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Newest Member: Daughterofthemosthigh

New Beginnings :
15 years from D-Day Today

Topic is Sleeping.

 InnerLight (original poster member #19946) posted at 9:32 PM on Friday, June 2nd, 2023

Yes, 15 years ago today and it still makes me cry sometimes. It never stopped hurting on some level. I've learned to live with it. I've created a good life. I love my work. I love my house/land. Good friends and neighbors. No romance. No significant other. Not likely. I am 62 and very healthy and calm. I am more at peace with my life than I have ever been before. I'm proud of myself.

I'm sorry for all the pain everyone has gone through. I detest infidelity and what it does to people.

BS, 63 yearsD-day 6-2-08D after 20 yearsThe journey from Armageddon to Amazing Life happens one step at a time. Don't ever give up!

posts: 6688   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2008   ·   location: Rural California
id 8793698

BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 1:02 AM on Saturday, June 3rd, 2023

Congratulations on a life well lived. You sound at peace— and that is lovely.

Thanks for showing us all how nice a new life can be!

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6059   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8793709

leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 1:13 AM on Saturday, June 3rd, 2023

You should be proud! You've been through a lot and come out on the other side. The peace and contentment are priceless.

[This message edited by leafields at 2:31 AM, Monday, August 28th]

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3573   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8793711

Helena67 ( member #80506) posted at 6:24 AM on Saturday, June 3rd, 2023

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm glad you are at peace.

BS (me) 56 years. Divorced!!!

posts: 129   ·   registered: Aug. 10th, 2022   ·   location: The Netherlands
id 8793727

FaithFool ( member #20150) posted at 7:02 PM on Saturday, June 3rd, 2023

Heyyyy IL, great to hear from you! My #15 is coming up mid-month and my milestone birthday (#70!!) is coming up in August. I still twinge whenever I drive by the House of Pain, but no longer weep in the grocery aisle if Don Henley comes on. duh

I finished two degrees and last year was offered a full time admin job in my old department, which is helping me stash some more for eventual retirement. I retired for a couple of years, but I'm not a fan of poverty as a senior singleton. Some of my contemporaries are having problems affording groceries, which is just sad. So as long as I'm healthy I'll keep working and counting my blessings.



DDay: June 15, 2008
Mistakenly married Mr. Superfreak
20 years of OWs, WTF?
Divorced Dec 26, 2011
"Life is a shipwreck, but we must not forget
to sing in the lifeboats". -- Voltaire

posts: 21573   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2008   ·   location: Canada
id 8793777

 InnerLight (original poster member #19946) posted at 3:40 AM on Sunday, June 4th, 2023

Thank you everyone for your kind responses. Yes, I do feel a deep level of peace and acceptance that what happened happened, that I probably will never experience the kind of conscious and close loving relationship with a man that I wanted. I played my own role in that by accepting things early on I never should have accepted. And before I knew it I was 11 years post menopause. I am open to relationship possibilities, and I don't think I am 'too old' but I prefer to enjoy the land where I live, the fun of carving spoons and weaving willow baskets (my latest craftiness), and joys of connecting with friends and pets.

Faithfool - oh my - to come back and connect with you again and remember all the postings we made while we went through that mess at the same time - Our D-Days within 13 days of each other - what a treat to hear from you.

You're hitting 70! I remember when you were starting your first degree in history - so congratulations on having completed TWO! Yes, I too will be working through my seventies and maybe eighties for two reasons: finances of course, and because I absolutely love the healing, teaching and community work I do. I am well suited to it so it won't be a hardship to work until I drop.

I wish everyone peaceful new beginnings.

[This message edited by InnerLight at 3:42 AM, Sunday, June 4th]

BS, 63 yearsD-day 6-2-08D after 20 yearsThe journey from Armageddon to Amazing Life happens one step at a time. Don't ever give up!

posts: 6688   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2008   ·   location: Rural California
id 8793810

The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 12:31 PM on Wednesday, July 5th, 2023

Love 💕 the positive outcome. I am 10 years out from Dday and fortunately we survived it.

But I am on the same path. Focus on myself first. Started a business a few years back that I enjoy and plan to continue as long as possible.

I did not know about SI at the time I was going through the nightmare of infidelity. I wish I had b/c I made all the classic mistakes such as the pick me dance, believing his words even though his actions contradicted them etc.

As you said "we do survive this".

It helps to have a community to support us too.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 10 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.

posts: 13970   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8798193

Tallgirl ( member #64088) posted at 1:22 AM on Monday, August 28th, 2023

You sound so peaceful and happy with your life. Congratulations!

Standing tall

posts: 2224   ·   registered: Jun. 11th, 2018
id 8805779
Topic is Sleeping.
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