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Newest Member: Stillconfused2022

Just Found Out :
Help me get through this phase. Update on my (Read 180/not reconciling and WH wished me Happy Birthday) posts.

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 Momof2greatadults (original poster new member #80522) posted at 2:18 PM on Saturday, September 24th, 2022

First, let me say I'm glad that it is the weekend and I do have something fun to look forward to today but, it has been a difficult week. Monday was my birthday and WH did wish me HB (I know he thinks he was being sincere, not sarcastic). He knows he is completely in the wrong for hiding his 3 year affair and (off and on he says but he is a Liar so who knows) and OW pregnancy and now OC birth until he couldn't any longer.
Anyway, I am having a rough time at work for several reasons. It is hard being a teacher's assistant when your not at 150%. Anything less when working with young children is extra exhausting and stressful because education is really suffering after Covid. Teaching is not like it used to be.
I am glad I filed for divorce within 4 weeks of his big reveal to me. I am so done with this life with him! We were living together but not very emotionally connected and hadn't been physical in over three years (I now know it was because he didn't want to cheat on his girlfriend with his wife).I received a copy of his lawyer's response to my divorce papers he was served four weeks ago. He admitted to most counts except for the one that's says he treated me (the Plaintiff) "in a cruel manner that caused severe emotional stress that could affect my physical and mental well being if we continued in this marriage". This helps establish for an Absolute divorce in MD so you do not have to be separated for a year. His lawyer also said that "the plaintiff could make substantially more money if she chose to do so". I am sure this is his way of trying to prevent me from getting alimony and half of his pension. I am sorry if saying this makes anyone think that I am greedy but I am putting myself first for the 1st time ever! I started working in the school system when our youngest went to school all day for two reasons. First, so I could be there for our kids on the same schedule because WH only gets 1 day off during the week with 10-14 hour days. Believe me I tried to convince him to find another job so he could spend a little more time with us but he wouldn't even explore that! I now think he preferred that to being a husband and father. I stayed in this low paying job so at least we'd have that 1 day a week to spend it as a family. Now he is throwing that in my face. I just turned 54. I do have an Associates degree but I am not sure if I can get a job making "substantially more money" at this point. I can't even think about doing any of that right now because of all the other things that his unexpected announcement has dealt me. I am so worried about the debt we have. I will never know how much he spent on gambling and the OW. Now he has got a baby. I had to file first so she doesn't get his money. 32 years of marriage (37 together) and I don't deserve what he is putting me through right now. I am a planner by nature and it is killing me that I can't plan for what is going to happen next. I am in IC and leaning on friends and family but I am trying not to worry my kids too much because I know they are suffering too. Any one have any advice or reassurance for me? I am crying while writing this because I hold things in and try to be strong but I think I am barely holding it together. Thanks in advance.

Taking it one day at time and trying not to panic!

posts: 24   ·   registered: Aug. 12th, 2022   ·   location: Maryland
id 8756883
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ChamomileTea ( Guide #53574) posted at 3:09 PM on Saturday, September 24th, 2022

His lawyer also said that "the plaintiff could make substantially more money if she chose to do so". I am sure this is his way of trying to prevent me from getting alimony and half of his pension. I am sorry if saying this makes anyone think that I am greedy but I am putting myself first for the 1st time ever!

He's an ass. mad I don't usually get mad like that, but that guy is a turd. How dare he say that he hasn't treated you "in a cruel manner that caused severe emotional stress"?! That's EXACTLY what he has done. Even HE admits he's a liar, and he's lying about that as well.

You are NOT "greedy" and no one with more than fluff in their head would ever think that. You are absolutely smart to put yourself first for a change. He's been putting himself first for a long, long time and he's got the homewrecker to help him pay his bills. They've got combined income, so SHE can go out and make "substantially more" if they want more. Don't feel a moment's pity for this guy, not one. He made his bed and he did it deliberately. You've got an established history of working your job in the school system. Your resume doesn't support higher earning for one thing. For another, you've been married for over thirty years. He couldn't have worked his job without your support. You should be entitled to half of everything, including his retirement account and alimony to offset the difference between your salaries. I wouldn't settle for a penny less than that either.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with all this. It's going to get better though. Have faith. This is temporary and it's going to be okay in the end.

