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 Kb82 (original poster member #70826) posted at 1:40 AM on Tuesday, August 15th, 2023

Hey guys, sorry it's been a bit since I've checked in. I've been working overtime and the boys are playing football now which takes 4 days a week, so things have been crazy. As far as WH things have been pretty quiet. Last week WH scheduled then didn't show to 2 supervised visit appointments. Kids and I drove an hour each way twice just for him to not show. Kids had actually gotten excited to see him. Boys wore their football jerseys to show him. Then he made lame excuses right at the time the appointments were scheduled both times. Kids were in tears. I was pissed. But we are no longer doing those. (He only came to 1 in the first place anyway back in june). The counselor said he will notify my attorney and make a report. He also got caught in several lies. He was telling me via email which i ignored that each visit was $600. Trying to make me feel bad. I asked the counselor and turns out he typically charges $200, but gave WH a discount and was oy charging him $100. He also used having to pull over for a funeral as the reason he didn't make the appointment. I also pulled over for it and was 3 minutes late. The counselor was furious when he realized that. He lies so much its sad.

Anyway, We have mediation set for October 18th. So hopefully that doesn't get rescheduled. I'll keep you guys posted. Thanks for all the support. :)

posts: 203   ·   registered: Jun. 22nd, 2019   ·   location: TN
id 8804419
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nomudnolotus ( member #59431) posted at 1:47 AM on Tuesday, August 15th, 2023

So good to hear from you KB, that's very sad for your kids that he was a no show, I'm sorry that you and they had to deal with that. It's his own fault that he had to pay someone to supervise visits, not yours, so he needs to get off the wambulance. I'm hoping the mediation goes okay!

posts: 481   ·   registered: Jun. 30th, 2017
id 8804420
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Bor9455 ( member #72628) posted at 5:22 PM on Tuesday, August 15th, 2023

Thanks for checking in KB. My heart breaks for your kids and the way their father is behaving. Having a son who is in sports this fall myself I could only imagine how proud they were to show their dad their jerseys only to have him not even bother to see them. Very sad, but unfortunately he is showing everyone in the family who he is and not just you. Strength and hugs to you, take care of yourself and keep trudging forward.

Myself - BH & WH - Born 1985 Her - BW & WW - Born 1986

D-Day for WW's EA - October 2017D-Day no it turned PA - February 01, 2020

posts: 669   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2020   ·   location: Miami
id 8804477
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 Kb82 (original poster member #70826) posted at 5:08 AM on Wednesday, August 16th, 2023

Thanks guys. I was heartbroken for them. He pretends to want to see them so bad and then does stuff like that. It's all about appearance. I feel like he's into some bad stuff right now. I also have a feeling he's been telling his mother the visits are $600 too and she's possibly giving him the money and he's doing something else with it. Idk for sure but that's just a feeling I have. But I will update as soon as I have one. Thanks for always being supportive

posts: 203   ·   registered: Jun. 22nd, 2019   ·   location: TN
id 8804546
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Bor9455 ( member #72628) posted at 9:14 PM on Wednesday, September 20th, 2023

KB,

How have you been holding up these past few weeks? Everything proceeding forward as you expected?

Myself - BH & WH - Born 1985 Her - BW & WW - Born 1986

D-Day for WW's EA - October 2017D-Day no it turned PA - February 01, 2020

posts: 669   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2020   ·   location: Miami
id 8808637
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ArkLaMiss ( member #14918) posted at 4:21 PM on Friday, September 22nd, 2023

KB,
How are you doing? Update us when you can.

Just HOW stupid do you think I am, exactly?

posts: 1805   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2007
id 8808937
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 Kb82 (original poster member #70826) posted at 5:23 AM on Sunday, October 8th, 2023

Hey guys thanks for checking in on us. Everything has been pretty calm. ExWH didn't show to the last 3 supervised visitations. My mil was sending bday gifts for the kids (we have been in what we call bday 'season ' it starts with end of July, end of August, end of September, October 9, December 20th.) So she was sending gifts for bdays and emailing me about the gifts on the way, etc. Long story short I messaged her back and forth a little regarding gifts, then invited her to the boys football games. I have no idea why I did that and immediately regretted it. She wrote back telling me how horrible exWH has been 'because of this". That they'd have to "physically help him up the bleachers", etc. I wrote back letting her know the game was about the boys and there'd be certain stipulations in place if they did come. Mil did not show but Exwh showed up. Things were actually decently calm. He had our 4 year old come tell me 'daddy thinks youre pretty'. I just said 'ok, thank you. 'The kids went over and spoke with him some during the game. He told them he has some disease that's making his legs swell up. I guess that's what Mil was talking about. Not sure how i caused it though. I also found out he has a new car and 2 new boats. But has been so broke he can't pay for child support or supervised visits? Anyway I'm a dummy for inviting him to the games. I'm glad things went calmer than expected. We have mediation in 2 weeks. Pray for me. And thanks for being so supportive throughout this time.

