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Gunnut (original poster member #63221) posted at 9:44 PM on Tuesday, September 19th, 2023
Every once and awhile I come across threads that seem suspicious. They tend to be very fleshed out and hyper detailed, the BS find out we’ll in advance, of the cheating so they are able to mount a drastic theatrical divorce situation that totally crushes and surprises the WS. It mostly happens in threads where the BS (usually a man) take very decisive bold steps to end the marriage and the WS is a complete and utter wreck who begs for the marriage but to no avail and ends up in a horrible situation (homeless, jobless, looks like shit, family hates her, abused by AP or some other calamity where the BS will certainly have a horrible future.
What makes people fake a story? Is it someone’s sick idea if proper creative writing? I know mods have banned people for it; have any of you mods ever asked an offender why they did it ? Are people attention seeking ? Is it a product of Bs who handled their situation weakly and want a story of strength even though it’s fictitious. Or is it (as I suspect) BSers who want to punish all WSers by trying to encourage a swift and similar divorce as alleged in the thread. I also wonder if the threads I’ve suspected as false, aren’t by the same author as there seems to familiar themes and writing styles.
[This message edited by Gunnut at 9:56 PM, Tuesday, September 19th]
annb ( member #22386) posted at 9:53 PM on Tuesday, September 19th, 2023
I've suspected a few in my many years here, I'm sure the mods probably caught them, but it usually takes pages and pages of members offering support. (Sadly when they can offer it elsewhere}.
I wish I could remember the names, both were supposedly male BS's who posted a bunch of BS here. It's been years as far as I can remember.
I suspect a current thread *might* be fake, but it's hard to tell, and if the story is real, it's without a doubt heartbreaking like the rest of our stories.
People can be cruel, I don't think any of us BS/WS here could ever make sense of the satisfaction someone gets off of the back of others' pain.
SadieMae ( member #42986) posted at 9:59 PM on Tuesday, September 19th, 2023
The mods here do an excellent job of finding these folks. I'm glad they do. It's hard not to get invested in people when you feel them pouring their hearts out, or you pour out your own heart in hopes of helping.
I will admit, there have been threads that I have thought were suspect in the past, even threads with very "popular" posters. If I don't think they are legit, I leave the thread and leave it to the mods. The idea of calling out someone who is already traumatized as a fake would be terrible if they were real.
Me: BW D-day 3/9/2014
TT until 6/2016
TT again Fall 2020
Yay! A new D-Day on 11/8/2023 WTAF
SacredSoul33 ( member #83038) posted at 10:49 PM on Tuesday, September 19th, 2023
The posts where it sounds more like a creative writing exercise than an actual person in pain are the ones that give me pause. Or the ones that get tied up in a neat little bow within a few weeks.
Like Sadie said, though, I usually just pop some corn and watch what happens, because 1) it's not my place to call someone out and 2) what if it does turn out to be real? Also, I figure others can benefit from reading the responses.
Let the world feel the weight of who you are and let them deal with it.
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 11:04 PM on Tuesday, September 19th, 2023
So yah there are people who come here and post. Some are for research for writing or a project. Others I feel are just lost souls traumatized someway related to infidelity.
At the end of the day though the advice here is solid and based on what works and doesn't work. So while the story may not be substitive the advice is real and good.
The posters that have been through their journey that continue to post like myself know what the right steps are to heal and how to get whole and happy again. That advice is real. Rarely wrong. The fakers will have their comeuppance at some point. Karma shes a bitch and she will always get the people that are bad and deserving.
Kids: 22 & 25
Married for 30 years now, was 16 at the time.
D-Day Sept 26 2008
R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
Bigger ( Attaché #8354) posted at 11:11 PM on Tuesday, September 19th, 2023
If you suspect a thread to be false then the correct process would be to notify staff and allow us to check it out.
"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus
DigitalSpyder ( member #61995) posted at 11:20 PM on Tuesday, September 19th, 2023
Trolling is generally an attention seeking behavior. That said, I wouldn't be surprised if all of the reasons that you've cited were behind one thread or another in some form or fashion. I'm fairly certain that all those threads blow up, the forum does tend towards responding more often to drama at times. The more drama the more response. So there is an incentive to create fake threads and make them as detail and dramatic as possible.
But sometimes life can be beyond what people expect as the norm. Some situations can seem like they were birthed and refined in the mind of a writer. Life can be strange that way. I think the rules here for sort of this are pretty solid. I'd rather nothing happen in this case, lest we isolate and run off people who need the help or advice. Besides, I don't need to read or respond to any of those threads if I choose not to. What others do is on them.
Post Tenebras Spero Lucem
Gunnut (original poster member #63221) posted at 12:44 AM on Wednesday, September 20th, 2023
I totally agree with not outing somebody on the forums. It’d be devastating to chase off a genuine BS because their real story is similar to a previous hoax. When I’ve suspected something I just leave the thread and I don’t return.
It’s so strange to me. It almost reminds of when people pretend to be veterans, I don’t get how people can get any benefits from false praise or sympathy. I hope it’s just attention seeking, but my gut tells me that it’s manipulative.
wifehad5 ( Administrator #15162) posted at 1:18 AM on Wednesday, September 20th, 2023
If you suspect a member of being a troll, bring it to the attention of a staff member. Chances are they're already on the radar, and we're doing what we can to weed them out. Don't post about it. At best, it alerts them to the fact that we're on to them. At worst it scares off a new member who's lost, hurting, and looking for help.
FBH - 52 FWW - 53 (BrokenRoad)2 kids 17 & 22The people you do your life with shape the life you live
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