((big hugs))

BW: 2004(online EAs), 2014 (multiple PAs)Married 38 years; in R with fWH for 7

No one can make you into a liar but you.

posts: 6167   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
id 8756887
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BreakingBad ( member #75779) posted at 3:10 PM on Saturday, September 24th, 2022

Wow Mom2GA! I hear you.
I've read your posts to others. You are always so kind and supportive and sensible. So, here is a mirror back to you.

You are doing soooo much right! Please know that.

I am sorry if saying this makes anyone think that I am greedy...


Pff, you are doing just what you should.

Protect yourself. Put yourself first. Love and care for yourself. It's high time.

You deserve fair treatment, and I'm sorry that you need to work so hard and draw such firm boundaries to get it. But that's really all you're asking for--what's fair.

Your STBXH is just so used to everything going his way (family at home, a wife with the flexibility in her career to raise the kids and run the home front, girlfriend on the side, etc) that he feels "wronged" by your requests for what is fair in the dissolution of your marriage. He'd love to keep the system in place where he takes more and you give more. But that's over. You now see the situation clearly and are protecting your interests.

You go, girl!! Today, let us lift you up.

"Don't you love it, don't you love it?No, I ain't happy yet.But I'm way less sad."[Credit to group AJR]

Me=BW; fWH=online affairs with 3 APs over 2.5-3 yrsBoth in IC & MCMarried 31 yrs now2 kids-both in HSAttempting R

posts: 286   ·   registered: Oct. 31st, 2020
id 8756888
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Crazytrain101 ( member #48200) posted at 9:24 PM on Saturday, September 24th, 2022

Momoftwogreatadults, I understand you/your situation fully. I have a business (just 3 years old) stayed at home for 10 years raising kids as my WH said he needs me here so he can work his business and support the family. My ambitions took a back seat just until recently as I have business that STILL allows my WH to make the big bucks while I work around schedules and the full parenting duties.

I NO way think its greedy to be compensated for your lost time and the loss of a career and substantial income you could have been growing, in the nicest way you need to fake a stance of power.

Get a 2021 planner and start going back writing every thing you did on a daily basis as the parent "holding it down"while he was killing it financially.

Have the proof on hand.

[This message edited by Crazytrain101 at 8:57 PM, Sunday, September 25th]

6 years ago-found out he was a serial cheaterReconciled-2015 Back again September 2022 as WH is a cheater again Heading to Divorce

posts: 1768   ·   registered: Jun. 10th, 2015   ·   location: Ohio
id 8756928
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 Momof2greatadults (original poster new member #80522) posted at 2:52 AM on Sunday, September 25th, 2022

Thank you so much everyone! I don't know what's wrong with me today. I think I'm cried more today than I have in weeks. I don't think I mentioned that I had my daughter home for 5 days and I took her to the airport last Sunday. That's part of why I'm having such a rough week. I just miss her so much. I have my son and he's a great support but I feel guilty that I'm not looking out for them as much they're looking out for me. Their dad is being a total ass to them too. My daughter got really mad when the confirmation of the DNA test came out last month and told him that they were not as important as his mother and his sister who he told first. He said he told them first because they were pushing him to get it and he didn't need to get it because he knew he was the father. I asked him why did you know you were the father? Was this planned? And he said no he just knew she wasn't sleeping with anybody else. O w did not block my son from social media and I thought maybe seeing a picture of the baby would help me to realize that this is real because sometimes I just can't believe this is happening to me. I do not feel sorry for him and I do not want him back but I'm just so scared of everything that's ahead of me. Thank you guys so much for all the support. I just want to get to the next phase so bad so at least I know what I'm facing.

Taking it one day at time and trying not to panic!

posts: 24   ·   registered: Aug. 12th, 2022   ·   location: Maryland
id 8756953
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The1stWife ( member #58832) posted at 5:47 AM on Sunday, September 25th, 2022

Lawyers have to say certain things as a way to protect their client. Don’t put too much stock in what his lawyer says.

He will fight you about money b/c now he has to pay for two families and he doesn’t want to. He has to try to get what he can for himself and he views you as his enemy. He can allege you could make more $ only to try to stop you from getting your fair share.

Just know the D will be challenging but also know you have the upper hand right now. He just doesn’t like that.

Tune him and his attorney out.

