Topic is Sleeping.
HFSSC (original poster member #33338) posted at 1:13 AM on Saturday, February 3rd, 2024
Y’all.
I don’t know how to explain this but I am simultaneously at a loss for words but also so full of words I feel like I’m going to explode.
Background:
We live on 40 acres of family land. My FIL lives in the home he and my MIL built on one corner. We live on another corner. There is a large hay field and my sister in law lives at the back of the field. Her younger daughter has been getting in trouble since high school. She’s 26 now. The first time she was arrested was in 11th grade when she beat a younger girl up badly. She’s run away multiple times. Then there’s been the drug activity. She’s used, dealt God only knows what drugs.
She has an almost 5 year old son. The weekend after my MIL passed away in 2020, she was literally stopped twice in one night with drugs in her car. The second time was 4 am with the baby in the car. They wrote her a ticket to appear both times, confiscated the drugs and sent her on her way. She’s never been punished for any of it.
Meanwhile she and baby daddy split up and the day that he and her new boyfriend were firing shots at each other in their front yard I called DSS (child protective services) and reported her. They investigated and monitored her for about a year and nothing happened. She leaves the baby with anybody who will keep him so my SIL has mostly raised him.
Which brings us up to yesterday. Niece is 8+ months pregnant with baby #2. This baby daddy is 33 years old with 4 other kids by 3 different mothers. Oh and he deals. Niece has an Only Fans. She lives in SIL’s house and he maintains a separate home that he mostly does his business from. Both houses were raided yesterday by ATF and DEA. Niece and her BD were arrested. There were drugs (meth and weed), guns and money found in my SIL’s house. The house was just ransacked. Walls torn out. JM and our older son took 5 truck loads of trash to the dump today.
Niece called my SIL demanding to be bailed out. SIL laughed and
said "with what???" Niece tells her there’s $25k in the house.
SIL says "Not no more there isn’t."
So BD’s uncle bails them out today. And they show up to harass SIL. And they are apparently trying to pin it on her. Seriously??? WTAF?? How evil must you be to try to pin this on your mother?? Who is raising your child for you??
So, here we are. We are willing to help raise the baby if DSS actually comes through to protect these kids. I’m thinking they might not be willing to place him with my SIL because she was living in the house and knew what was going on. But we are concerned about safety because this guy is not a kingpin and there are surely people who are gonna be upset about losing their drugs and money.
I am just… beside myself and JM is a thousand times worse. I am only glad that my MIL was not alive to see this happen. But my FIL is not in good health and this is killing him. JM is barely holding together. My SIL is destroyed. I am 57 years old. Falling apart myself. And we are seriously looking at raising a newborn. And possibly a 5 year old if his dad doesn’t step up for him. But it will be even worse if she slides through this again with no consequences.
Thanks for letting me vent. I had to get this out somewhere.
We would greatly appreciate your prayers, good thoughts, vibes, whatever you have.
Me, 56
Him, 48 (JMSSC)
Married 26 years. Reconciled.
DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 4:01 PM on Saturday, February 3rd, 2024
Oh my when it rains it's a hurricane.
Praying big time for all of you but mostly that child protective services gets with the program and protects those babies!
Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 5:31 PM on Sunday, February 4th, 2024
Wow. Sorry you are dealing with all that. That is definitely some kuntry redneck stuff. Sounds similar to some neighbors we had. They were cooking meth they finally got booted. A young couple have bought the property and are gutting and redoing the home.
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
HFSSC (original poster member #33338) posted at 5:46 PM on Sunday, February 4th, 2024
Thanks, y’all. It’s just… surreal.
They showed up at my FIL’s house yesterday while JM was down there. My niece would not get out of the car but BD actually cried and said he needed to apologize for his actions. That we had been nothing but good to him and he was ashamed. Cried. JM didn’t go easy on him but did tell him he could forgive and was willing to help if they want a different path.
It did give JM a little bit of peace.
I’m still worried for the kids and don’t know if Social Services or law enforcement is going to protect them.
Just…
Me, 56
Him, 48 (JMSSC)
Married 26 years. Reconciled.
