just wanted him more than me at this time. He was what was important and not me.

I still seeth thinking about the months after d day of all the explaining.

[This message edited by waitedwaytoolong at 4:49 PM, September 15th (Friday)]

Inappropriate reply

[This message edited by SI Staff at 6:07 PM, September 17th (Sunday)]

^^^That's not very helpful or constructive. It goes without saying that cheating is a terrible choice, and active cheaters are practically by definition horrible people. However, this forum is here so that motivated WS can improve themselves and make better choices in the future.

OP has a ways to go for sure, but she has a lot of potential and has come a long way in a relatively short time. Odds are good she will have real consequences from her betrayal. The odds are also good that she will use this experience to grow into a better person and safer partner in the future, provided she continues to work at it.

Also, the photos each morning were 'I may be with my husband right now but I'm thinking only of you' messages. They are very common in infidelity cases like this where the affair partners were in love with each other's.

It is usually a bad sign since it is a sign of lack of compartmentalizations. With compartmenting affairs, the WS will love in a bubble that, in many cases, can get 'popped'. In non-compartmental affairs, you may falsely diagnose a compartmental bubble pop due to the wayward 'finding religion' immediately after d-day. Typically this is not the case though and it's the survival instinct of the wayward kicking in.

That's what we are seeing here, which I present as respectfully as possible in 2x4 form. Places like SI can be very damaging to a wayward in damage control. It gives them a template for reconciliation and they do this as if you would Do a color by number. And just as color by numbers is not true art, templates reconciliation is not real reconciliation. That's why she's clinging to verbiage and similar here like 'ego kibbles'.

It's sad. The horse is probably out of the barn already on this one. All of these pages and pages of advice are not needed. It's amazing the circuitous route one takes towards reality. OP loved her boyfriend, she loved her life with her husband. Nobody, most of all BS, is not an idiot, and sees this. Trust starts with truth and if CECS can't even arrive at basic truths then healing will never start.

Sadly, since I believe this has gone too far astray truth would likely be the final nail, but at least they could separate with respect. That's much better (and much more respectful) than the alternative.

I think Sharkman, stop coming here. You're one twisted ball of negative energy. You're two faced between the spouses' threads. CECS, I'd suggest you put in a stop sign.

Say what you want about the mistakes or poor decisions CSCE is making in her journey, but through her structured form of writing, I see a genuine desire to work on herself.

I think people tend to get on her case because of how she expresses herself, but her way of writing doesn't bother me. I practice law so I'm always writing. As a result, I tend to think and write in somewhat of a robotic, impersonal manner. That doesn't mean that what's being written isn't raw or full of emotion, or that it is dishonest, etc.

In any event, I'm confused as to why CSCE's "haters" think she's here if she doesn't want to do the right thing. She takes a ton of 2-by-4's, which a WS needs to take, but she has remained working on herself and posting on this site, typically responding to the roughest ones by acknowledging that the poster had a good point. I think it all relates to writing style / how she expresses her emotions. That would be unfair in my opinion.

SilverLinings55, I am certainly not a CSCE 'hater', far from it and I do agree with many of your points, particularly that she is here to try and do the right thing by her husband. She is in my view truly trying to better herself.

In that process I just think, however, that she is giving the impression to her husband that her reconciliation is a 'paint by numbers' one as so aptly put by Sharkman. I am sure it isn't but that seems to be the impression that her husband is getting. To me the 2-by-4's, including mine, are in good faith to try and help her change that view, particularly as her husband came onto the site with a divorce mindset. They are meant to help, not hurt. Apologies to CSCE if mine came out more like a 4-by-4!

Most here, although being critical, seem to be rooting for CSCE. I would thus maintain that she should actually take on board what is being said by the likes of skerzoid, breadfruit1 and Sharkman.

I cannot recollect a single Wayward who has been so committed to doing the right thing, I just think she is afraid to admit to herself and her husband the reality of what she actually did during the affair and subsequently the changes she has to make to be a safer wife. It is certainly, in my opinion, not from the want of trying, it is just misdirected in the essentials.

