Welcome to the club nobody wants to join! I'm sorry you're going through all this, but am glad you found us.
Wow! Where to start?! Your club brother is lying to your wife so he can have sex with her?! Incredible!! Not a very good friend, is he?
he would get girls social media and phone # and put them on my phone
My club brothers made fun of me and said I was gay.
To begin, and I say this gently, this motorcycle club you have joined is not the filled with the highest caliber of people. They are treating you with the greatest level of disrespect possible. They call you hateful names and set you up. So far, they have successfully ruined your M (Marriage). Trust is the most important ingredient in a relationship and your best friend has eroded that over time in your wife. He has been so successful in planting evidence then convicting you on it that I am afraid even if you tell your wife the truth, she will have a hard time believing it. IF this relationship is to be salvaged, I think you're going to have to start all over.
But before you do, I would suggest both you and your WW get into IC (Individual Counseling), take a snapshot of where you are today, and make a plan to get you ready for where you want to be. If those plans include each other, then you have a chance; otherwise, it might be best to go your separate ways. I read how you feel about D (Divorce) and I fully understand it. I didn't marry my wife to D her, but neither did I marry her to share her with a bunch of guys.
M is a contractual agreement, and once that contract is broken (by either or both sides) you are free to choose whether to stay or go. Appealing to your religious side, Christ is against D but made only one exception for it, and that is infidelity. He doesn't say you can not remarry, either. He says that if a man wants to D his W, he is to give her a writ of D and send her on her way so she is free to marry again, if she wishes. I interpret that as meaning God doesn't "make" us be alone after a D. Just food for thought, there.
It is good you were open with your W about the pornography and other items, and that she was willing to work with you on those areas. That's what loving partners do. It sounds like deep down inside your WW there was a great person; but, now? I think it will take time to see what she has become - and you, as well. And I think "time" is the key, for now. If she wants to be separated, then so be it. Work on your self and stay the strong, steady shoulder your W or next woman in your life will need.
Keep posting here and keep us up to date on what is happening, even if it's just to vent. That's what we're here for. And just remember that here, you are not alone.