Starant (original poster new member #87015) posted at 1:40 AM on Friday, February 20th, 2026
Wanting to hear your stories if your partner cheated after doing individual therapy.
BackfromtheStorm ( member #86900) posted at 5:50 AM on Friday, February 20th, 2026
Cheated no, didn’t have the time because I snapped out of ptsd so she went into trying to win me back.
Betrayal yes. She was getting into the usual pattern that leads to emotional betrayal with her boss and "friend ".
Comparing me to the other man, having his name way too often in her mouth, excitement when he called , running to the other room, speaking highly.
You know the usual…. Just friends.
Now she is awkward about with the ick just mentioning it.
I am considering it as cheating even if it is very unlikely that she slept with him, I set the score at that, safer that way knowing her. Just in case like giving a chance to heal but having the divorce papers ready.
Although she was not in therapy for her betrayal patterns but for her childhood trauma.
In fact her therapist kind of ditched her after she confessed her past serial cheating.
Not sure if it fits your inquiry
You are welcome to send me a PM if you think I can help you. I respond when I can.
Bigger ( Attaché #8354) posted at 2:31 PM on Friday, February 20th, 2026
Unlike medicine that has a high probability of curing it’s intended disease if taken, therapy has no such guarantee.
If you got penicillin to treat an infection and all you did was swallow the pill twice a day for five days, odds are the infection will go away and you heal. If you go to therapy then what the therapist might be able to do is – based on what YOU share – point out faults and mistakes and suggest tools to change. However nothing changes unless YOU do what is recommended, along with follow-ups to ensure you are doing it right and possibly adjusting your path as you go along.
If your cheating partner shares the truth with his IC, listens and adapts the recommendations to his daily life and then stick to the program... the odds of another affair are lowered.
Just be clear that this changed behavior isn’t really valid until after some time. Like it might be easy for him to be open about his social media for 10 days, but maybe not so open about it after 30 days, or 3 months, or maybe closes it to you after 3 years...
"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 3:07 PM on Friday, February 20th, 2026
Yes before, during & after.
During the 2nd affair I was convinced my H was going to therapy to validate his reasons to D me.
He was unhappy — but not unhappy until he met the OW. He had a typical midlife crisis affair BTW.
Funny how when I planned to D him and refused to R is when he took therapy and Reconciliation very seriously. Stopped lying and cheating immediately.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 12 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 5:02 PM on Friday, February 20th, 2026
My W is a CSA survivor; she's been in therapy for ages, before and after her A.
Top-notch therapist, a leader in her pretty large national organization. W hid her A from her therapist.
What support are you looking for?
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
d-day - 12/22/2010 Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