I honestly wish you the very best CSCE. If anyone can reach their 'true potential' I am sure you can. If you achieve that I hope your husband does give you the gift of reconciliation and allows you the opportunity to show him that you can be a safe partner in the future.

I cannot recollect a single Wayward who has been so committed to doing the right thing, I just think she is afraid to admit to herself and her husband the reality of what she actually did during the affair and subsequently the changes she has to make to be a safer wife

I couldn't agree with you more.

One thing I might point out. If I wanted to fix my car, for instance replace my blower motor, I would look up a video on YouTube and try to replicate the steps because something is broken and I don't know how to fix it. An experienced mechanic would likely look at me and shake their head because of how intentional everything looked.

I don't think she does really get it, and I think she gets that she doesn't get it, and she keeps on coming back here to try and work it out.

I remember early in this thread I had mentioned that I think she has a chance because she seemed genuinely confused by what was happening and showed some cognitive dissonance. She knew something was wrong, she just didn't know what.

Very perceptive as usual xhz700. Your observations fit into Sharkman's phrase of 'colour by numbers'. I know I could sit and read a car manual for weeks on end and still have no clue as to how to fix my car.

I cannot recollect if CSCE is currently seeing an IC or not (sorry terrible memory). In any event that person needs to be a specialist in infidelity if she is to successfully find her way.

My thoughts today were triggered by getting my first new £10 note, featuring a portrait of Jane Austen. It just came into circulation on 14th September. 2017 marks the 200th anniversary of Jane Austen's death. Austen's presence on the new £10 note was one of the first announcements made by Mr Carney after he took up his position as governor of the Bank of England.

He said: “Jane Austen certainly merits a place in the select group of historical figures to appear on our banknotes. Her novels have an enduring and universal appeal, and she is recognised as one of the greatest writers in English literature.”

As well as a portrait, the new note includes the quote, “I declare after all there is no enjoyment but reading!” However, the quote wasn’t said by Austen herself, but instead by the “detested” character Caroline Bingley in Pride and Prejudice, who in fact hated reading. I think Jane Austen would be highly amused at that!

Sorry for this semi thread-jack CSCE (and I hope the moderators don’t jump on me but it is in a good cause!). I imagine that you must be really struggling right now and so I suggest some good quality reading . For a person of such obvious intelligence as yourself reading Jane Austen may help take your mind off your current travails. Hopefully my post will amuse and also lighten your mood:

“The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.” Northanger Abbey

I know it’s her most famous novel and as such obvious but I would still recommend ‘Pride and Prejudice’. How could I not with such a memorable opening sentence:

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”

And some very pertinent quotes from Jane Austen characters:

“It isn’t what we say or think that defines us, but what we do.” Sense and Sensibility

“How quick come the reasons for approving what we like!” Persuasion

“There are people, who the more you do for them, the less they will do for themselves.” Emma

“To flatter and follow others, without being flattered and followed in turn, is but a state of half enjoyment.” Persuasion

Much of the content below is a crib from literary criticism (I am not that clever) but hopefully will encourage you to read /re-read Austen and if you already have there is no author who benefits more from a second read.

Jane Austen was a literary genius whose wonderful prose, memorable dialogue and cutting acerbic humour make her, as Mr Carney stated, one of the greatest English speaking novelists.

Jane Austen is funny, and her, at times outrageous preoccupation with ‘Mighty Aphrodite’ gives her work energy and wide-ranging appeal. She is one of the few authors whose novels students of English have read for themselves, and she features prominently in discussions of books by people who have no professional interest in literature. Jane Austen’s tone is laconic, engaged, detached, amused, askance and angry by turns.

Virginia Woolf observed that “Sometimes it seems as if her creatures were born merely to give Jane Austen the supreme delight of slicing their heads off”.

Jane Austen is strenuous in her moral awareness. Virginia Woolf traces her moral charge to her wit and to “an exquisite discrimination of human values”.

She is exacting in her claims upon the attention of the reader as we are required to follow the implications of the texts. Readers have to look back, to make connections, to exercise their aesthetic, social and moral sense and to supply what is not there. Jane Austen invites us to collaborate with her. She makes novelists of us all. Of course, at every turn, we have missed a great deal. Jane Austen wrote that her books were not for “such dull elves’ / As have not a great deal of ingenuity themselves”. It is the challenge of us all who encounter her to try not to be accounted one!

