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General :
Eye lie detectors and lie detectors

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 Ihatelying (original poster new member #82420) posted at 3:47 AM on Monday, November 21st, 2022

I would like to know how a lie detector test works, exactly.
I would also like to know, from the ones that have taken it, if they are correct?
Did u lie and the test show that u didn’t and more importantly, did u tell the truth and the test said u lied?

Ihatelying

posts: 30   ·   registered: Nov. 18th, 2022
id 8766122
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leafields ( member #63517) posted at 4:43 AM on Monday, November 21st, 2022

I've heard that people who have a personality can pass because they're so used to lying that they won't exhibit the signs of a normal person and can pass.

I didn't go the poly route because my XWH is personality disordered, but it didn't matter if he told the truth or not. That level of deception was enough for me to say that the M was over. FWIW, I filed for D a week before our 34th anniversary.

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 1490   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8766124
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 Ihatelying (original poster new member #82420) posted at 1:07 AM on Wednesday, November 23rd, 2022

Anyone taken one?

Ihatelying

posts: 30   ·   registered: Nov. 18th, 2022
id 8766377
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Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 2:32 PM on Wednesday, November 23rd, 2022

I haven't taken one...but I have seen several posts from people who have. There are also the posts about the "parking lot confessions"...where the Wayward will claim innocence up to the time to go in for the polygraph...then the truth comes spewing out rolleyes .

People are mixed as to the accuracy of them. There was a saga in another forum on here where the person kept proclaiming their innocence even after the polygraph showed they were lying. As it turned out...the polygraph was accurate.

I have also seen where the Waywards have passed the polygraph...and their Betrayed was very RELIEVED smile . People on here would caution them about the results...but it would help the Betrayed who had their Wayward pass it.

I didn't believe anything my H told me at first. He had his A while working alone overseas...and there was a lot of information I could glean from expense receipts...time sheets...and even social media accounts he used while over there. My mind was mush at first...so I was just getting the information from what he remembered. After I got my bearings...I started looking into all of the "evidence" I had. Thankfully...almost everything my H told me could be corroborated with the evidence I found. Knowing the TRUTH really helped me in my healing process smile .

From what I have seen...most people have 3-5 questions that they are usually asked. These questions would have a yes or no answer to them. The person performing the polygraph will usually assist with the questions...tweaking them to be as concise as possible. I haven't seen one instance on here where the polygraph wasn't accurate in showing deception. However...like it was said...there are some people who could pass a polygraph even though they are lying...so the passing results may not be as accurate.

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6321   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8766433
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 3:11 PM on Wednesday, November 23rd, 2022

I took 2 pre-employment tests, the 2nd about a week before they became illegal (but I didn't know that).

The first end ed with something like, 'Have you done anything illegal that hasn't been covered in this test.' That blew up the machine but was intended to. My illegalities: I drank a lot before I was 21. I had smoked pot, I had sometimes honored speed limits and parked legally, I had ...um... spun some info on taxes, I had appropriated employer assets for personal use (pens, paper, copying, fiddled expense reports...). I got the job.

On the 2nd, I was interested in a 'systems programmer' manager job in the mainframe era. I was to do things like manage people who installed OSes and security applications. I was asked something like, 'Can you circumvent the security system at my current job?' Hell, yes, I could. I installed it, configured it, monitored it, modified it ... if I couldn't circumvent it, I was not skilled enough for the job.

So I said, 'Yes.' Didn't get the job. It was a bank. They went bust about a year later.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 27872   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8766448
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 Ihatelying (original poster new member #82420) posted at 3:23 PM on Wednesday, November 23rd, 2022

Can u only ask so many questions with a lie detector?? And do u come up with the questions or they do? What if u have specific questions? Are they only generalized questions?

Ihatelying

posts: 30   ·   registered: Nov. 18th, 2022
id 8766454
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HellFire ( member #59305) posted at 3:54 PM on Wednesday, November 23rd, 2022

You typically get 3 to 5 questions. You will work with the administrator as to what questions will be asked. They can be very specific.

Everyone is anxious if they have to take the test. That is not why people fail them.

A freshly caught WS will almost always say they will take the test,because obviously saying they won't makes it look like they're lying. Your WS knows he's lying, and is refusing to take the test because he thinks he can bully his way out of it,as he's been a bully throughout the marriage.

You can not begin to attempt reconciliation with a WS who is lying,and unremorseful. Unfortunately, with your WS, even if he eventually agreed to the test, when he fails it,he will blame you,the administrator, the test,etc. He will tell you he told you so.

Having an unremorseful,angry ws take a polygraph is useless for the above reason.

Many,many BS here have had their WS take a poly. It's extremely useful. From the parking lot confession,to the test results. There have been several ws who have failed..and the BS has always found that they failed because they were lying. More evidence comes to light,or the WS eventually admits it.

Polygraphs have come a long way in the last several years. I've read that the reason they are not allowed in court,is because a sociopath who believes their own lies, can pass one. I listen to a lot of true crime podcasts,hosted by current or former, police detectives. The police put a lot of stock in a polygraph. And they all agree that when a person refuses a test,it's because that person has something to hide.