posts: 203   ·   registered: Jun. 22nd, 2019   ·   location: TN
id 8810983
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nomudnolotus ( member #59431) posted at 1:39 AM on Monday, October 9th, 2023

He can't show up to supervised visits but he can show up when he knows he might be able to get a reaction from you. I'm sending good thoughts your way KB, I hope everything goes how you want it to during mediation. Let us know.

posts: 481   ·   registered: Jun. 30th, 2017
id 8811011
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 Kb82 (original poster member #70826) posted at 3:26 AM on Friday, October 13th, 2023

Back again with new update. My sister was digging on an arrest site in our area today. Turns out WH was arrested in May of this year for possession of meth, unlawful possession of a handgun while intoxicated, and simple possession of a non prescribed medication. We have mediation next week. He asked for split custody in his answer to my divorce filing. I'm in shock. The nerve of him to ask for that given his circumstances blows my mind. I'm calling my attorney tomorrow. Just wanted to update. I'll come back when I have more info.

posts: 203   ·   registered: Jun. 22nd, 2019   ·   location: TN
id 8811421
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nomudnolotus ( member #59431) posted at 12:46 PM on Friday, October 13th, 2023

Wow KB that is awful. Does he still have to go to court for those charges? Let us know what the lawyer says, hopefully that will make his chances for custody go to nothing. :(

posts: 481   ·   registered: Jun. 30th, 2017
id 8811438
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 Kb82 (original poster member #70826) posted at 1:09 PM on Friday, October 13th, 2023

Hey Nomud, he apparently had a court date yesterday. I'm not sure what happened but saw it on a local website. It was amazing that my sister found it when she did. I had been praying for an answer on what to do regarding custody and I feel like that was definitely my answer. I'm glad I saw it before our mediation. I'm sad that this is the life he has chosen but my number one priority is to protect my babies. I have left a message for my lawyer's office and will let you know what they say. Thank you. ❤️

posts: 203   ·   registered: Jun. 22nd, 2019   ·   location: TN
id 8811439
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nomudnolotus ( member #59431) posted at 9:47 PM on Friday, October 13th, 2023

Do you think he might end up going to jail for this? Not sure what the laws are like where you are. Sending hugs your way KB, keep us updated.

posts: 481   ·   registered: Jun. 30th, 2017
id 8811604
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fareast ( Moderator #61555) posted at 1:55 AM on Saturday, October 14th, 2023

Sending you strength. You have your priorities in the right place protecting your children. Do let your attorney know about his criminal behavior and document everything and every contact. It certainly is relevant information to any custody determination. Good luck.

Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.

posts: 3921   ·   registered: Nov. 24th, 2017
id 8811631
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 Kb82 (original poster member #70826) posted at 1:23 PM on Thursday, October 19th, 2023

We had mediation yesterday. Wh refused to do supervised even after the meth charge. He said it was dropped bc he plead to the gun charge. We had an agreement where he was going to sign a quitclaim to get off the home deed but then he asked me to pay his court costs. My lawyer was livid. She said "absolutely not. He hasn't paid a dime in support" so, we accomplished nothing yesterday and now have to go to trial. She says it will be at least January before we get a date due to the judge's schedule. I don't understand him denying to do supervised. By the time we get to court he could have completed supervised. Now he won't see the kids at all until then. I'll keep you all posted.

posts: 203   ·   registered: Jun. 22nd, 2019   ·   location: TN
id 8812081
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HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 7:42 PM on Thursday, October 19th, 2023

In some states, the person who has supervised visits,has to pay the person who is supervising. Maybe that's why? Really, it's probably because he just doesn't care to see the kids. And NC with him is probably best for them. He is extremely toxic and abusive.

But you are what you did
And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive
The smallest man who ever lived..

posts: 6787   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2017   ·   location: The Midwest
id 8812122
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BigMammaJamma ( member #65954) posted at 3:39 PM on Friday, October 20th, 2023

Some people should just not be parents. I am so sorry that this process is dragging out like this. I think all of his antics are really going to bite him in the ass when he finally gets in front of a judge. You keep doing you and being the sane parent for your kids. You are doing incredible under the circumstances.

Me- born in 1984Him- born in 1979We both have 2 kids from previous marriages and we share a four year old. I might be a BS, but at this point, I don't know if I'll ever know.

Update: As of 5/8/2020, my WH confirmed I belong in this club

posts: 303   ·   registered: Aug. 23rd, 2018   ·   location: Deep in the Heart of Texas
id 8812240
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