Jane Austen shares a quality with authors such as Shakespeare, Wordsworth and Dickens; her works are receptive to different interpretive approaches. It is perhaps not surprising that the novels have received interpretations based on the politics of feminism; each of them is female- centred. Fanny Price (Mansfield Park), valued by Sir Thomas Bertram for her ‘persuadableness’, resists male persuasion with the plain defiance of common sense. “I think it ought not to be set down as certain, that a man must be acceptable to every woman he may happen to like himself”.

A book by Jane Austen will never be ‘finished’. She will ever stimulate, and elude. Virginia Woolf paid powerful tribute to this characteristic evasiveness:

“She wishes neither to reform nor annihilate; she is silent and that is terrific indeed.”

Good reading CSCE I just hope you too have as happy an ending as Elizabeth.

Hi everyone,

I'm in a really dark place right now, but I wanted to check in to say that I'm still here. I can't respond to each of you yet, but I promise I will as soon as I feel stable enough to do so.

This week has been a roller coaster of emotions, and I'm worn out. Celebrating the building of a life together while mine is in ruins has been hard. Witnessing commitments of love while feeling the pain of how fragile they can be is soberingly sad. Seeing the bonds that have been made among my family and friends over the 10 years I have been away and that I'm not a part of has been isolating.

I feel utterly lost and completely hopeless. I suppose it's despair, or maybe grief.

I got back from my trip last night, and in talking to BH it feels like it's all over. Even though he hasn't "made a decision" officially, I get the sense he has and he's just waiting out the clock. The realization has been crushing, and I've felt utterly numb and empty all day, except the occasional bout of spontaneous tears. BH is acting "normal", which instead of eliciting the usual relief is making me feel incredibly guarded and wary.

I'm struggling. Even with everything, some part of me can't let go. Some part of me is holding on to the (foolish?) hope that maybe it isn't true or it will pass, and if I just (fill in the blank), I can change the course of this. Just stick around long enough, just show him I'm invested enough, just hurt enough, whatever. Even though this pseudo-limbo is taking a toll and putting my whole life on hold, even though he's said from the beginning that divorce is a near-certainty, and even though he keeps pushing me to give up and trying to convince me that I want to leave...even though everything logical and rational says I should prepare to move on and start over, that part of me is making it so I just can't.

When I try to think about it, my brain shuts down. The thought of BH willingly writing me out of his life constricts my heart and makes me feel like I can't breathe, and I can't fathom doing the same. The things he's been saying lately, and the emotionless way he's said them, have hurt so badly I can barely stand it.

I feel like Wile E. Coyote, after he runs off the cliff -- as soon as he looks down, his fate is sealed. As a result, I feel like I'm doing everything I can to not look down, hoping that if I manage it long enough, there is a slim chance I can make it to the other side instead of falling into the chasm.

I have completely lost touch of when "enough is enough". As much as I feel like I'm emotionally in denial, a part of me knows that I couldn't live with myself if on top of everything else, I walked away. It's terrible. I don't know which is more selfish - giving up or sticking around, especially knowing the likely outcome. If I give up am I just shielding myself from the feelings of rejection and potentially making BH feel it instead, or taking the weight of the decision from BH's shoulders and saving us both from an unnecessary struggle? If I stay, am I refusing to respect what he needs for healing, or demonstrating vulnerability even though I know I will likely get hurt?

I haven't let go of the outcome. It's not why I'm working on myself or why I'm doing what I can to demonstrate I'm safe, but today has made it clear that I am still really invested. I simply can't make myself not care. I try and I try, and on some days I manage, but when the chips are down I grab hold of it for dear life.

God, I just want to curl up into a ball and protect my heart.

Please be gentle. I feel so incredibly fragile...a harsh 2x4 might shatter me.

