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Just don't know which forum I belong in

StormyPrincess posted 6/29/2020 21:39 PM

One full day post blocking him on social media. And what does he do? He and his gf post that they are in a relationship with each other. I know because my oldest kid called to tell me she was glad I blocked him. He hasn't told the other two kids but they will see it on facebook. What a loser. I am glad I blocked and I am trying to 'go dark'. But, I cannot lie, the pain is deep. On the verge of tears all day and moreso now that I'm home alone. I feel like all i do is come on here and whine. Please know that's not who I am all the time. I hope this pain goes away soon. It is unbearable at the moment. I'll keep trying to move on.
((hugs))
SP

h0peless posted 6/29/2020 21:59 PM

The pain is intense, it is terrible, and it is finite. I don't know how long it will take for you to work through it, but I do know that if you do it constructively, you will come out better and stronger on the other end. You're better off without such a cruel person in your life.

Hang in there!

BearlyBreathing posted 6/30/2020 00:47 AM

It sucks. No way around that. Ask your kids to not share that crap. It benefits no one.
Cry my dear princess. It hurts. But also remember that he is not a good man- they are building a fallacy on quicksand.

You WILL get through this. Keep the block up, and take care of yourself. ((Hugs))

demolishedinside posted 6/30/2020 05:31 AM

Stormy,
You are not whining. This is real shit and it hurts like hell. Unfortunately, as you know, you have to feel the pain to heal. However, what I do know, is that it gets better and easier. The more you are alone, if you allow yourself, you will find moments of joy. For example, I reveled in the fact that I no longer had to feel anxiety over where he was or that he might be doing something. In fact, any infidelity thoughts went away for me rather quickly. I found moments of peace! Imagine! After five years of trying to heal and deal with all of this.

My XWH posted about his new relationship on Facebook before we were divorced. My teenage son saw it. The fallout was real. However, Iím ok...even good. He showed me who he is again and my son knows it, too. Truly, Stormy, this is the best Iíve felt in years. I know you will get there. Just take it as it comes and absolutely come here when you feel alone...because you arenít.

Chrysalis123 posted 6/30/2020 08:24 AM

Friend, we will never tire of your posts. This is a safe place and you are smack dab in the middle of a huge traumatic experience. Vent away, ask questions, cry, grow, get stronger, and ultimately survive infidelity.

ThisIsSoLonely posted 6/30/2020 12:55 PM

Your story looks similar to mine (timeline I mean - 2+ year affair with co-worker etc) except that you are divorced and out on your own (as opposed to IHC like I am). I don't know how far out you are from the D, but I can tell you a year out has done a world of difference for me. This too shall pass - I promise.

The1stWife posted 7/1/2020 01:37 AM

Iím sorry your H is and was an insensitive jerk.

Please know that so spells will make every effort to have people believe they are happy when they are not. Thatís why FakeBook is so popular. You can pretend to be anything on social media.

You will survive this. We all do. It hurts and knocks you back but you will heal. Hang in there.

betrayedafter20 posted 7/1/2020 15:33 PM

((StormyPrincess))

I am so sorry you had to learn of that. And I really, really understand - I think social media makes these things even more traumatic - because its many more opportunities for hurtful behavior and triggers.

My WH "likes" everything on FAP's page. I would write nice things about him the last few years and then he wouldn't comment and he would get irritated with me if I asked him why "I'm not active on there" yet he was practically stalking OW... Just last week I had a complete overhaul on my hair - 78 likes - and WH nowhere to be found. two weeks before that he was on OW's instagram "liking" her new hair color within an hour of her post. What a jerk.

Whine away. I get you - I feel silly taking something on social media personally - but how can we not? it's intentionally selfish and insensitive and they are just HURTFUL.

You're doing fine and it's okay to be sad sometimes.

I agree with BearlyBreathing - ask your kids not to share stuff that is not constructive. It will just trigger you and point you in the direction of "pain shopping" I know because I'm famous for it. It's been about three months now and I'm able to divert myself away from the thought if i finding myself wanting to lurk...

Hedwig posted 7/1/2020 15:49 PM

StormyPrincess, you can come here as much as you want and post as often as you want. I know the feeling of thinking I'm too whiny, I think that usually means we've been too strong for too long, like Mary J Blige sings!

There will always be people here who support you and respond to you. You're doing great!

OwningItNow posted 7/1/2020 16:59 PM

I am so sorry. Aren't you relieved and happy not to be stuck with some dipshit who is so lacking in empathy and basic human decency that he would post something devastating to his children on social media before even telling them?????!!!!! Ick. What a horrible quality! That horrible quality will bite OW in her nasty ass soon enough; when you don't have empathy, you don't have it for anyone.

Your future partner will never do something boneheaded like that, StormyPrincess, because he will be an amazing person and kind man!

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