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Sexually humiliated

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baller20 posted 8/24/2020 16:40 PM

It's an overwhelming feeling of bitterness and grief.

The trauma and pain you get from betrayal is often worse than trauma and pain from life-threatening events and physical violence. Healing from that shit is no joke and if you already had low self-esteem before it happened it can be even harder and take more time. Choose a therapist that understands your situation - working with somebody that doesn't get it is a waste of time.

Westway posted 8/24/2020 16:50 PM

What really hurts this time is the sexual humiliation. I wasn't man enough. I have to accept that no one wants me, no one has for a long time, and it's unlikely that anyone will again after the damage of this.

Well... that is a bunch of bullshit. Who or what is putting these notions in your head?

keptmyword posted 8/25/2020 03:04 AM

What really hurts this time is the sexual humiliation. I wasn't man enough.

First of all, be assured, your wife’s affair has nothing to do with you or your marriage.

Nothing. Zero. Zilch.

Also be assured that the ONLY humiliation here is your wife’s self-induced humiliation by her selfish and childish behavior.

Not man enough, you say?

By who’s standards - your lying, backstabbing wife?

Does your wife determine the standard of who or what is “manly” or “not manly”?

No, I’d say not whatsoever.

Look, again, none of what your wife has been doing has anything to do with you so let go of all this nonsense about not being man enough or that no one will want you.

Her infidelity has NOTHING to do with you.

You will survive this.

Yes, divorce can be a shitty process but you’ll get through it and be fine on the other side.

Trust me, my ex-wife’s affair was gross and she was an inconceivable nightmare to deal with.

The pain I felt for my children was like nothing I have ever imagined.

At the time, whenever I went to sleep, I just wanted to stay asleep and never wake up so I wouldn’t have to feel the pain anymore.

You’re in the early phase of this where the pain, anguish, fear, anger, and uncertainty are very strong.

We all know how you feel right now and it’s normal and ok to feel like this.

Nothing is wrong with you.

But there is definitely something wrong with your wife for her to act like this - but that is her problem.

You feel the way you do because you are still tied up in her world of infidelity.

You need to get yourself out of her world.

Start taking steps to do so.

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