hardyfool (original poster member #83133) posted at 2:46 AM on Tuesday, July 16th, 2024
Well, she is back...here we go again. The last two weeks multiple attempts at communication including using new cell phone numbers (I silenced her numbers and emails a long time ago).
I really wish she would find a new hobby, guy, girl or a turnip at this point.
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 6:20 AM on Tuesday, July 16th, 2024
So sorry, hardyfool. It's hard to believe that she'd try to contact you still.
Do you think it's time for a RO?
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 5:59 PM on Tuesday, July 16th, 2024
Threat of a RO stopped my xWS from contacting me over and over again.
fBS/fWS(me):51 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(21) DS(18)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorced 8/8/24
BluerThanBlue ( member #74855) posted at 6:34 PM on Tuesday, July 16th, 2024
If you're not ready to go the RO route, then you at least need to send her a cease and desist letter as a starting point.
BW, 40s
Divorced WH in 2015; now happily remarried
I edit my comments a lot for spelling, grammar, typos, etc.
HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 7:05 PM on Tuesday, July 16th, 2024
Have your attorney send her an official NC letter..one that says if she tries to contact you,in any form, legal action will be taken.
But you are what you did
And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive
The smallest man who ever lived..
BluerThanBlue ( member #74855) posted at 7:45 PM on Tuesday, July 16th, 2024
I just came back to this thread with a comment from one of your previous threads, which still applies here:
hardyfool, I'm really not trying to be an alarmist, but I disagree with you that you have nothing to worry about. You might think that things are improving over time and that you're "running out the clock" with her, but based on my experience (and the experience of those close to me) dealing with obsessive, stalker exes, it's more likely that she thinks she can run out your clock.
As I said in that thread, if the sexes in this situation were reversed, you would frightened right now... or at least be taking you ex's obsessive, unrelenting behavior a lot more seriously.
BW, 40s
Divorced WH in 2015; now happily remarried
I edit my comments a lot for spelling, grammar, typos, etc.
hardyfool (original poster member #83133) posted at 9:34 PM on Tuesday, July 16th, 2024
The trigger for my posting had to do with her actually reaching out on the new web development platform AI. I cannot even imagine how she found it as it is hidden, messages are "finding out if you're ok" and "I've been dreaming about you, which I have not done in years", "is it possible to speak with XXXX" etc...etc...etc....etc....it just seems so darn stupid.
After typing that out, I have to admit to seeing I do appreciate the concern and I am considering the perspective. I just don't get it, I'm not that interesting (one of her complaints if I recall well) she isn't ugly go find a new companion (its not like she hasn't done that before).
I am a bit of distance away from her, as I bought new company a few states away and a house up here. So proximity is not a serious concern.
Wonder if an investment in a wine club and few cats for her would be better than lawyer letters. 
SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 10:50 PM on Tuesday, July 16th, 2024
I'd remain 100% grey rock with her and not give her any sort of response. She's on a fishing expedition and she's more likely to move on to a new fishin' hole if the fish aren't taking the bait.
And I'd install a security system, if you haven't already. One just never knows...
Remove the "I want you to like me" sticker from your forehead and place it on the mirror, where it belongs. ~ Susan Jeffers
Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.
BluerThanBlue ( member #74855) posted at 11:43 AM on Wednesday, July 17th, 2024
This has been going on for too long now. If it was simply a matter of her getting frustrated and losing interest, that would’ve happened already.
BW, 40s
Divorced WH in 2015; now happily remarried
I edit my comments a lot for spelling, grammar, typos, etc.
OhItsYou ( member #84125) posted at 2:55 PM on Wednesday, July 17th, 2024
FedEx ship her farm animals. That’ll keep her busy for awhile?
SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 6:06 PM on Wednesday, July 17th, 2024
This has been going on for too long now. If it was simply a matter of her getting frustrated and losing interest, that would’ve happened already.
I did a little Googling on this yesterday, simply because I was curious, and I don't think she's doing anything illegal (she's not attacking or threatening or slandering) so a cease-and-desist letter might not be an option. Of course, an attorney would obviously know and have better advice, so it's a good idea to consult with one.
If threats of getting an attorney involved are indeed empty, the next best thing is to not give her a payoff.
Remove the "I want you to like me" sticker from your forehead and place it on the mirror, where it belongs. ~ Susan Jeffers
Your nervous system will always choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven.
hardyfool (original poster member #83133) posted at 9:13 PM on Thursday, July 18th, 2024
I've thought about the lawyer point and frankly she doesn't really do anything that is threatening. I would not think it would rise to a legal point and even a "lawyer's letter" which we all know has zero value, but would give her a reaction and also embarrass me by resorting to such a tactic. The kids might see it as a special reaction as well.
Security, the houses are fortresses, I love my cameras and there are always gates.
If the sexes were reversed perhaps I could see it, but as guy I just don't see it. This spike in activity is likely triggered by my relocation. She doesn't know if it permanent or temporary as I have not sold the other house.
It is more like someone who is terribly lost by the ramifications of her decisions.
