SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

My husband’s A is still a daily trauma for me. But, we have kept celebrating the day nonetheless. He left roses this morning and took me for a drink tonight. Then we are cooking dinner with our 16 year old daughter. She’s been a bit in the dumps so we are including her. In two days is my birthday. He let the AP come back to work for him on my birthday(after being sent on a 5 weeks leave to arrange her departure). This departure was meant to be permanent. His letting her return was a secret and a betrayal so celebrating that night will be tougher. I do remember him on the phone with her on Valentine’s Day before their thing became physical. So there are still some bad thoughts. I just still don’t want to give the whole thing up. I’ll accept the attention and focus as it is some consolation to me. Kindest hugs to everyone here for whom this is a tough day. Which is probably basically everyone. Xoxo

((virtual hugs)) to those who are hurting today.
Many of us have been through unspeakable betrayal and pain.

Time is healing this for me. I went to the gym and enjoyed a nice meal. Each year away from infidelity it gets easier.

You guys are awesome!
I appreciate all your support, experiences and strength!

Chaos says:

I wear black as a form of personal protest - I crack myself up.

I love this! I also wear black sometimes as a way to support myself through difficult days--my secret, personal day of mourning. But it actually cheers me up a bit because I see it as self-care--so it's good for my mental health.

In addition to it being a day of love and I am a LTA survivor - it is also LTAP's birthday

I'm so sorry about these triggers and I'm glad so many members reached out to write about how this day hits them.

My own Bday is Valentine's Day--no joke.
Yet backnin 2020, Dday 1, when I confronted H with early suspicions, was Feb 7. Dday 2, when I had verification of AP#3, was Feb 12. On Feb 17 (as I recall) was Dday 3, when I discovered and he finally admitted to AP#1 who was his coworker. Also, fHW's birthday is Feb 4.

So, Feb is a minefield of remembrances.

Yesterday (Feb 14), I focused on the good. My H and kids were great to me--just lots of little nice things. And people at work were great too. Lots of "happy birthday" greetings. I was uncomfortable and fighting triggers at times, but I try to "flow" through those moments--acknowledge the pain/discomfort and then let that moment pass. I do a lot of mindfulness.

I am keenly aware that this is the last birthday with both kids in the house. Next year my son will be off to college. So, time with the kids is so precious to me.

Honestly, partially because I'm mid fifties, my expectations for my birthday and V day are low, so that allows me to appreciate the good that does come my way and lots of small moments do.

Anyhoo, for those of you who also struggle with V day, raise a glass of your beverage of choice to my birthday and to each other and to our fine selves.
We deserve to celebrate ourselves and each other.
Cheers!

I do not acknowledge this day, as a matter of fact I make sure not to even kiss her, hug her or make eye contact. Cold as ice. I know most people with my history do not behave as I do and many of you might think that after as much time that has passed I should be past this kind of behavior but I am not. To me anyone deserving of special treatment on this day would never have cheated end of story.

I am 6 years out and in the beginning - trying to repair our marriage - I would give my WH a nice card and make his favorite dinner or go out to a cool restaurant. I was the one who acknowledged the "holiday". He said it was a holiday created by corporate America so he has not really given/done anything in recent memory to celebrate.

The thing is, it matters to me! So apparently how I feel is not a concern. This is the first year I made it just a regular day. I texted an emoji. That was it.

The next day I bought myself flowers (LOVE the new Miley Cyrus son).

Next year I will wear black :-)