Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: Beschaedigt

Just Found Out :
My gf of one year cheated on me with coworkers

default

 Mikenil (original poster new member #82401) posted at 7:50 AM on Wednesday, November 16th, 2022

My gf of one year cheated on me with two guys on a trip. I knew back from a friend of mine. When i confronted her she said sry and ask to forgive if i love her. I still love her but scared of her doing again. Anyone had exp like this before? Guy or girl, after event like this would might happen again??

posts: 2   ·   registered: Nov. 16th, 2022
id 8765355
flame

The1stWife ( member #58832) posted at 10:17 AM on Wednesday, November 16th, 2022

Yes it happened to me with a number of guys I dated. mad duh

I ended all those relationships.

I can tell you that I have about 15 friends (both Male and Female) that were cheated on by their BF/GF. They chose to get engaged and marry the cheater.

Everyone of them suffered with multiple infidelities in their marriage. For some reason the cheater saw the spouse as a doormat or pushover or whatever.

Point is the cheater had no values or respect.

I hope this helps you.

Sorry you are dealing with this in your life. But it does get better. And you will survive this. We all do. It just takes time.

[This message edited by The1stWife at 1:45 PM, Wednesday, November 16th]

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 12781   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8765359
default

svengundenblum ( new member #78794) posted at 10:39 AM on Wednesday, November 16th, 2022

Oh my God.

It may not seem like it but you have been given a great gift. A look into the future. A future that you have to avoid.

Save yourself.

She is a cheater.

She will not change. Not for you anyways.

Learn from this bitter experience.

Leave her behind you and go forward. Do not further entangle your life with this person.

posts: 29   ·   registered: May. 14th, 2021
id 8765360
default

Bigger ( Attaché #8354) posted at 11:10 AM on Wednesday, November 16th, 2022

Mikenil

Could you define her cheating?
It’s not so common that people engage in group-sex (as in cheating with two guys) or even one lover and then another over a weekend.
Was this physical cheating or was this some action that would be inappropriate for a person in an already committed relationship to do?

"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus

posts: 11130   ·   registered: Sep. 29th, 2005
id 8765364
default

Trdd ( member #65989) posted at 1:18 PM on Wednesday, November 16th, 2022

Such a good question Bigger!

posts: 696   ·   registered: Aug. 27th, 2018   ·   location: US
id 8765375
default

Buster123 ( member #65551) posted at 4:33 PM on Wednesday, November 16th, 2022

Brother I'm sorry you had to find us, but I will try to make it brief, only a year and she's already a proven serial cheater and liar, do yourself a favor a RUN !!! fast !!! also don't forget to get tested for STDs/STIs.

posts: 2691   ·   registered: Jul. 22nd, 2018
id 8765409
default

LegsWideShut ( member #80302) posted at 4:50 PM on Wednesday, November 16th, 2022

Not sure why you haven't heard the screen door shut behind you at this point.
Lets be honest....you HAVE seen your future.

posts: 83   ·   registered: May. 9th, 2022   ·   location: New England
id 8765411
default

Tanner ( member #72235) posted at 4:58 PM on Wednesday, November 16th, 2022

I’m sorry you had to find us. Not only did she cheat, she’s not sorry.

said sry and ask to forgive if i love her.

Remorseful people don’t continue to manipulate. One year, not married, be gone Brother.

[This message edited by Tanner at 5:43 PM, Wednesday, November 16th]

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R
BH M 31 years

posts: 1989   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8765413
default

Jimi007 ( new member #81198) posted at 8:57 AM on Saturday, November 19th, 2022

Just walk away ...She cheated because she loves You ?

Yes , and gèt tested for std/sti

Your not married.

You have been given a gift

posts: 6   ·   registered: Oct. 19th, 2022   ·   location: New Jersey
id 8765908
default

OrdinaryDude ( member #55676) posted at 9:10 AM on Saturday, November 19th, 2022

How, who, why, where, or how many times doesn’t matter…you’re not married and if you stay she will continue to treat you like this and you will experience what I have in my sig below.

You are better than she is, period, drop her like a hot rock and run.

[This message edited by OrdinaryDude at 9:19 AM, Saturday, November 19th]

I was young and dumb and stayed with a cheater.

posts: 3420   ·   registered: Oct. 19th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
id 8765909
default

Tempocontour ( member #65971) posted at 2:09 PM on Saturday, November 19th, 2022

So your gf said "sry and ask to forgive if i love her"? Umm, it doesn't work that way. You should tell her that if she loved you she would not have cheated. You've only been with her for a 1 year. You know now before investing more time into this relationship. Please leave her and find someone else. She'll cheat on you again.

posts: 86   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2018   ·   location: Northeast
id 8765928
default

Clint ( member #11711) posted at 1:29 PM on Sunday, November 20th, 2022

Ta Ta to the girlfriend. Only with her one year? No kids? She did two guys on the same trip? And then has the fkn temerity to say you'll forgive her if you love her?????? Wave goodbye to little miss knees wide open. You'll NEVER regret it.

