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When an Affair is not an Affair

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ForeverGrey posted 6/15/2019 22:08 PM

Marie, I have been in therapy for years and we are not having sex. Have not been in over a year. Yes, agreed! I have been wasting my time not packing his bags!

cocoplus5nuts posted 6/16/2019 07:55 AM

Now he is in "Well, I am just horrible" behavior

A narcissist would never say this! They are never wrong or bad. They will play the victim, though.

Antisocial personality disorder is just as serious, if not more so. It cannot be cured. They are good at pretending to care, but they don't. They can't.

StillLivin posted 6/16/2019 12:30 PM

Good, I'm glad you are in therapy. When I couldn't see the emotional abuse for what it was, my son said something profound to me that really helped me get perspective until I had a chance to work on my own self worth. I hope this helps you. He said, "Mom, treat yourself the way you would treat me in a messed up situation. Pretend you love yourself the way you love me. If you wouldn't allow me to tolerate something, then dont allow yourself either."
Everytime Xhole said something passive aggressive or just plain shitty to me, I remembered my son's advice. If I would have went all Mama Bear on him for him, then you're damned skippy I did it for me. It took a while for me to refuse to be mistreated for just my own sake. But until I could do that on my own for my own self worth, I took my son's advice.
Also, post in D/S. A lot of those folks have gone through what you are going through and have successful navigated separation and divorce because of abuse, not just infidelity.

[This message edited by StillLivin at 12:31 PM, June 16th (Sunday)]

ForeverGrey posted 6/16/2019 12:36 PM

Please read my new post about Narcissist. This applies to all Cluster B personality. Which he is diagnosed ASPD and I just KNOW him to be a PACN.

ForeverGrey posted 6/16/2019 12:40 PM

Wow! What a beautiful and insightful boy you have! Thank you so much for your advice and kind words. That lifted my heart and helps to keep me going in the right path. He is like a toilet I have been trying to climb out of..but he keeps flushing. But this community has really been helping me get further out the bowl! Lol ((hugs))

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