InkHulk (original poster member #80400) posted at 11:40 PM on Sunday, May 24th, 2026
What’s a few weeks between friends?
Antiversary is still about a month away, but even last year I didn’t even note it until someone mentioned it to me, so I think I’m past the weight of the day. Even our old marriage anniversary passed this year and I didn’t notice it until a couple days later. I think I can safely say I’m on solid ground.
I still think of the life she obliterated and daily feel deep anger toward her. Being with my children reminds of it, I hate that she destabilized their lives. Traumatized them. Will be an emotional anchor to them for as long as she lives. I give myself permission to feel that anger, it is more than deserved.
My relationships with my children continue to flourish. My oldest son went from having a distant, contentious stance toward me to calling me his best friend. He told me he was proud of me for rebuilding myself and showing back up for them. Hard for me to imagine a greater honor.
I am in love with a wonderful woman. We fit together very well. She is a BW herself. We both have a lot of patience for each others soft spots and we both own our shit. I can see my life with her and it looks beautiful.
I’m a different person from pre D-day, no question. I’m tougher. I let myself feel anger, but I also pursue feeling joy. I reject a lukewarm life. This tested me to my utter limits, but I survived. As they say, never let a good crisis go to waste.
For those still in the excruciating pain, it gets better. Put words to your pain, let it flow out in tears and screams and any constructive means you can find. You can heal, fight for it.
People are more important than the relationships they are in.
Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 12:55 AM on Monday, May 25th, 2026
I always like a happy ending! So happy to hear you are doing well!
"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!
justsendit ( new member #84666) posted at 2:34 AM on Monday, May 25th, 2026
I read this forum regularly, a long time before I ever created an account. Your story was one of the first I came across that I followed through it's evolution and resolution. I remember the pain that came across in your posts vividly. I remember feeling so badly for you, you seemed lost.
You seem different now. Lighter. Wiser? You're a strong person. The crucible you endured did not claim you as a victim. I am so sorry you had to endure it, but I am pleased that you seem to be finding your own peace. It sounds like you are finally in the drivers seat of your own life (that's not to say that you never were, but I suspect you catch my meaning).
Your story often reminded me of my favorite Eagles song, already gone. There is a line that I have kept close to my heart, and has been relevant for one reason or another throughout my life, it reminds me of you:
"So oftentimes it happens that we live our lives in chains
And we never even know we have the key"
I wish you nothing but the best. You deserve that and more.