[This message edited by Clint at 1:34 PM, Sunday, November 20th]

posts: 3454   ·   registered: Aug. 16th, 2006
id 8766051
default

pureheartkit ( member #62345) posted at 2:29 PM on Sunday, November 20th, 2022

Yes forgive and realize she's not ready for commitment.

Forgiveness doesn't mean stay in the relationship. Doesn't seem to me she's actually sorry, just wants you to excuse her decision. Wants to have both your love and attention and to do what she wants to do whenever. That's not trust or honesty which is the solid foundation you both need. She could go at any time on a whim.

What do you want from life? If it's not mental pain and worry and loss of resources in divorce and sharing kids half the time then take this as an opportunity to go and think about your precious future. Maybe she can then see how serious her choices are and look at her selfish mindset. Could be a good lesson for her if you explain it. Please read in our healing library. It was nothing you did or said. She chose. She chose.

If she wants to be totally free to be with other people, she should let you go and not ask you to take on the pain of betrayal. That is abuse, not love and respect.

Thank you everyone for your wisdom and healing.

posts: 2497   ·   registered: Jan. 19th, 2018
id 8766055
default

LIYA13 ( member #62026) posted at 11:56 AM on Monday, November 21st, 2022

Your gf does not value your relationship.

I agree this is the time to get out.

If you marry her she will do it again and ask for forgiveness if you love her.

Seriel cheater for sure.

You are a lucky one to discover this early on in a relationship. Imagine 10 years down the line after youre married and even after children. Avoid a worse heartache.

As they say...there are plenty decent fishes in the sea.

Hope you make the best decision for yourself.

posts: 200   ·   registered: Dec. 29th, 2017   ·   location: United Kingdom
id 8766133
default

Bigger ( Attaché #8354) posted at 2:54 PM on Monday, November 21st, 2022

I’m only posting this because this thread is second to top at the moment of posting. I hope this contribution allows this post to slip down into the black void of page two UNLESS the original poster returns and adds some content.

Keeping in mind that the Internet is an international phenomenon and that we have posters from all segments, countries, religions, social groups, value-sets… then I think we have way too little information in this single three-line post to offer any constructive relationship advice.
For all we know "cheating with two guys on a trip" could be anything from a sexual threesome, two separate sexual encounters over a weekend or… maybe something that most of us would consider "innocent" like going out to dinner with two male colleagues at a conference weekend.

Mikenil – if you want constructive advice you need to give us more.

"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus

posts: 11130   ·   registered: Sep. 29th, 2005
id 8766149
default

 Mikenil (original poster new member #82401) posted at 8:50 AM on Thursday, November 24th, 2022

Thanks for all advices. I knw most ppl advise to walk away from her but i wish it is that easy. We r together for one year but i ve known her for like total of almost 3 years. That time she had bf and i was her friend. Then we became together. I really likes her and i cant just move on easy, my problem.
I m willing to accept of she said wont happen again. Even though its scary and she might do it again.
For what happened at trip its threesome happened at a hotel. It was a work trip. She said had too much alcohol and yes she did bad she said.

posts: 2   ·   registered: Nov. 16th, 2022
id 8766548
default

Bigger ( Attaché #8354) posted at 9:15 AM on Thursday, November 24th, 2022

Based on everything in your last post (second post) the only sensible and logical thing to do is end this relationship.
No – based on the ability to enter a threesome with colleagues then this is doomed to happen again in some way or form.
Alcohol is not excuse UNLESS she was so drunk she couldn’t give consent or participate on her own accord. In that case it’s rape.

Minimum actions required for this relationship to even have the slightest chance:
a)She stops drinking.
b)She changes jobs.
c)She seeks IC to better understand why she had a threesome while in a relationship.

"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus

posts: 11130   ·   registered: Sep. 29th, 2005
id 8766549
default

Buffer ( member #71664) posted at 11:15 PM on Thursday, November 24th, 2022

Three years is a long time but trust is hard earned.
Time to move on as the tree is more than I got drink and had a threeway with two colleagues.
Run brother run.
One day at a time.

Buffer

posts: 1249   ·   registered: Sep. 24th, 2019   ·   location: Australia
id 8766625
default

LegsWideShut ( member #80302) posted at 11:45 PM on Thursday, November 24th, 2022

I hate to say it but there's a better than even chance you'll be here again. A threesome or two dudes at different time on the same trip isnt some stupid mistake, not by any stretch of the imagination, its who she is.
Sadly you refused to believe her when she showed you her true self.

posts: 83   ·   registered: May. 9th, 2022   ·   location: New England
id 8766628
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20221122 2002-2022 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy