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I'm currently going through separation with my partner of 10+ years after a DDay 2, we are still kind of "together" but in a weird limbo state right now.

Last night I had a dream that included one of my old friends from HS who I know had a crush on me. Details aside he was about to enter a life or death battle so I gave him a hug goodbye. He pulled me forward and tried to kiss me, and I pushed him back like "Dude, what the hell are you doing, I can't." I've never had a dream where I was engaging sexually with anyone other than my partner, and even now, it seems like my brain can't bring itself to even when I know this current relationship is ending.

I just thought it was kind of funny. I definitely need some sort of humor in my life right now. Anyone else have any similar experiences?

I've not had that since the separation, but had similar dreams before.

I did have a dream last night that I ran into AP, confronted her, and slapped her a bunch.

Yep, same. Even if I'm not "myself" (like maybe I live in a castle, or my kids don't make an appearance) in my dream, the idea of hooking up with someone that's not WS doesn't result in some tawdry fantasy. Instead, I just feel very confused or sick at the idea of hooking up with someone else, but don't really understand why, and I wake up just feeling sad.

I guess my subconscious feels like it's wrong, even if it can't remember why in the moment.

[This message edited by ibonnie at 4:51 PM, Thursday, March 9th]

Before d-day I had dreams of being in bed with the young Sophia Loren. I always stopped, sat up in bed and looked for my W. I remember always saying (in the dream), 'Where's my W. I'm supposed to be with my W.' After d-day, I let things happen with Sophia. I thought about an RA for only a moment IRL, but I just let myself have any sex I could get in some of my dreams. They were the few pleasant dreams I had post-d-day.

Staying faithful even in dreams seems admirable to me. Cheating in dreams - maybe not admirable, but I don't think many people would impose any penalties.

Before d-day I had dreams of being in bed with the young Sophia Loren. I always stopped, sat up in bed and looked for my W. I remember always saying (in the dream), 'Where's my W. I'm supposed to be with my W.' After d-day, I let things happen with Sophia. I thought about an RA for only a moment IRL, but I just let myself have any sex I could get in some of my dreams. They were the few pleasant dreams I had post-d-day.

Staying faithful even in dreams seems admirable to me. Cheating in dreams - maybe not admirable, but I don't think many people would impose any penalties. smile

I got a CPAP machine in October 2021 and I did not know what I had been missing out on dream-wise for years. I can absolutely attest to letting myself do my thing in dreams. Dreams have no rules and cheating in a dream is no more real than the unicorn that you ride or the scary thing you are running from in a dream (we've all had that dream I'm sure).

Staying faithful even in dreams seems admirable to me. Cheating in dreams - maybe not admirable, but I don't think many people would impose any penalties.

Oh definitely. It's a dream for heaven's sake! I don't think anyone should feel bad for having sex with someone other than their SO in a dream.

Few months ago I thought of starting a thread with the same title

In a dream I was on a business trip, met a really hot guy, he was totally into me. We agreed to go back to the hotel. However, to get to the hotel we had to pass a kind of a military obstacle course, with all sorts of booby traps. We passed the first stage together. Then I made a mistake, activated a booby trap, and suddenly 3 battle tanks blocked my way. I had to take a different, longer and scarier path. I was alone, climbing some stairs, then some "people" showed up. I realized those are not normal people, they wanted to harm me. I panicked, I started to scream for help, I was yelling: "I don't wanna play this anymore". The fence surrounding the obstacle course was right there, just a few steps away, but I couldn't reach it. Woke up in sweat, screaming.

Few months ago I thought of starting a thread with the same title grin

In a dream I was on a business trip, met a really hot guy, he was totally into me. We agreed to go back to the hotel. However, to get to the hotel we had to pass a kind of a military obstacle course, with all sorts of booby traps. We passed the first stage together. Then I made a mistake, activated a booby trap, and suddenly 3 battle tanks blocked my way. I had to take a different, longer and scarier path. I was alone, climbing some stairs, then some "people" showed up. I realized those are not normal people, they wanted to harm me. I panicked, I started to scream for help, I was yelling: "I don't wanna play this anymore". The fence surrounding the obstacle course was right there, just a few steps away, but I couldn't reach it. Woke up in sweat, screaming.

I must say, that took an unexpected turn

Sounds like a terrifying dream to be honest. Something I've worked with my IC on, my father passed away in 2018, which was some trauma that absolutely contributed to my own infidelity. I've noted to my IC that in my dreams, my dad will be there but now that he has passed, I don't recall any instances of him talking. He is of course a recurring "mute" character in my dreams, being weaved into many of them. Dreams are weird, but I've read up on the evolution of them, there is so much about the sleeping brain that we haven't learned about, but there are theories that dreams serve a very useful purpose to rebalancing the brain chemically and that the different levels of brain chemicals can really tweak dreams.

Sounds like a terrifying dream to be honest.

Yep, started great, turned into a proper nightmare. One of my first thoughts upon waking up was "Can't even cheat in my dreams, my brain just doesn't allow it"

I remember having a dream in which I cheated, thought I could not remember the details. When I woke up, I felt sick to my stomach over the thought of being with anyone but my wife. So I told her precisely what had happened and how sick it made me. I think she was in her A at the time. Now I chuckle over the irony and just how it must have made her feel.

Not me. I regularly have sex dreams about other people. Plenty with my wife too. Maybe 50/50 or so.