AdLarue17 (original poster member #84917) posted at 1:43 PM on Sunday, March 23rd, 2025
Thanks to social media’s algorithms, my feed is full of ads for courses and coaches that promise to save my marriages. Like Marriage Helper, and the relatio app, and this infidelity coach etc. Any one try one of these and have success? Or are they just scams to get money preying on sad souses who just want their happy marriage back??
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 3:26 PM on Sunday, March 23rd, 2025
Gee, I get ads for things I've just bought....
I mistrust all social media ads. I am sure some of the stuff is good, but I doubt my ability to distinguish the good from the bad.
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
Formerpeopleperson ( member #85478) posted at 3:33 PM on Sunday, March 23rd, 2025
Those products are aimed at the widest possible audience.
Trying to satisfy everybody often satisfies nobody.
Maybe you can find some reviews to read.
It’s never too late to live happily ever after
Superesse ( member #60731) posted at 3:37 PM on Sunday, March 23rd, 2025
Can't generalize, but one "selling point" those sites share is that the betrayed spouse can single-handedly take some action to "fix" what the other spouse broke. Whereas the hard truth is more like: the necessary change needs to begin with the wayward spouse.
And that is something I really appreciate the SI community having taught me. In my experience as a BW, I fought for too many years against the obvious: that "I didn't cause it, I can't control it, and I can't cure it." (Al-Anon)
Edited to add that I just had a lightbulb moment regarding the old Al-Anon saying which I never actually understood even before right NOW! 🤩
It is telling us that our marriage up to the point of their choice to cheat did NOT CAUSE cheating;
It is telling us that at this point, we cannot by ourselves determine how the relationship will recover;
It is telling us that going forward, we cannot by ourselves fix the marriage.
Past, present, future.
[This message edited by Superesse at 4:04 PM, Sunday, March 23rd]
Unhinged ( member #47977) posted at 8:53 PM on Monday, March 24th, 2025
Hmm... social media ads selling life hacks...
If it's on the internet it must be true, right?
Married 2005
D-Day April, 2015
Divorced May, 2022
"The Universe is not short on wake-up calls. We're just quick to hit the snooze button." -Brene Brown
BluerThanBlue ( member #74855) posted at 9:07 PM on Monday, March 24th, 2025
If your WH isn't willing to do the work, there's nothing you can do single-handedly to save your marriage.
The money and time you would spend on these programs, apps, or coaches to save your marriage would be better spent on trying to save yourself.
BW, 40s
Divorced WH in 2015; now happily remarried
I edit my comments a lot for spelling, grammar, typos, etc.