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

posts: 12780   ·   registered: May. 19th, 2017
id 8756964
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Grieving ( member #79540) posted at 11:39 AM on Sunday, September 25th, 2022

You are not being greedy. You are asking for a fair distribution of assets after a 37 year relationship. And he absolutely treated you in a cruel manner. That is a perfectly accurate description of what he did. I understand about the job—teaching is utterly grueling right now. Trying to deal with any significant life stressors and still do your job just feels crushing. Hugs.

Try listening to Tanya Tucker’s "I don’t owe you anything." It might be a pick me up.

Married for 20 years with two kids when my husband had a six month affair with a coworker. DD1: 6/2020. DD2: 7/3/2020. Reconciling

posts: 274   ·   registered: Oct. 30th, 2021
id 8756974
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HarryD ( member #72423) posted at 1:36 PM on Sunday, September 25th, 2022

You were married for 37 years. You have to be close to 60. Retirement is a few years away. You must protect your future. Protect how you are going to live after retirement. You are not in your 30 s to build your own retirement account. So now you are too old To Really do anything for yourself. You need half his pension, half all assets of the marriage. To figure out how life is going to go after Retirement

posts: 119   ·   registered: Dec. 30th, 2019   ·   location: NY
id 8756978
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Crazytrain101 ( member #48200) posted at 9:08 PM on Sunday, September 25th, 2022

Momof2greatadults, I have loved all the comments of encouragement thus far. It seems as if your WH has been brow beating you for years, diminishing your worth and contributions to the whole. Mine has done the same, WE have to shake off the funk and see clearly our value.

I am so sure this is surreal to you, I can't imagine the shock and dismay.

Much hugs and prayers to you.

6 years ago-found out he was a serial cheaterReconciled-2015 Back again September 2022 as WH is a cheater again Heading to Divorce

posts: 1768   ·   registered: Jun. 10th, 2015   ·   location: Ohio
id 8757019
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Onthefence1 ( new member #77198) posted at 11:21 PM on Sunday, September 25th, 2022

I'm so sorry you're going through this awful situation. You're going to get through this.
You didn't mention your lawyer, but please try to let your lawyer worry about all this crap, instead of you worrying about it. That's why you're paying the lawyer.
Also, please let others in your life help you, including your kids. Giving others the opportunity to help is a blessing and a gift to them.
Oh, p.s. you're absolutely NOT greedy. You worked your ass off for years so he could have a family and a home to come home to and so he could work and make the big bucks FOR YOUR FAMILY. All you're asking for is your share of your communal money.
Please take care.

posts: 2   ·   registered: Jan. 26th, 2021
id 8757026
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 Momof2greatadults (original poster new member #80522) posted at 2:37 AM on Monday, September 26th, 2022

Harry D.
You were married for 37 years. You have to be close to 60. Retirement is a few years away. You must protect your future. Protect how you are going to live after retirement.
Sorry for the confusion. I just turned 54 and could work 10-11 years somewhere.

No, I was 16 when we started dating and 21 when we married.

Taking it one day at time and trying not to panic!

posts: 24   ·   registered: Aug. 12th, 2022   ·   location: Maryland
id 8757039
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 Momof2greatadults (original poster new member #80522) posted at 2:19 PM on Sunday, October 9th, 2022

