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Betrayed Menz Thread-Part 33

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SaddestDad posted 2/28/2019 14:58 PM

Silly question... what exactly is the purpose of this thread? Not really understanding, just meandering and exploring the vastness of the SI forum.

Cephastion posted 2/28/2019 17:31 PM

Silly question... what exactly is the purpose of this thread? Not really understanding, just meandering and exploring the vastness of the SI forum.

This thread is a betrayed-husbands (aka "Menz") only support thread and carries more of a man-cave or fireside mentality and feel with less formality and mere information exchange and more camraderie and support without undue interference input or otherwise allowed from the other side (women, that is).

That's MY take on it at least. It's been relatively quiet on here for a while lately but don't let that slow you down any. I think that actually the lack of a specifically stated "purpose" is kinda the point and purpose of this thread other than the parameters I just mentioned.

I can explain a little more but for now I'be got supper waiting on me at the table...

Dig in and post away SaddestDad.

steadychevy posted 2/28/2019 19:09 PM

Stolenyears, I walked my youngest daughter up a winding staircase to her wedding ceremony after DDay, before daughters knew and before separation. Very bitter sweet.

ETA: I actually used to really like weddings.

[This message edited by steadychevy at 7:59 PM, February 28th (Thursday)]

SaddestDad posted 3/1/2019 14:56 PM

This thread is a betrayed-husbands (aka "Menz") only support thread and carries more of a man-cave or fireside mentality and feel with less formality and mere information exchange and more camraderie and support without undue interference input or otherwise allowed from the other side (women, that is).

Sounds good to me. Nice to have a bro-space. To any and all reading, feel free to check out my main thread in JFO. I don't want to go through the frustrations of rewriting my story again, especially as I'm still going through it.
Tomorrow, I plan to have 3 double shots of Glenmorangue Quinta Ruban.

I unplug from Friday sundown till Saturday sundown, but I'll try to make it a point to update myself daily over here.

Trying to keep strong. Keeping strong is pretty fuckin' hard when I'm still in the shitter.

nofeelings posted 3/1/2019 15:40 PM

SaddestDad,

Sorry this happened to you. Hold on tight - this is gonna suck for long time. I wanted to R like you do now, so I went with it - and my WW looked like she will put work into rebuilding our M. Until it all went back to "normal" after a year or so. 8 years later its obvious it will never be over - her EAs that will eventually turn into PAs, blaming someone else for problems that she did not want to address and the rest of the typical WW BS.Fear of unknown is mind killer, but think about it many many times - is unknown so much worse than living the rest of your life looking over your shoulder? Because that what I did for last 8 years, and its no way to live. Its better to live in the van down by the river than with someone you can't trust anymore. One final advice - dont trust yourself today, or even 6 month later - you are not in your right mind and you need a lot of time and work with IC and by yourself to get out of this mess.

Cephastion posted 3/2/2019 10:59 AM

but think about it many many times - is unknown so much worse than living the rest of your life looking over your shoulder? Because that what I did for last 8 years, and its no way to live. Its better to live in the van down by the river than with someone you can't trust anymore.

My fWW has been faithful for the last 23 years out of the 26 we've been married. I haven't had this problem for the most part since about this time of year in 1996.

But I have to admit that it is better to live with lonliness that is known than with paralyzing or crippling fear along with unknowns and inability to protect yourself emotionally.

Notthevictem posted 3/2/2019 15:19 PM

This thread is a betrayed-husbands (aka "Menz") only support thread and carries more of a man-cave or fireside mentality and feel with less formality and mere information exchange and more camraderie and support without undue interference input or otherwise allowed from the other side (women, that is).

Ya forgot about the smell...

Cephastion posted 3/2/2019 16:41 PM

Ya forgot about the smell...--NTV


Dude! What the cuss do you think we keep that fire always going for? Even in summer, man!

carries more of a man-cave or fireside mentality and feel

Which is why I'm always sitting right near it anytime you're around!

[This message edited by Cephastion at 4:44 PM, March 2nd (Saturday)]

Notthevictem posted 3/4/2019 06:24 AM

Well, it's Monday. Wish I could get paid to do whatever the hell I wanted.

Jduff posted 3/4/2019 09:03 AM

You actually could. It just may not be in the currency you expect....like peanuts.

WornDown posted 3/4/2019 11:21 AM

Trying to keep strong. Keeping strong is pretty fuckin' hard when I'm still in the shitter.

Welcome to the clubhouse SaddestDad.

Yeah, it's hard to stay strong, but there's really no alternative - just keep putting one foot in front of the other (see my sig about keep going).

I found/have found the Menz Only dept very helpful at times. There have been times and situations that I just did not get the support I NEEDED from the general forums (JFO, Divorce/Separation, New Beginnings) just because the women just did not understand what I was going through as a man.