Gently, One of the Patron Saints of SI is SpaceGhost0007. He was betrayed by his wife when she had an affair with her millionaire boss. She didn't love her boss, but was feeling a little lost with her children going off to college and maybe a little midlife crisis, but was deeply in love with her husband. He had let her know that infidelity would be a deal breaker. When he had to work out of town,once a month, she would go on a trip with her boss out of town for some fun at different resorts, and never thought she would get caught. He caught her, kept it a secret till he had all his ducks in a row, had her served at work, and left town for ten days while staying NC. It destroyed her. No matter how much she begged, no matter what she did to show her remorse, no matter how much anguish she showed, he would not relent. She had never told her boss that she loved him, because she thought THAT would be betraying her husband. But to him, she had emasculated him. She had done the one thing that he could not forgive. Even though he still loved her, he said he now saw her as damaged goods. He said that no wife deserved to be viewed that way by her husband. She deserved someone who could love her and not see her as that. And he said that he deserved to have someone that he didn't view that way. He said that they both deserved that. I think you both are young. You both deserve to be loved by someone who worships the ground that you walk on. It may be that this will be with someone else, though you may not see that now. You fell in love with two men, you will be able to find someone that, in time, you could fall in love with again. You deserve that. Your husband deserves that for him. I really wish you happiness in your future, I really do. I wish you the strength to get past this.

You fucked up. You have two options, you can feel bad for yourself or you can dust yourself off, take a deep breath and make this make you a better person. We are defined by our successes but shaped by our failure.

I've lost many many things in my life. It's very sad. I am reasonably successful. I'll be honest, I am successful now because I know what failure feels like and I am so invested in making sure that doesn't happen again. I would be wher I am without that. Perhaps you are the same way.

You do need to have an emergency meeting with your IC and really focus on accepting what is the likely outcome. Believe it or not all bad things do pass.

[This message edited by Sharkman at 5:55 AM, September 20th (Wednesday)]

I just want to say I have been following this whole story for awhile and while I do think CSCE is full of shit in some ways, some people here are going too far in their criticism.

She is remorseful. She does want to repair this. I just think she took for granted her relationship and now her pleas for reconciliation seem hollow to us and perhaps her husband.

And yeah, some of her ultra diplomatic responses are absolutely maddening to me, but she's not the terrible, disgusting monster that some triggered folks here are painting her to be.

She is a liar and a cheater. We've all made mistakes in our lives. I know some people feel that if she doesn't get the boot she's not paying for her mistakes, but I think she's going to make herself pay for the rest of her life regardless of the outcome.

[This message edited by Bishybish at 4:48 AM, September 20th (Wednesday)]

your comment about your H willingly writing you out of his life and your pain.

You wrote him out of your life. He is in more pain than you are.

I hope you never feel the pain of your spouse choosing to have an A. You chose the OM.

I do hope you and he can find a way to help lessen the pain. if i had caused that kind of pain, I would keep on trying to show my remorse to help my spouse. I do hope you keep on trying, because if it happened to you, you would want to see that you do have some value to your spouse even though they chose someone else.

Hope you and he find some peace.

CSCE -

As time has passed on your thread, I've found myself unexpectedly rooting for you. That is an extreme rarity to find me hoping it all works out for a wayward. I'll also admit, anytime I feel bad for you, I then get extremely conflicted, bc I remember everything you did, and as a former BS, I feel for your H more than I do for you.

Everything in that paragraph above that I wrote...multiply it by 1000000. That's the level of conflict that your H is going through. He loves you more than anything so of course he hates seeing you down. But at the same time, you're the one that caused him the most pain that he will ever know. He also now knows that you never loved him as much as he loved you. That's a tough pill to swallow....been there done that, it sucks more than you will ever know to come to that realization.

I really think this has been a deal-breaker for him, especially in light of the email he saw ("in another life...") and the fact that you took OM for a test ride as a H at yours and your husband's house, his castle, his place of safety.

If it is in fact the end of the line for your M, the only advice I can give is to learn from it. Grow from it. Become a better person. And I know you you don't want to hear this, but you will eventually find a new person to love. You will. And things will get better. Somehow, some way, they will get better.

[This message edited by GoldenR at 8:46 AM, September 20th (Wednesday)]