It's cliche but very much true: Quietly & safely leaving - preferably ghosting - a lying cheating partner - really IS the BEST "revenge."
Living *our* lives the BEST that *we* know how & leaving the cheater really is the absolute BEST "revenge" there is.
I absolutely LOVE how just how truly awful the by then ex & his equally married ow ended & I equally love how in absolutely ZERO way, shape &or form, whatsoever, that xh could possibly remotely blame *me.*
Sometimes karma snakes up on our exs on little cat feet.
Other times karma nips at their heels & quietly gnaws at their lives.
Other times the Karma Bus either sideswipes or outright hits our exs head-on.
And other times karma comes to our exs AND their cheating partner(s) in a mushroom cloud of atomic bomb proportions.
This is exactly what happened within just a few short months of my wh running away with & literally abandoning me & our marriage, for his around 25 yr old equally married ninth grade dropout septum pierced heffalump:
Ow absolutely KNEW that wh was married & pursued him regardless; even going so far as telling wh that, quote, he "...DIDN'T have to work if he DIDN'T WANT TO..."
This considerably younger meth addled wackadoodle ow was so desperate & point blank, so dick thirsty for my [then] husband that an extremely reliable info source shared this nauseating little tidbit of information with me around the time in mid 2013 that I was shown & printed off 5+ pages of court documents relating to ex's three felony child abuse charges & convictions.
Even 8 yrs onward sometimes I still struggle with knowing that my husband of almost 14 yrs casually threw me away for someone that he'd secretly fucked off & on for ?around four yrs.
Wh met & hooked up with one of the local town bicycles & when wh learned that ow had money &or nearly unlimited access to family money..that's pretty much when & where my presence, need & want in my own husband's life became redundant.
I still think ex saw ow as an ATM disguised as a morbidly obese warm hole.
It absolutely broke my heart to be be literally abandoned by my husband without a single backwards glance.
I mean, not even 3 1/2 weeks shy of 14 yrs of good, bad & ugly relationship & marriage history together...completely gone...within a matter of just a few weeks time...& all bc this ow told my husband the magic words that he didn't have to work if he didn't want to.
HOW, exactly, was this supposed to work out, considering ow had a preteen daughter AND was heavily pregnant with twins AND by her equally married boyfriend in addition to working whatever job(s) ow had &or could weedle yet MORE money from family & relatives?!?
Though the outcome of exs & ow's "relationship" ended in a horrific, made for Maury or Stevie Wilkos show kind of way, I absolutely LOVE that *I* had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WHATSOEVER to do with it & it still has the power to shock & sadden me to such a dark hurtful place to know that my by then ex husband happily destroyed our marriage for some piece of shit young woman who, according to Dane County, Wisconsin police AND court documents, freely & happily stayed involved, living with AND fucking her "soulmate" through not just one or hell, even two but three, repeat THREE separate instances AND charges of FELONY INTENTIONAL child abuse!
It still has the ability to make my head feel like it's gently spinning to read these court documents that basically say that the ONLY real reason that ex's & ow's "relationship" ended was bc xh was arrested & hauled off to jail & NOT bc ex was found responsible for AND guilty of hitting & physically abusing their 2-5 MONTHS old boy & girl babies!
This vile ow happily helped my husband detonate an emotional & financial atomic bomb right over our already shaky marriage in addition to ow thoughtlessly lobbing an emotional hand grenade into the life of her precocious 11 yr old daughter & all for what - a few months of non stop fucking & likely alcohol & drug abuse.
That ow was able to keep shared custody of & rights to her now almost 18 yr old daughter is nothing short of miraculous.
Aside from a single 12 minute 58 seconds long late night phone call from ex sometime in early 2013 & a brief seconds long sighting of ex in the 2 football fields sized parking lot of a chain grocery store's parking lot almost 2 yrs ago, I'm all but clueless about ex.
As for this specific ow, for having had her twin babies physically confiscated & then freely giving up & having her parental rights to her/their babies TERMINATED, from all discernible indications, ow's life looks pretty damn good; sweet even - as ow has once & again moved around, job AND bed-hopped & has supposedly been "engaged" to her "fiance" for 2+ yrs now.
Ow is still very much on facebook, Instagram, SnapChat, tumblr & several other social media/pic sharing sites & nothing, repeat, literally N-O-T-H-I-N-G - WHATSOEVER - about neither her then equally married boyfriend NOR the twin babies that ow DELIBERATELY became pregnant with.
Nothing. Not even an older family pic with the twin babies somewhere in the background.
Ow happily helped my then husband to destroy at least two marriages as well as connive thousands of dollars from both loved ones as well as taxpayers.