Hello everyone, I just wanted to give another update and ask for advice. It's been 10 or 11 weeks (I guess that's a good sign that I have lost count) since the birth of my WH's child and his reveal to me of both the affair and child when he couldn't hide it any longer.
Alot has happened since I last posted. WH responded to my attorneys paperwork with 2 measly half pgs where he admitted to all the interrogatories except for treating me so cruelly that it effected my emotional well being and that I wasn't able to support myself. His lawyer said "I could make significantly more money if I chose to do so". I stayed in the school system to be on the same schedule as my kids and I stayed now that they are grown because his only day off is Wednesday and I thought maybe he'd want to at least have a day with me in the summer. I have found alot of evidence since scrutinizing all the copies of credit card statements left here that he spent quite a few Wednesdays taking her out and shopping while I was at work. I have seen weekly shopping trips to Walmart (we never shopped their for our house) and I have discovered more of her bills he has paid for her long before he left. I am trying to keep up with the copying and making piles for me and the lawyer. I am exhausted and overwhelmed!
Here is just some of what is on my mind and any advice is appreciated.
1) My daughter is very mad and hurt and told her dad she didn't want to talk to him unless he took responsibility for his actions. He has not tried to contact her in any way since Aug. She lives out of state so she hasn't seen him since June. I seem to upset her when we talk about anything currently going on with her dad and the divorce. It's been really hard.
2) My MIL was blindsided, too. I try to visit her a couple times a month as she lives 45min away. She has texts me almost everyday saying "that my kids and I are her family and she can't forgive her son but she can't disown him either" .She has cried to me each and every time that "she is not ready to meet her new grand baby". I told her that she may want to because she needs to see how OW is treating the baby and her son. I knew OW and she is not the "mentally healthiest" person. She had told us about many childhood trauma and abuse that she had suffered. I have found out that my MIL has been keeping things from me such as the money she gave her son and now I found out WH brought the baby (not baby mama though) to meet his Mom. My MIL has great grandchildren older than her new grandbaby! My daughter said I was putting her in the middle when I told her what has been happening with her Grandma and I so haven't told a soul that I know she has now seen the baby. That would upset my daughter and make my son mad at Grandma. I guess I know the day is coming where I will have to go NC with MIL too, but it will be so hard! I know she is trying hard to stay in the middle but I see her going more to his side but I can't say much because I don't want to reveal my "sources" of info. Thanksgiving is coming and my MIL has said she was cooking for just for my kids and I. My daughter will be coming home and I don't want to cause more emotional distress to MIL by me not coming to Thanksgiving dinner or me making my own dinner for the kids and I. She will be all alone if I do that. My WH is a retail manager for a grocery store that is open all holidays and will most likely be working.
3) And if I don't have enough on my plate, my husband's lawyer finally sent me papers on October 6th. I have 43 pieces of documentation I have to gather in the next 30 days. I'm going to try to do everything I can myself as I'm sure I am less than half of the $5,000 retainer and I don't know what I'm going to do after that. My lawyer did say he would work with me and he expects my husband to agree to everything since he doesn't want to go to court and have everything come out in the open.
Thank you so much for reading all this there is so much going on and this is just part of what I'm going through. I know I probably should move over to General but really it has been less than 3 months and I wish it was already over. Every day is hard but I am getting stronger. I've lost some weight but probably too fast and not in the right way but I have more to go. People have been telling me how good I look and all the while I'm just holding everything inside as much as I can. I am doing counseling once a week and that has been helpful. I'm treating myself and putting aside my problems and going to a movie today by myself. Thanks for all the advice and support! smile

Taking it one day at time and trying not to panic!

posts: 24   ·   registered: Aug. 12th, 2022   ·   location: Maryland
id 8758808
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ChamomileTea ( Guide #53574) posted at 12:58 AM on Monday, October 10th, 2022

You're fine here. It's actually easier for people to keep up with your story if it's all in one place.

My daughter said I was putting her in the middle when I told her what has been happening with her Grandma and I so haven't told a soul that I know she has now seen the baby. That would upset my daughter and make my son mad at Grandma.

I'd think you're kind of "damned if you do and damned if you don't" in this situation. On the one hand, your daughter says she doesn't want to hear it, but on the other, she's putting herself out of the loop and doesn't know what's going on. She's an adult and I can understand that it's difficult to deal with feelings of both loyalty and disappointment regarding cheating parents. I felt that way too once upon a time. But you're actually going through something right now, and while it's best that you don't treat your kid like your therapist, a modicum of empathy from her wouldn't be out of place. I think it's okay to say to her that you understand she can't fully empathize with what you've been through because she lacks the personal experience and this just isn't something which translates fully to the imagination of others, but you ARE going through something traumatic and life-changing and you're doing the best you can under very difficult circumstances. She needs to decide if she wants to be IN your inner circle or out of it. That's not picking sides.

You can certainly refrain from bad-mouthing and editorializing, but at a certain point, our kids have to decide if they want an adult relationship with us. Keeping her informed of what's going on in your life is NOT "putting her in the middle". Believe me, I know the difference well. My mother used to tell me to "tell that sawed off son of a bitch that he goddam better write that check before the weekend was over" and that I better have it with me when I got back. THAT's putting a kid in the middle.

I have found out that my MIL has been keeping things from me such as the money she gave her son and now I found out WH brought the baby (not baby mama though) to meet his Mom.

