I'm also a member of the Old High School girlfriend club. If it wasn't so horrible, I'd have to laugh. When mine left, the only thing he asked for, after a 45 yr. marriage and us having all of his parents mementos, was his Varsity Football and Basketball letters.
I think life got hard for him and so reverting to his teenage mind where the world is his oyster and all things are still possible and he hasn't made any career or investment mistakes was very appealing. So appealing he sort of lost his mind and went after it as hard as he used to go after his Scotch & soda.
There is absolutely no way to reason with someone in that mindset. None. Save yourself and don't even try. They twist themselves into pretzels to avoid being honest with themselves and everyone else.
Not all of these men (and women) always go off the deep end like this. Just the ones who are married to decent, honest, strong partners because over time, they resent their partner's ability to be so confident in knowing right from wrong and to, not only recover, but to learn from their mistakes. We're everything they thought they'd become and when they finally realize they didn't become it, they're lost. So what better solution to go back to being a teenager?
The good news on that one is, you just keep being the wonderful person you are, cherished by your friends and your family and your neighbors and your coworkers and be there for your children and let your lawyer handle the rest. In the end, whatever you get or don't get will be immaterial because you will move forward in your life and continue to be a successful person in every way that matters and the world will reward you with even more of the good stuff you have now.
As my counselor once said to me, after I sat there and whined for an hour about all the things I'd lost or would never get to do, etc. "But Josie, you're free."
I started to bristle at first but I knew from experience that every time I thought I was going to disagree with her, I'd think about it and eventually get it. And I did get it and she was right. Being free from him will simply make space in your life for more of the good stuff you have now.
BW, was 67; now 73; M 45 yrs., T 49 yrs.
DDay#1, 1982; DDay#2, May, 2017. D July, 2017