It's a bit hard to explain without sounding sexist, but I think every guy has run into that. Maybe a little less so these days as there are more men on SI in general than a decade ago, but still.

We're here, and we get it. Welcome aboard.

(Btw - newbies bring beer, but that whisky is fine...)

[This message edited by WornDown at 11:23 AM, March 4th (Monday)]

Notthevictem posted 3/4/2019 12:05 PM

Yeah, I guess I don't normally expect peanuts unless I'm on a plane or something.

Ripped62 posted 3/4/2019 12:30 PM

SaddestDad,

I do not post in this forum often. I see you are a scotch drinker. I think Sisoon enjoys scotch as well.

Please remember to not allow the alcohol to bleed over into the pain and subsequent action. Take care of yourself. When early on logic and reason were not part of my repertoire.

I think they (logic and reason) still at times are not part of it.

nofeelings posted 3/5/2019 09:46 AM

I was looking at kirklands speyside 20 year old single malt scotch, but caved in and bought japanese suntori whiskey instead. I regret it now - should have went with scotch.

SaddestDad posted 3/6/2019 11:43 AM

Thanks guys, I appreciate it.
Single malt scotch is definitely my go-to for enjoying. For getting trashed, I go for Knob Creek 120 proof (in a heavyweight, always was).

That said, KIRKLAND Scotch??
That is some S&M shit right there

I'm not really letting myself self medicate. It's odd though, on Monday evening, I smoked weed for the first time in years. Only 1 hit but got me wrecked for hours. I bring this up only because I was actually able to finally calm my nerves & my stomach has been feeling better ever since! I have IBS... I'm REALLY hoping that weed is not the "cure" I've been looking for.
Sex lasted for about 2 HOURS of some of the best sex I've ever had after we smoked though... (her first time trying).

I know clouding my mind now is the dumbest shit I could do but if I'm finally sleeping, eating & banging, is that really so bad?

tbkjcn posted 3/7/2019 09:27 AM

OK, so I'm not a beer snob, I enjoy a beer from time to time. I'm not a whiskey snob, I enjoy a mixed drink from time to time (usually on vacation). But a couple of friends have decided that our spring "adventure" to celebrate getting the convertibles out of winter storage is going to be a 4-day trip to Kentucky next month to tour a bunch of distilleries. I'm a bit torn as I'm not into whiskey as much as the one guy is, but I could see it as an interesting get away. Usually our trips are either driving-related or photography-related and a little bit more "local," and I'm not sure how much of either would be involved. It'll be interstate all the way down and back and not a lot of places for top-down cruising down twisty roads (having the top down at 80mph for 5 hours or so on the interstate isn't a whole lot of fun most of the time ). Plus the cost. They've chosen a slightly expensive hotel for four days and while its not going to break my bank, I've definitely been trying to keep expenses under control lately, but total cost should be under a grand.

So.... since there seems to be so much expertise here of late regarding distilled spirits, what do you all think? Should I go and get away from work for a few days? Would it be interesting for someone who doesn't live and die by what bottles are on my shelf?

nofeelings posted 3/7/2019 12:24 PM

I like beer, bourbon, scotch, tequila even wine. But as far as tasting - hard liquor after first drink all kind of taste the same - I dont really taste much difference between different kinds of whiskeys for example. Now, for me its not about drinks - its about company, so I would pretty much go on any kind of trip and make it fun.But if there was a choice, I most probably would get a cabin in Smokey Mountains, go on some trails and have a beer or two in the evening with good company.
Kirkland is just rebranded stuff with lower price - scotch is rumored to be Macallan, and $60 for 20 year Macallan scotch is a steal.

Notthevictem posted 3/7/2019 14:49 PM

Me personally, I'd be looking for somewhere with a lazy river. There's probably tubing places close by where you're going and a few hours floating down a river is one of the best escapes I've ever experienced.

SaddestDad posted 3/12/2019 10:44 AM

after first drink all kind of taste the same - I dont really taste much difference between different kinds of whiskeys

I've got a VERY strong sense of taste and smell so I do taste all the different nuances. I'm not a booze-snob but I can't drink the cheaper stuff. Wish I could - I'd be rich! Lol


...lazy river.

Is it literally a river that doesn't have rapids?

sisoon posted 3/12/2019 17:52 PM

One of the most satisfying bottles I've ever tasted was something sold as Scotch ... on the bottle it said, in large letters, 'Product of Scotland,' and in very, very small letters, it said 'Product of Okinawa.' No lie.

Marlon Brando was alive at the time, but he was 1000s of miles away. Same for the cast of Mr Roberts.

Just about everyone who tasted it said it seemed like a single-malt. We all laughed when we got a good look at the bottle.

1971, not all that far from a hot war....

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