I had my ws take one,a year after dday. Nothing new had come up,but I needed to make sure. He passed. The administrator was a former police detective,skilled in what he was doing.

[This message edited by HellFire at 3:56 PM, Wednesday, November 23rd]

posts: 4852   ·   registered: Jun. 20th, 2017   ·   location: The Midwest
id 8766460
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 Ihatelying (original poster new member #82420) posted at 4:45 PM on Wednesday, November 23rd, 2022

Well crap! I had a lot of questions. Wonder if I could pay extra for more questions? Lol. Sigh
Oh well, I’m sure he’s not going to take it and I’ll be pushed into a corner of either forget about all the past or get a D. It will end in a D. Might be a year from now, who knows, but I WILL NOT stay in a marriage when he thinks I need to get over it and he keeps the past hidden from me (or I don’t know bc he won’t take the test). I hate to start over at this age, but I’d rather start over and find someone that I’d feel free and happy with than trying to fake it from here on out.
Do u know how badly I want a happy marriage and life? One that I can give my all? And I can’t, even when I’m faking it, bc I know there’s more and stuff he’s lying about.
Like I’d said in another post, he thinks telling me he cheated should be the end of it. That with how many and any details is a no no and there’s no reason for me to know details. I know he cheated and that’s that.

Ihatelying

posts: 30   ·   registered: Nov. 18th, 2022
id 8766469
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CrapMan ( new member #80450) posted at 5:24 PM on Wednesday, November 23rd, 2022

Like Sisson, I have had 2 polygraphs for employment. The first was for an armed guard on an armored truck. Off thing is the person told me I had a little trouble with the "have you done any drugs in the previous 3 years" question. I didn't do drugs; but, was taking a bunch of supplements for power lifting. The second was for IT at a bank as well. I got hired in both cases.

posts: 6   ·   registered: Jul. 22nd, 2022
id 8766472
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Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 3:12 PM on Thursday, November 24th, 2022

Wonder if I could pay extra for more questions?

From what I have read on here...you could ask more questions but it will cost more...so I guess that is a YES to your question smile .

Do u know how badly I want a happy marriage and life? One that I can give my all? And I can’t, even when I’m faking it, bc I know there’s more and stuff he’s lying about.

Yes ma'am...I very much know how badly you want that (((HUGS))). When I was writing down everything I wanted MY life to look like...it all boiled down to me WANTING a happy and healthy M with a loving and faithful spouse. Once I KNEW this...I was determined to get it!!

I told my H that this was what I wanted. I told him that IF he wanted this too...GREAT! If not...I would find someone who would!!! He told me this was what HE wanted as well...so that was the PLAN we started to implement smile .

Like I’d said in another post, he thinks telling me he cheated should be the end of it. That with how many and any details is a no no and there’s no reason for me to know details. I know he cheated and that’s that.

HE doesn't get to decide what YOU need to know!!! He CAN keep all the details from you...that is his CHOICE...and no one can MAKE him change his mind. But YOU don't have to be with someone who doesn't RESPECT you enough to give you what you NEED to heal. YOU have the POWER now Dear Lady...even though it doesn't seem like it right now.

I hate to start over at this age, but I’d rather start over and find someone that I’d feel free and happy with than trying to fake it from here on out.

AMEN grin !!! I LOVE this attitude you have!!! Many people have to start over in life at different ages...from death or divorce. Change is scary...but it can be so REWARDING smile . I was in my early 20's with a toddler when my 1st H left me for the adultery co-conspirator I caught him with. I had no choice BUT to start over.

It truly was the BEST thing that ever happened to me...beside having my child smile . Of course...after I moved on...it was then that my 1st H decided I was THE ONE rolleyes . By then it was too little too late. When infidelity hit me again in my 2nd M...I was in my 50's. I KNEW from the experience in my 1st M that I COULD start over again. This gave me STRENGTH to tell my H that he COULD choose to not tell me what I needed to know...but if he DID...we were DONE!! Once you find that STRENGTH Dear Lay...NOTHING will stop you from getting what you NEED grin .

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6321   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8766581
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 6:24 PM on Thursday, November 24th, 2022

I think the problem with more questions is that the subject gets acclimated to the leads, so it becomes easier to lie without setting them off. Could be wrong, though.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 27872   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8766600
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 Ihatelying (original poster new member #82420) posted at 2:56 AM on Saturday, November 26th, 2022

I’ve told him that. He says then we will just have to get a divorce bc he’s not taking it. That I won’t believe anything he says and there’s no since I’m taking it. Plus, I’d never be happy and always think there’s more.
Well, if he took the freaking test then that would help a lot. I’m not just going to blindly trust AGAIN. not anymore! I’m tired of it. And the longer he says no, the longer I’m beginning not to care. I’m starting to build a wall to protect myself.

Ihatelying

posts: 30   ·   registered: Nov. 18th, 2022
id 8766757
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