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Newest Member: Btz1981

Divorce/Separation :
My divorce saved my life!

Topic is Sleeping.

 betrayed1965 (original poster member #14841) posted at 7:48 PM on Sunday, August 20th, 2023

Divorce literally saved my life. I am not ashamed of my divorce. I am proud that I had the courage to walk away before things got even worse. And yes, I am convinced they could have gotten much worse.

Good luck to all of you.

[This message edited by betrayed1965 at 8:01 AM, Monday, August 21st]

posts: 74   ·   registered: Jun. 2nd, 2007
id 8805024

leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 12:50 AM on Monday, August 21st, 2023

Thank you for posting. It's a very encouraging post to let others know that divorce can be life-saving.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 2871   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8805046

Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 6:02 AM on Monday, August 21st, 2023

My divorce probably saved my life too! My 1st H was a lot bigger than I was and thought nothing of physically abusing me.

It wasn't until I became a Mom that I realized if I didn't survive his abuse...our child would grow up without any parent in the household. I took steps to make sure that our child grew up in a loving environment...with or without me. One of those steps was going for D with my 1st H.

I have never regretted that decision.

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6557   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8805066

Bigger ( Attaché #8354) posted at 10:43 AM on Monday, August 21st, 2023

Your original unedited post was a lot better and IMHO sent a very good and positive message to members of this site. I encourage you to restore it to the original.

This post supports what I think: Action can lead to results, but inaction tends to keep you stuck in the same rut. A decisive divorce is definitely action!

Divorce is a perfectly fine route out of infidelity. Especially if you really understand divorce. The finality of it and the necessary emotional detachment required.
A lot of research has been done about divorce and how people react to it. One of the big surveys questioned people 12 months after divorce and something like 70% said that the marital issues could possibly have been dealt with and had some regret for the divorce. Same group queried at the 18-month mark had a near 100% happiness rate with their decision. In other words, people seldom regret divorcing.

That 18-month mark is interesting. It’s close to the often-cited 24-month mark used with a lot of trauma: It takes 2 years to deal with the death of a spouse, 2 years before you know if R is going to really work and… 2 years to be fully happy with a divorce.

"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus

posts: 11897   ·   registered: Sep. 29th, 2005
id 8805074

little turtle ( member #15584) posted at 1:58 PM on Monday, August 21st, 2023

Your original unedited post was a lot better and IMHO sent a very good and positive message to members of this site. I encourage you to restore it to the original.

I agree!!

Very proud of you.

Failure is success if we learn from it.

posts: 5572   ·   registered: Aug. 1st, 2007   ·   location: michigan
id 8805089

crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 5:36 PM on Wednesday, August 23rd, 2023

Leaving my xWS definitely saved my life. I am looking forward to finally being divorced!

fBS/fWS(me):50 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(20) DS(17)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014

posts: 8629   ·   registered: Apr. 2nd, 2012   ·   location: California
id 8805306
Topic is Sleeping.
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