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For those of you that have young adult children, how would you feel if someone you considered a close friend, got involved, including sexually, with your grandchild’s other parent? Would you feel that that is disrespectful of the relationship your "close friend" has with you?

I have young adult children, and I would be upset if someone I considered a close friend did that.

In this situation, it is a man that got involved with a woman that has been in a relationship with his close friend’s son for a couple of years, and the son and the woman have a baby together, that was less than a year old when the "friend" started a sexual relationship with her. The son and his girlfriend were not on good terms at the time, but not completely separated when the parent’s "friend" started the relationship with the baby’s Mother. But even if they were broken up for good, and hated each other, I think it is still icky for a man to have a sexual relationship with the mother of his "close friend’s" grandchild.

Would you want to know this about somebody you consider a close "friend" if they were involved with, and having sex with your grandchild’s other parent? Would you have a problem with it? And if you knew both of the "friends", and that this was going on, would you tell the parent with the grandchild, what their close "friend" was doing with their child’s SO?

We had a good friend / neighbor that is married but her H is gone on business a lot. She is really flirting with the slippery slope and my W has warned her to not seek attention outside her M.

One night she was drunk and made a post on Tik Tok in her bed with her cleavage hanging out. In the comments she tagged our grown Son "Are you down?" My W was pissed, confronted her, and we haven’t spoken since.

..just be very careful who you deem to be your 'friends"

smy

Tanner, I would’ve reacted the same way your wife did.

I think I may have left it out of the first post, but this guy is married also.

IMO, he needs to be exposed because he's married.

Also, if I was friends with you and you didn't tell me that my other friend was doing this, I'd be mad.

I admit that I have read and then left this topic a couple of times...
I generally think people should keep out of others personal lives, and I hate making decisions based on assumptions.
But here goes...

Since we are talking close personal friends I’m assuming the man is closer to you in age PrettyLies.
Since we are talking about young adult "children" I’m assuming they are in their early 20’s.
Since close friends I’m also assuming he was aware of the volatile relationship between her and your son, and it’s on-off properties.

Now – If your son’s on-off GF and the mother of his child are separated (I don’t really understand "not completely separated") then she can date and hang out with anyone she wants. It would definitely help every stakeholder if they were clear on their relationship-status, but that’s another issue altogether.
IMHO it would indicate an immaturity and thoughtlessness on HER behalf to be having a relationship with someone when the status of her old relationship is unclear. But we can attribute that to young age and possibly a difficult and traumatic past-relationship. Stupid yes, but she’s allowed to be stupid.

The man... the friend...
Anything I might use to try to explain or justify his actions is made void by him being married...

But assuming he wasn’t...
Then I would think the age difference, the knowledge of the relationship she was/is in and the friendship and confidentiality it should offer should be enough to keep him away from her.

Personally – I would let his wife know and I would let him know that you think this action is totally unacceptable. If that costs you their friendship and even the mom of your grandkids anger... so be it.
Had he not been married I guess I would have suggested the same – sans the talk to the wife part.

On a side note: Morals are what you set for yourself. One of my wife’s best friends has a daughter whom I have known from birth. When she was about 18 she started posting provocative pictures on social media. Nothing dirty, but a lot of cleavage, pouting lips and postures. Pics that might be OK for the boys she was flirting with or her age-group or whatever – but for ME definitely not for the family-friend who had been around her since birth. I removed her from my social-media. Funny thing is that about a week later my wife mentioned that she thought the pics were inappropriate and was pleasantly surprised when I shared what I had done.

My kids aren't close to being young adults yet, but I can tell you that if one my friends were screwing around with my daughter-in-law (legally married or not), I would be apoplectic-- both at the friend and anyone I considered a friend who knew about it and didn't tell me.

If it's a serious relationship, I would be pissed because my friend could potentially end up as my grandchild's step-parent, which would seriously complicate both our friendship and family dynamics going forward.

But if it's just a casual sex arrangement (which is the case here) I would feel even more betrayed that someone I was close to would choose my son's ex/grandchild's mother out of all the people in the universe with whom to get his rocks off.

So if this person who is in the dark is someone you care about, you owe it to them to tell them what's going on.

[This message edited by BluerThanBlue at 3:59 PM, Friday, March 21st]

Tanner:

One night she was drunk and made a post on Tik Tok in her bed with her cleavage hanging out. In the comments she tagged our grown Son "Are you down?" My W was pissed, confronted her, and we haven’t spoken since.

Your wife is a better person than I am. My husband would've had to stop me from driving to her house and mopping the sidewalk with her face.

Your wife is a better person than I am. My husband would've had to stop me from driving to her house and mopping the sidewalk with her face.

LOL! Our Son asked her not to do anything else about it because she was embarrassed. She revealed herself as a snake and since we have cut her out of our lives, rumor is she is on Only Fans. Don't get me started on how I feel about that choice.