SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hoped to R. She led me down that path and fed my heart to the wolves. 💔

[This message edited by WalkingThruFog at 1:19 AM, Tuesday, June 20th]

Is she married to somebody else? I just want to be sure I understand what has happened.

I’m sorry this has happened to you.

I think for your own protection you need to cut all ties. Completely ghost her and have no contact with her.

She’s a hot mess. I don’t know if she gets off on playing people or she’s just not sure what she wants or if she’s the person that "wants what she can’t have". It sounds like she pursued you until she was in a position where she "had" you, and she lost interest.

Maybe this was a game to get.

Don’t analyze it.

Move on without her.

I’m sorry for the pain you have suffered. You deserve better.

You are in a unhealthy situation. She is unhealthy and unsafe to you. You are constantly making unhealthy and unsafe decisions for yourself. Cut her off. She is sucking life and happiness out of you. She is not worth it.

Also, please inform her husband about your affair with her. He is in same position as you were when she cheated on you. He needs to know and you need to run away from her. Good luck.

WTF

Normally – when people divorce – they go their separate ways.
If there are kids they try to find a way to be good coparents. The fortunate ones even manage to be very civil to each other. Even care. But they have a very clear line between the relationship and A RELATIONSHIP. Like you might chat at kids handover-days and maybe have a coffee, but you won’t drop by for a coffee and cake unexpectedly.

If no kids, then "normally" within a couple of years you are completely out of each other’s lives.
It’s not hate or revenge or anything like that. It’s simply protection, and simple life-goes-on.
People don’t divorce because they get so well along and/or because they like each other too much.

In the last 7 years – what distance was there between you?
Who initiated the contact now?

Please – I get it you might have hopes and still hang on to something you think you lost. But you need to remove her from your world as much as you can.

Look at it this way: Imagine you realized one day that your recreational snorting of cocaine was going too far. Like instead of once every other month or only socially you were now taking a line Thursday afternoon to power through 18 holes of golf, and again Friday noon to get through work. You decide to quit it completely and you even manage to do that despite realizing you are sowing withdrawal symptoms for the first weeks. Stay clean for seven years… but all that time you still store that vial with some magic-powder amongst your socks and occasionally you stare at it wondering if you could…
Well… anyone battling addiction of any sorts will tell you that removing temptation is key. That by storing that vial you are only saying "I won’t use until next time".

I’m guessing that for 7 years you kept some hope of reuniting with your wife. I’m going to suggest you remove all wishes and hopes of that. Don’t have to be mean or nasty – just tell her that you don’t want her in your life and for your own recovery and development you need her to stay away from you.

Oof. If that's not proof that she doesn't have her act together, I don't know what is. It sounds like she probably lied to you about the true status of her relationship and came to you for an ego feed and emotional salve.

I assume that your children are fairly young and that you'll need to continue coparenting for a while yet, which makes things icky.

I think I'd call the husband and ask him about the status of their relationship, and tell him what happened. He deserves to know the truth -- and so do you.

Stop wasting your time and move on. She playing games and there is no prize. Demand a higher standard for yourself and move on.