Your MIL is in the unenviable position of being pulled in two different directions. On the one side, you and the grandchildren she's already attached to with the right clearly being on your side. On the other, the child she gave birth to and another grandchild who she won't be allowed to know if she refuses to play ball. Your cheating WH is quite likely to create his own narrative about "being unhappy" and God only knows what other excuses to make it sound like he didn't have any choice but to drop his pants and impregnate some immoral interloper. You know yourself though from having adult children that it's nearly impossible to imagine what they could do to make you stop loving them. So, when you do the mental math, it does seem unlikely that your MIL is going remain firmly in your camp.

I'll be honest with you, it'll drive the OW mad that you've still got a cordial relationship with your STBXMIL, so if it was me, I'd downgrade the relationship to "friendly acquaintance" and keep my own council on important matters. At that point, you just assume that anything you say is getting back to the cheaters and even use that in your favor if needs be. I once had a boss who used to get in people's faces and scream at them. I happened to mention to one of my work friends (who I KNEW would carry the tale) that if he ever yelled at me like that, he'd be finishing my shift himself. That guy would practically turn blue holding his tongue when he was mad at me, but he never said a cross word from then on.

The alternative is that you can come clean and admit that you know she lied and have a talk about the importance of honesty and all that, but your MIL is compromised and I don't see that ever changing. If the relationship were to become toxic to you, you could certainly go NC, but I wouldn't think it necessary unless she were to become outwardly abusive. Right now, it seems she's going out of her way to make you think she's Switzerland so clearly, she cares about what you think. So, heck yeah, if you want to do Thanksgiving, I'd just make a point of not discussing the cheaters and their drama. NO ONE deserves the schadenfreude of drama at your expense there.

It really does sound like there's a lot of pressure on you to conform to other people's expectations right now though. I hope you're putting together a good emotional support network. It's super important to have friends and family members who you can be real and authentic with. You'll want a good therapist too, of course, and there's here. There are so many people we have to be guarded with in this kind of situation, but having those few, key people in your corner can keep you from isolating yourself. That temptation to push EVERYONE away can be strong and it's easy to give in to it when you're not maintaining openness with anyone.

Remember that no matter how much things suck right now, it's a temporary state of being. Things are going to get better. The more you believe it, the sooner it will be.

((hugs))

BW: 2004(online EAs), 2014 (multiple PAs)Married 38 years; in R with fWH for 7

No one can make you into a liar but you.

posts: 6167   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
id 8758859
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 Momof2greatadults (original poster new member #80522) posted at 2:12 AM on Tuesday, October 11th, 2022

Thank you Chamomile for helping me break all that down. You are very good at helping me see the bigger picture. Are you a therapist😍? I was able to go see the paralegal at my lawyers office today and she helped me feel a little better about all the paperwork ahead of me and some of my worries. I will not be sharing any of that info with MIL.

Taking it one day at time and trying not to panic!

posts: 24   ·   registered: Aug. 12th, 2022   ·   location: Maryland
id 8759006
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ChamomileTea ( Guide #53574) posted at 4:48 PM on Tuesday, October 11th, 2022

You're welcome, and no.. not a therapist. Just a survivor. You will be too, and you'll be surprised how easy it is to slice through the bullshit when you're on the other side. smile

BW: 2004(online EAs), 2014 (multiple PAs)Married 38 years; in R with fWH for 7

No one can make you into a liar but you.

posts: 6167   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
id 8759084
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PricklePatch ( member #34041) posted at 8:53 PM on Tuesday, October 11th, 2022

I would under the guise of having left overs make a whatever your family traditions are. I made it clear that if toxic to me people are there I wouldn’t be. Ended up leaving a family members house and spend it alone.

While you don’t want to hurt your MIL. I would suggest putting strong boundaries in place. Inevitably in laws will chose blood. You can be sure if you left due to an affair, you would be persona non grata.

I cannot image mentally cruelty of what you have gone through.

BS Fwh

posts: 3178   ·   registered: Nov. 28th, 2011
id 8759105
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CommonLeadership48 ( new member #79928) posted at 12:29 PM on Saturday, October 15th, 2022

Good morning. I just ran across this update post and want to echo what others have been advising. You of all people should be compensated to the max for suffering this betrayal. Get all you can in compensation for the 30+ years you invested in this family.

