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General :
Everything feels like grief


 Jdisco (original poster new member #82964) posted at 5:36 PM on Monday, March 13th, 2023

I wanted to ask if this is familiar to anyone.

I’ve taken up meditation to help calm my everything and cope with this bullshit. I’ve been reading lots on healing and working on "just noticing" emotions and the allowing myself to feel them.

I had such an instance yesterday. I’m staying with my Brother and his family after a big fight with my WW, and I recognized how nice it is here and that love is here, and that I haven’t felt loved in some time .

So I noticed this and tried to allow myself to feel that love, and you know what? It felt just like grief. Made me sad/emotional and want to cry.

Occurs to me that just about everything makes me emotional and want to cry. Anger, sadness, anxiety/fear, joy - cry cry cry.

Is this …"normal"

posts: 15   ·   registered: Feb. 27th, 2023   ·   location: Pac NW
id 8781983

Dorothy123 ( member #53116) posted at 9:38 AM on Wednesday, March 15th, 2023

is this …"normal"

Yes, this normal.

Here are six pages of worth of BS's going through the same thing.

"What physical symptoms of A did you have?"

"I’ll get you my pretty, and your little dog too!" Wicked Witch of the West.

posts: 5478   ·   registered: May. 7th, 2016   ·   location: a happy place
id 8782294

Devon99uk ( new member #82658) posted at 10:35 AM on Wednesday, March 15th, 2023

Definitely 'normal' which is sad in itself really. I experienced the exact same thing whilst spending time at my sister's house... Surrounded by her family & being part of that loving atmosphere made me feel unbelievably sad, to the point I left early because I just felt like crying. I almost couldn't bare the happiness. I think it was the realisation that I also hadn't felt that in my own relationship in a very long time, as my husband had obviously disconnected from me during his affair & I realised looking back how lonely I'd been during that time. One thing I would say though is that it's best not to dwell on what's happened because I can't change it. I've tried to remember the good times we had & how lucky I was to have a nice relationship for 15yrs and remember that some people don't ever get to experience that. Positive & thankful thoughts have really helped me during this grieving period, otherwise it's easy to give into the 'it's unfair, why did this happen to me' thoughts, which doesn't allow me to move forward.

I don't know you, but I'm thinking of you, I know how hard this is but it will get better 🙌 🙌

posts: 5   ·   registered: Jan. 2nd, 2023   ·   location: Devon, UK
id 8782298

Grieving ( member #79540) posted at 11:17 AM on Wednesday, March 15th, 2023

Yes, it’s normal. I joined this site over a year after Dday, and I chose my username because grief and sadness were the strongest and most overwhelming emotions I was experiencing at that time, and indeed throughout the whole recovery and healing process. Even now, almost three years out, I still feel a deep sadness at times.

If it’s any consolation, at this point I kind of wish I had chosen a different username, because I do feel so much better overall. I wouldn’t say I’m back to normal—I’m very changed—, but I do feel happiness again. I have fun, and I laugh now. But it took a long time.

Hugs and prayers for you in this difficult time. I’m so very, very sorry you have to go through this.

Husband of 20 years had six month affair with co-worker. Found out 7/2020. Two teenaged kids. Reconciling.

posts: 395   ·   registered: Oct. 30th, 2021
id 8782300

Superesse ( member #60731) posted at 2:07 PM on Wednesday, March 15th, 2023

To really experience the depth of our feelings is a challenge many people fear, especially when we have bottled them up for most of our lives! (Speaking for myself and thinking of my late brother, who used alcohol to "feel less pain" until it killed him.)

Last Thanksgiving morning I lost the dog I loved for 12 years, and have been trying to find a puppy like him 'for the other dog's sake.' I find that even looking at cute puppy pictures online brings me to tears seeing the preciousness of new life along with a mother dog's tender love for her pups! Love is always beautiful, yet my loss amplifies my reaction.

So yes, it makes sense that grief is your main emotion these days. You were witnessing in your brother's house what you once felt you had in your own, and lost. I am so sorry your WW made the choices she did. But remember, there is also an 'observer effect' that can magnify a feeling of 'being on the outside looking in.'

posts: 1618   ·   registered: Sep. 22nd, 2017   ·   location: Washington D C area
id 8782312

Unhinged ( member #47977) posted at 1:31 PM on Thursday, March 16th, 2023

Occurs to me that just about everything makes me emotional and want to cry. Anger, sadness, anxiety/fear, joy - cry cry cry.

This is a symptom of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and it's quite common. The grief can be overwhelming. Therapy and mindfulness will help. Unfortunately, the only thing that really helps beyond that is time.

Focus on you, my friend, your recovery and healing. It's a long road, brother.

Married 2005
D-Day April, 2015
Divorced May, 2022

"The Universe is not short on wake-up calls. We're just quick to hit the snooze button." -Brene Brown

posts: 6686   ·   registered: May. 21st, 2015   ·   location: Colorado
id 8782437

hikingout ( member #59504) posted at 1:45 PM on Thursday, March 16th, 2023

Meditation is great way to metabolize those feelings. Each time you are present to them it adds a layer of healing. That’s a great practice.

Spend time in nature and doing things you enjoy.
Self care, doing things that demonstrate love towards yourself. Getting in exercise can help with dopamine. There are also foods you can eat that helps with endorphins.

Grief is normal. You have experienced a great loss. Therapy can be helpful as well. I am sorry you are struggling, better days are coming.

5 years of hard work

posts: 6349   ·   registered: Jul. 5th, 2017   ·   location: Arizona
id 8782439
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