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Divorce/Separation :
And here we go

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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 3:03 PM on Wednesday, August 2nd, 2023

The kids other than dd are all using one of wh old phones. His galaxy A20 is used by ds. His old work phone, little M has.

She was crying one day and I asked what was wrong. Turns out she was looking in the gallery for photos she had taken and scrolled down and found photos wh had saved from online of woman without much on and photos of me he'd taken while I was sleeping.

None of those pictures he took of me had my consent and it really bugs me. Who did he show those to? And they are 100% intimate photos. I feel so violated and humiliated.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25768   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8801903
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hemademesingle ( member #21281) posted at 3:08 PM on Wednesday, August 2nd, 2023

I'm sorry he did that.

Get that phone and turn it over to the police. It is a criminal offense.

posts: 466   ·   registered: Oct. 16th, 2008   ·   location: Canada
id 8801904
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 4:04 PM on Wednesday, August 2nd, 2023

There's no proof he sent them to anyone or posted them online so I'm not sure they can charge him with anything. I will show them and see what they say.

It's more the feeling of being violated that's so hard.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25768   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8801914
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hemademesingle ( member #21281) posted at 5:41 PM on Wednesday, August 2nd, 2023

It doesn't matter if they were sent or shown to anyone.

It is a criminal offense, he did not have consent.

posts: 466   ·   registered: Oct. 16th, 2008   ·   location: Canada
id 8801937
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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 6:06 PM on Wednesday, August 2nd, 2023

I'm so sorry Dragn. That is really creepy. I'm sure you do feel violated.

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 3595   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8801943
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 6:09 PM on Wednesday, August 2nd, 2023

It's humiliating for me but it was horrible for little M to see. She kept asking why dad had pictures of other woman on his phone and why he took pictures of me.

I disnt know what to say. There's just no explanation that makes sense.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25768   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8801944
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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 9:26 PM on Wednesday, August 2nd, 2023

That's a tough one. In my head only I would be saying because daddy is a creep. Would it be wrong to say I don't know you need to ask him? It's truthful and they are his pictures to explain.

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 3595   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8801968
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 10:29 PM on Wednesday, August 2nd, 2023

I apologized for not checking the phone and didn't day anything else. Asking him woukd just make him upset and that's not what I want the kids to deal with.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25768   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8801975
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Shehawk ( member #68741) posted at 12:15 AM on Thursday, August 3rd, 2023

Sending ((virtual hugs))
So sorry this happened

"It's a slow fade...when you give yourself away" so don't do it!

posts: 1663   ·   registered: Nov. 5th, 2018   ·   location: VA
id 8801988
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 1:42 AM on Thursday, August 3rd, 2023

Thank you

This whole thing is horrible. His cheating was horrible, his abuse was horrible and he's still managing to hurt the kids and I even while he's not here.

It's sad and depressing.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25768   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8801995
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rambler ( member #43747) posted at 4:47 AM on Wednesday, August 9th, 2023

Give it to your attorney. The kids will get past this. Keep moving forward.

making it through

posts: 1412   ·   registered: Jun. 17th, 2014   ·   location: Chicago
id 8803745
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 4:52 AM on Wednesday, August 9th, 2023

rambler

Police seized the phone. Becauze it's wh phone they needed to get a warrant to actually view the photos. I was told I'd eventually get it back.

Little M was not happy about that but I gave her my old phone which is a newer old phone lol so she's been ok with losing the one she had.

The whole thing is so embarrassing and I apologized to the officer because no one needs to see me in that state lol.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25768   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8803747
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hemademesingle ( member #21281) posted at 5:39 PM on Wednesday, August 9th, 2023

I'm sorry you and the kids are having to deal with this.

I'm glad the police are investigating.

You need to protect your children

posts: 466   ·   registered: Oct. 16th, 2008   ·   location: Canada
id 8803809
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 5:50 PM on Wednesday, August 9th, 2023

I'm doing the best I can to protect them.

Dd gave her statement to police yesterday for what wh did to her. I dont know when I'll find out of it will mean more charges for him. If it does the no contact conditions will also be for her.

I really want to know if/how criminal charges will affect family court and the divorce.

Could a family court judge allow visitation while a criminal investigation is underway? That possibility scares the crap out of me.

Dd has said that she's worried her dad is going to be angry with her for what she told the police.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25768   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8803811
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MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 6:05 PM on Wednesday, August 9th, 2023

OOOH that makes me so mad on her behalf! That she's worried what your WH thinks of her testimony! Yeah, he'll be mad. Let him fume- he's the one to blame, not her!

Is she afraid for her safety too?

Sorry Dragn, I'm so mad on your behalf right now that this is even something your girl has to have in her life.

You all deserve so much better.

WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

posts: 1180   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8803812
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 6:21 PM on Wednesday, August 9th, 2023

Is she afraid for her safety too?

Yes. She said she's worried he will beat her up if he gets to see her.

It's awful that she worries and has gone through so much at 15.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25768   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8803815
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MIgander ( member #71285) posted at 6:25 PM on Wednesday, August 9th, 2023

Sigh. In that case, I will pray that the family court sees sense in the criminal case here and forbids WH visitation. This is going to take YEARS for her to recover from. Hugs to you guys.

WW/BW Dday July 2019. BH/WH- multiple EA's. Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

posts: 1180   ·   registered: Aug. 15th, 2019   ·   location: Michigan
id 8803817
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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 6:26 PM on Wednesday, August 9th, 2023

"Yes. She said she's worried he will beat her up if he gets to see her." crying mad

I'm at a loss for words. Sending you and the kids hugs and strength.

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 3595   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8803818
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 6:35 PM on Wednesday, August 9th, 2023

This is going to take YEARS for her to recover from.

The weird thing is that she appears to be handling it all just fine. No crying. She's eating finally. First officer she spoke with told her she needs to take care of herself and eat when I told him she's lost 3 pounds.

She said she had to tell the truth.

Geez I get teary eyed just typing this out.

But she hasn't cried since the last time all the kids did a video call with wh and they all saw his shaved head.

I kinda wish she would be more emotional. I don't know if she's just holding it all in so she doesn't upset anyone else or if she's really just ok.

Now she has an IC and that IC and I have talked. Ic knows dd doesn't open up so she's working with her to gain her trust. It may take time. Victim services wants dd to see a trauma psychologist but dd doesn't want to because she has an IC already. I don't want to overload her.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25768   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8803820
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 DragnHeart (original poster member #32122) posted at 7:22 PM on Tuesday, August 15th, 2023

I just finished my Mandatory court information session.

Anyone else have to do that?

I guess it's good information however a little late. I got most if not all of that while getting my paperwork for court ready and speaking to my lawyer.

There was alot of information about mediation and a huge focus on the impact on children.

So that's done.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25768   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8804494
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