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Newest Member: M0771

I Can Relate :
For Those Who Found Out Years Later - part 2

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Brittn ( new member #84766) posted at 10:09 PM on Wednesday, July 10th, 2024

Another thought, as my wife’s confession after years of denial is in doubt (claims to have stopped after making out with her coworker even though they were at a hotel) Ikve been on a quest to squeeze her for the truth. This delay in finding out makes it almost impossible. Witnesses of the night (people at the party) had 10 year old memories of the event, unreliable.. I could ask the AP but why would he be truthful? A polygraph then. An option, but ever since her confession, my wife has had work set backs, death of a fav pet etc. I can’t bring myself to strong arm her to an examiner. This late confession probably robbed me of the truth forever.. I might just have to believe that she gave herself fully to him and see if I can get over it, maybe.

posts: 30   ·   registered: Apr. 22nd, 2024   ·   location: USA
id 8842114
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lessthinking ( member #83887) posted at 8:40 PM on Thursday, July 11th, 2024

Bittn, My spouse's kissing affair was 15 years ago and I thought the same. I might as well believe the worst. 9 months after DD I just couldn't stop rumination, it was blocking our forward movement so the poly was scheduled. WH wrote out everything he could remember and the polygraph questions were if there was anything withheld or lied about in the disclosure letter. He passed and although it was so super stressful, he said he is so glad he did it. It's the consequences of secrets and betrayal, a few hours of intense acute stress is the least they could do as BS's anguish for months and years.

posts: 126   ·   registered: Sep. 19th, 2023   ·   location: West Coast
id 8842213
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grubs ( member #77165) posted at 3:54 PM on Friday, July 12th, 2024

I might just have to believe that she gave herself fully to him and see if I can get over it, maybe.

I suggest that all the time to new BS. You can't conclusively prove a negative (that she didn't) retroactively. TT means that doubt is deep seated in your mind. Polygraphs can help but even those are imperfect. I would believe that suggesting a Poly can be helpful to both of you. Yes it's going to be stressful to her. But if she has not gone all the way, having her story verified by the poly will give her and you something to build on in repairing your trust in her.

posts: 1601   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2021
id 8842378
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