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 7:32 PM on Sunday, February 4th, 2024
That is a TV drama for sure. And your kindness really shows -
I hope it works out best for you all and the children.
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
Jeaniegirl ( member #6370) posted at 7:44 PM on Sunday, February 4th, 2024
If your FIL owns all the property, immediately take him to get a restraining order against the niece and drug dealing BD. Have them arrested every time they show up. This is to protect the child and also to clear the rest of the family from being accused of being in cahoots with the drug dealer BD. The restraining order needs to be done to protect you and others who live on the property because if a large amount of money and drugs were confiscated, the upper people the BD is involved with will NOT be happy they lost that. Very sad that niece is pregnant and doing drugs. IF child protective services is doing their job, she will lose that newborn if it tests positive for drugs at birth. I see too much leniency on behalf of law enforcement with your situation. I know they are overworked with all the drug trafficking but when a child is involved, more needs to be done.
Bigger probably needs to weigh in on this and give some advice.
"Because I deserve better"
MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 11:47 PM on Sunday, February 4th, 2024
Praying for ya’ll.
WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
Jeaniegirl ( member #6370) posted at 6:36 PM on Wednesday, February 7th, 2024
I hope your situation has improved.
"Because I deserve better"
HFSSC (original poster member #33338) posted at 11:08 PM on Wednesday, February 7th, 2024
It’s stable at the moment, I guess. Thought she was in labor yesterday but she "had too much to do" and waited until today. They have her on bed rest and IVs of some sort. She had no prenatal care until at least halfway through so her dates are fuzzy.
I’m just on autopilot right now. Want to do something but there’s nothing to be done at the moment.
Me, 56
Him, 48 (JMSSC)
Married 26 years. Reconciled.
EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 1:27 PM on Thursday, February 8th, 2024
I am so sorry you are going through this.
We live on 40 acres of family land.
Please make sure you all are protected legally. I know someone here who lost everything due to a family member's drug activity on their property.
Takes a real loser to be putting other folks (life/property) at risk.
but BD actually cried and said he needed to apologize for his actions.
Hopefully he was sincere but I would not believe it until I saw tons of actions vs words. This dude was probably crying for all HE lost and the possible rampifications (versus the devastation he caused).
Stay safe my friend.
Jeaniegirl ( member #6370) posted at 6:10 PM on Thursday, February 8th, 2024
Please make sure you all are protected legally. I know someone here who lost everything due to a family member's drug activity on their property.
___________________________________________________
This statement is totally correct.
"Because I deserve better"
HFSSC (original poster member #33338) posted at 11:53 AM on Friday, February 9th, 2024
All of our land is owned separately. When we each moved here, my ILs deeded acreage to each of us. Also our property is not contiguous with SIL’s so the most that could be seized is her 2 acres and house. Which still would not be great but better than them being able seize it all.
They have backed off from trying to lay it on my SIL so that’s good too.
Niece is on "bedrest" to keep in for at least another week. Who knows. I have to just keep praying.
Me, 56
Him, 48 (JMSSC)
Married 26 years. Reconciled.
EvenKeel ( member #24210) posted at 1:38 PM on Friday, February 9th, 2024
All of our land is owned separately.
Oh good!
Tred ( member #34086) posted at 9:55 PM on Friday, February 9th, 2024
HFSSC,
Sorry to hear about all the drama inserting itself into your life. I completely understand dysfunctional family. You are a very strong lady who has been through a lot. Just sending strong positive thoughts your way. I hope it gets better.
Tred
Married: 27 years (14 @JFO) D-Day: 11/09/11"Ohhhhh...shut up Tred!" - NOT the official SI motto (DS)
Notthevictem ( member #44389) posted at 7:37 PM on Wednesday, February 21st, 2024
Damn. That's crazy. Got an update?
BH
DDAY Mar 2014
Widowed 2022 - breast cancer
little turtle ( member #15584) posted at 9:21 PM on Wednesday, February 21st, 2024
NTV - there's some updates in HFSSC's other thread.
Failure is success if we learn from it.
Topic is Sleeping.