Shemyaza (original poster new member #87277) posted at 3:02 PM on Thursday, April 23rd, 2026
This is so absolutely awful. I hate that I even have to join a group. I hate thinking about it talking about it and feeling these feelings. I way to cry scream yell and cry some more. I hate this and I hate having to heal alone because she just thinks it will go away if we don’t get help I guess I dii ok t know. Shes just out here living and enjoying life and I’m now in hell for her sin. Seems a bit…. Can I even curse here. Whatever. You know what I’m saying. I have no one to all to. Can’t tell anyone she did this. I can’t risk my kids ever finding out. They don’t deserve to hear that shit. Or carry it. I need someone to talk to. Anyone. I’m going insane over this. I love her. I hate her. I want her. I’m repulsed by her. Arrrghhh. Is about the most sane thing I can say about it all. Just. Plain. Argh. Help. Help? HELP! please.
Go in peace. Live in love. Find your smiles
Unhinged ( member #47977) posted at 3:45 PM on Thursday, April 23rd, 2026
Hello Shemyaza. Welcome to the greatest club that no one ever wanted to join. I'm sorry you've had to find us here.
For most people, the betrayal of infidelity is a profound shock and a severe emotional and psychological trauma. While it may feel as if your world is completely shattered, know that you can and will get through the shitstorm.
To help get you started on the road to recovery and healing, I highly recommend that you read the threads pinned to the top of the "Just Found Out" forum:
The Tactical Primer &
Newbies...Important Information - Please Read
We also have The Healing Library. You'll find a link in the pull-down menu at the top of the page. Inside the "Articles" section you'll find a wealth of excellent essays written by veteran SI members.
When you are ready, feel free to tell us about your situation. It's easier to offer advice and guidance based on specific information.
In the meantime, focus on taking care of yourself. You're still in shock and it's going to take a while for it to wear off.
Married 2005
D-Day April, 2015
Divorced May, 2022
"The Universe is not short on wake-up calls. We're just quick to hit the snooze button." -Brene Brown
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 4:32 PM on Thursday, April 23rd, 2026
And you're not alone. Many of us could have written your post, though not many could be so eloquent.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
d-day - 12/22/2010 Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
3yrsout ( member #50552) posted at 5:19 PM on Thursday, April 23rd, 2026
This might give you a moment to smile- it makes me smile.
When I found out my WH of 13 years cheated with a 20 yr old, I told him that he better answer the phone for the rest of his life. (This dates me, because it was before cell phones, lol) Because if I intercepted his mother I would tell her everything.
I made him call his mother and tell her. She’s Catholic. It was great.
Didn’t change his shitty behavior, but it was still fun hearing him tell her.
I’m sorry you’re here. Selfish people suck. I’m sorry you have to hide the hemorrhage that is your spouse stabbing you in your wedding vows around your kids.
It sucks. All of it sucks.
BackfromtheStorm ( member #86900) posted at 5:34 PM on Thursday, April 23rd, 2026
Yes.
And at the right time every one should know just who she is. And seeing herself in your children eyes will haunt her forever.
Now you only need to be heard.
You can tell here to who understands.
You will raise and she will fade.
Sounds impossible now but give it time.
You are welcome to send me a PM if you think I can help you. I respond when I can.