As for your MIL, I feel sadness for her; she's caught in the middle and doesn't need this trauma. I'm guessing she's close to 80 by now and most likely a widow? In any event,her son is an ass and deserves what's coming his way. He can pay your attorney fees.

posts: 15   ·   registered: Feb. 13th, 2022   ·   location: TN
id 8759706
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 Momof2greatadults (original poster new member #80522) posted at 2:43 AM on Sunday, October 16th, 2022

Thank you Common leadership. Yes, my MIL is 87 and a widow for decades. I am the one person who visited her regularly in the summer when I was off but it is more difficult now with only have two days to get everything done. It is almost an hr ride each way to visit. WH has been going 1-2 a week now but he would go 4-6 weeks between seeing her prior to Sept.
PS - my daughter lives in TN. I have spent a lot of time in your state since 2015. She made a Covid decision and moved to Arkansas fall 2020. It was the hardest year of my life having her so far away and not being able to help her or get to her. I ended up having to drive a 15 ft U-Haul across Arkansas and Tennessee. I thought it was in the top five hardest things I've ever had to do but now all that has happened to me in the last 11 weeks has suddenly Rose to number one on my list!

Taking it one day at time and trying not to panic!

posts: 24   ·   registered: Aug. 12th, 2022   ·   location: Maryland
id 8759802
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 Momof2greatadults (original poster new member #80522) posted at 2:59 AM on Sunday, October 16th, 2022

Another update-I saw WH yesterday for the first time since 9/7. I think it went pretty well and I was pretty calm. He's a retail grocery store manager and they always have a Christmas meeting where they get lots of random free merchandise. He said he wanted to bring by some things for me and our son. I was very calm but sarcastic when he got out of the car with the two bags of stuff and I said "I feel really weird about accepting this stuff". I said "what, you can f*** somebody for almost 4 years but here's some chips and it'll make it all better?" He looked so ashamed. You can tell he feels super guilty and he even teared up once or twice. He had finally sent a text to our daughter after 8 weeks of dead silence. She had told him in August she was very angry and didn't want to talk to him anymore but he didn't even try. He was tearing up saying he misses her everyday. I said then why would you wait 8 weeks to even bother contacting her. She sent him back a really nasty text and I don't think he has tried again. Then he waited a whole day to contact our son. So when I saw him I gave him some calm but criticizing remarks about how he has always favored our daughter and didn't put as much effort into our son. I believe my husband have ADHD as well as our son does and I said maybe they are too similar and he didn't know how to deal with it. Anyway, I've lost 28 lb so far on the divorce diet so I asked him if I looked good. He said I did and I said, "well I've lost 250 lb" and then I pointed to him laugh
It's also been a hard week because I went into one of the local grocery stores that we both have worked in in the past. I had purposely stayed out of there for 10 weeks out of respect for him and keeping the story quiet as we get closer to go to court. I eventually found out that the rumors of him and his OW have been going around since 2021. Some people didn't believe it so they said they didn't tell me. Rumors spread like wildfire through this company so I am just completely shocked again that no one had told me anything. Then I find out OW came into the store about 5 weeks ago and paraded around with the baby and told people that my WH was the father of her child and show pictures of them together. I probably went too far mentioning that to him last night but I said I stayed out of there at a respect for you and she can't even give me a little bit of respect. I told him how the rumor was spread all over the company and he looks surprised. Anyway maybe I shouldn't have said that but otherwise I was very proud of everything else I said. Then I said well you better go home and change some diapers. I said I want to be NC from now on. Told him to just send me an email if he needed something. Thank you so much for all your advice and spending all the time on my very devastating and unique situation. Sending out much love to everybody💕💕

Taking it one day at time and trying not to panic!

posts: 24   ·   registered: Aug. 12th, 2022   ·   location: Maryland
id 8759806
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ChamomileTea ( Guide #53574) posted at 3:38 AM on Sunday, October 16th, 2022

I'm super proud of you! You are a rock star, I just want you to know it. It's only been eleven weeks since this guy dropped a hand grenade into your life, and not only are you surviving, you're speaking your truth and fuck that guy if he doesn't like hearing it. Brava! He thought he could buy your good will with a couple bags of groceries and a hang dog look, but you aren't taken in by door-to-door snake oil peddlers. Kapow! 💪

I am sorry you're going through all that, and I know days are still up and down and they will be for a pretty long while. But some days, you just gotta take the win and pat yourself on the back. YOU are awesome. grin

((big hugs))

BW: 2004(online EAs), 2014 (multiple PAs)Married 38 years; in R with fWH for 7

No one can make you into a liar but you.

posts: 6167   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
id 8759808
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