Topic is Sleeping.
harrybrown ( member #59225) posted at 1:00 AM on Monday, June 4th, 2018
Thank you.
this really helped me.
it has been a tough week.
my wife told me that her sister was coming to live with us.
So now they go out and party together.
I really did need this. Thank you.
heartbroken_kk (original poster member #22722) posted at 6:57 PM on Friday, June 15th, 2018
FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 11:43 PM on Thursday, June 28th, 2018
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
Skan ( member #35812) posted at 7:40 PM on Wednesday, July 4th, 2018
Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.
D-Day, June 10, 2012
After33years ( member #61815) posted at 6:06 PM on Thursday, July 5th, 2018
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
I needed to read this post today. The ruminating becomes unbearable at times. I will definitely try this method!
heartbroken_kk (original poster member #22722) posted at 6:10 PM on Saturday, July 14th, 2018
FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.
heartbroken_kk (original poster member #22722) posted at 8:52 PM on Monday, July 30th, 2018
FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.
ISurvived7734 ( member #60205) posted at 2:39 AM on Tuesday, July 31st, 2018
I'm happy for anyone who gets any relief from mind-movies from this. For me, it's a joke. It's what I refer to as the "Scarlet O'Hara" method of dealing with real issues. She always said "I just won't think about that today....I'll think about that tomorrow". Kicking a can down the road is just what it looks like it is: rug-sweeping and hoping the problem will magically go away.
"I always look both ways when crossing a one-way street. That's how much faith I have in humanity..."
heartbroken_kk (original poster member #22722) posted at 2:46 AM on Tuesday, July 31st, 2018
Hi ISurvived7734, you are not the first person to call this "rugsweeping", and if you want you can find my rebuttal on page 4 of this thread.
You'll note that this is not at all about not dealing with your problems in real life. It's about not having a mind that is out of control.
You can practice these techniques when you need them, while also addressing real behaviors and real problems through thoughtful, careful choices made some other time, while you are calm, rested, and not dwelling on the latest trigger.
FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 7:19 PM on Monday, August 6th, 2018
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
TheGuy123 ( member #59235) posted at 3:08 AM on Tuesday, August 7th, 2018
I can't really think of the said mention techniques as rug sweeping when it keeps me out of prison.
But;
After 7 years my old lady has made amends, but there are a few phuckers….well one... POS/DBL betrayal that's waiting for a beating!
If you folks ever see two old farts fighting...it is one of two things….a wife phucker or a parking space thief !
[This message edited by TheGuy123 at 9:09 PM, August 6th (Monday)]
Once both spouses just stop caring...anything can happen and usually does.
TheGuy123 ( member #59235) posted at 3:14 AM on Tuesday, August 7th, 2018
Ladies and gentlemen I regress....the best revenge is to live life well!
Let our moral compass lead the way!
Once both spouses just stop caring...anything can happen and usually does.
Nirvanagirl247 ( new member #65701) posted at 10:01 AM on Wednesday, August 8th, 2018
This post was great to read.
I'm really struggling with my WS having a 2 year A.
At first it was visualizing them having sex that was driving me crazy. Did he do stuff with her that he didnt with me? Was she better in bed than me?
Now I'm having a hard time coming to terms with the intimacy part if the A. Them laughing together, sharing jokes. Them cuddling on the couch....its making me crazy and im having a hard time using some of these techniques.
BS (Me) 39
WH 36
DS 11 DD 8
D Day 07/18
Together 17 yrs Married 14
You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it
heartbroken_kk (original poster member #22722) posted at 1:17 AM on Saturday, August 25th, 2018
FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.
heartbroken_kk (original poster member #22722) posted at 6:09 PM on Thursday, September 13th, 2018
bump 
FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 4:00 PM on Monday, September 24th, 2018
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
heartbroken_kk (original poster member #22722) posted at 6:58 PM on Friday, October 26th, 2018
bump for Falc
FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.
Nowandthen ( member #65900) posted at 12:51 AM on Saturday, October 27th, 2018
This is just what I needed. Thank you to the original poster and thank you to the bumper. I’ve just spent a sleepless hour running mind movies in my head. Hoping now I can sleep again.
Divorced, and living a better life.
minusone ( member #50175) posted at 1:20 AM on Sunday, December 2nd, 2018
"I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better". Maya Angelou
heartbroken_kk (original poster member #22722) posted at 9:10 PM on Friday, December 21st, 2018
Bump, forthelifeofme
FBW then 46, XWHNPDPAFTG the destroyer of my entire life. D-Day 1 '99, D-Day 2,3,4,5,6... '09-'11, D '15. I fell apart. I put myself back together. Forgiveness isn't required. I'm happy and healthy now, and MY new life is good.
Topic is Sleeping.