These cheating lowlifes get to basically live on Easy Street life-wise for several months & even after ex was sentenced to a mere 4 yrs work release - for 3 separate FELONY child abuse charges - life seems back to being pretty much sunshine & roses for these two cheaters.
Sure, "karma" got both my [ex] husband AND the disgusting ow...but now it's like NOTHING EVER happened.
I mean, xh was sentenced to 4 years WORK RELEASE - for THREE felony charges of INTENTIONAL child abuse against his & ow's 2-5 MONTHS OLD twin babies.
In WHAT world does this even remotely make sense other than xh being so personality disordered that he was/is able to utterly bullshit the District Attorney, the judge & Dane County, WI justice system?!?
I guess it could/can be argued that ex's AND ow's "karma" is knowing AND having to live literally the rest of their lives irrefutably knowing what they selfishly did to so many individuals lives; all so they could live a few short months like hormone & drug addled magically responsibility free teenagers.
Idk.
By now, I'm probably just rambling & letting the mild Irish coffee I made earlier loosen my thoughts.
*My* "revenge" has been picking up the emotional & financial pieces as best I could & continue forward in life & choosing to never look back.
During the late night phone call that goes down in infamy as ex's last attempt to sniff around/hoover me, I remember respectfully but firmly telling xh that he would NEVER have NOR get the opportunity EVER AGAIN to hurt me as deeply as he did & that the ship known as "Reconciliation" PERMANENTLY set sail when he told himself that it was okay & acceptable to incessantly lie to, belittle & gas light & then ultimately & quite literally ABANDON our almost 14 yrs marriage for the ugly troll who happily helped him destroy so many peoples lives.
I told xh that HE made it in ZERO uncertain crystal clear ways how he felt about marriage, me & our marriage & around 2 yrs onward, if ex thought that *I* was going to sit around, pine AND carry a torch for *him* *after* 4 or so yrs of his PTSD inducing behavior & frequent horrific door slamming outbursts, no..*I* was 100% physically AND emotionally *DONE* with him.
Ex's last words to me were that he'd "keep in touch" with me...with me physically falling back asleep towards the end of the conversation.
I can still hear xh talking but in my head his words were muted like the teacher & other adults in the Peanuts comics, where Charlie Brown would say something & all you heard in reply was a muffled "mwa mwa mwa" sound.
I could hear ex talking, *still* rambling on & all I said was "Yeah yeah yeah. Whatever."
I then pushed the red END button & immediately fell blissfully back to sleep.
I haven't heard a peep from xh since & that was sometime in spring 2013.
Friends & lurkers, it really IS perfectly okay & acceptable to emotionally detach from & quietly ghost a remorseless cheater.
It doesn't matter if you were married or only dating.
It doesn't matter your sexual orientation/preference.
It doesn't matter if the ws is filthy rich or flips burgers or hustles on the side or is flat-out down on their luck broke.
NOTHING ELSE MATTERS except quietly getting your emotional, legal & financial ducks in a row & getting any minor children &or fur babies in your care, just as safely, quietly & quickly as far as possibly AWAY FROM such a cheater - bc life & whatever constitutes "karma" absolutely WILL sift these remorseless cheaters AND their partners out like used cat litter.
It's NOT a matter of "if" karma will..but *WHEN.*
We the betrayed may NEVER know & to some, depending on their spiritual beliefs, this might sound goofy.
But, rest assured, as *I* have discovered & learned, life & time have ways of catching up to & with individuals just like my ex & ow.
Knowing what I now know, I guess it can be said that this is probably some of the best "revenge" out there.
Just live your life how you know how & live it to the best of your abilities & let life & time sort out your ex AND their cheating partner(s).
I forget who said it but "Diamonds aren't a girl's best friend - FREEDOM IS!"
PS: I really genuinely DON'T "gloat" NOR get any real sense of "satisfaction" in reading & knowing just how fucked up neither my ex nor ow STILL is.
I DO get satisfaction from knowing that ex will NEVER get to hurt me so selfishly,viciously or deeply...as long as I live.
*THAT* ex can take to the bank. Put in his pipe & smoke it or whatever/however he chooses to take it.
"Revenge" is sweeter & BEST when we, the betrayed partner, quietly, quickly & safely PERMANENTLY extricate ourselves from these monsters.
Whether they realize it or not or even care, our waywards & exs have to - MUST - live with themselves.
To me, this has to be some of the richest & BEST "revenge" known.
For me, some days & nights are infinitely worse than others but dammit, I'm still here alive & that's *my* focus.
I truly wish I could go down a big long line & give everyone here a well deserved ((hug)).
I've been repeatedly told that I hug like an old warrior.
Truth be told, I kind of am. And treat others no less accordingly.
Here's to healing, light & some semblance of normalcy & happiness, 1ptsdsurvivor71