I’m not sure if that title is exactly how I wanted to express what I’m feeling, but it’s the best I can come up with.
In a nutshell, as I see the world, I am basically a conservative type person, was raised a certain way, education was second only to faith and family and being brought up "right". Respectful. Dependable. Responsible. Loyal. A "lady". A "good person".
Being in trouble with the law would fall under the category of "not in the realm of possibility". Promiscuity was not even an option.
So I get how my upbringing sets me up for this.
For some time now, years and years, I have felt as though I am living someone else’s life. That somewhere in the world there must be a radical, mover and shaker, motorcycle riding, covered in tattoos, kind of person, who is living in a cute house with a white picket fence, president of the PTA, with 2.5 kids, and a husband who loves her.
And she is going fricken crazy, too!
It seems to me that my kids have suffered all kinds of trials and tribulations based probably (hopefully) mostly on there conditions at birth due to their birth mothers addictions. Almost exclusively, there "female interests" have been girls/women in abusive situations, addicts, teen mothers without significant others, etc. (It is not my intention WHATSOEVER to demean any of these girls or their situations, I’m just saying it’s different from my experience being raised.)
Last night one of my sons told me that he is "talking to" a girl for a couple of months now who has shared with him that she was raped by her father, has a child by him, and has to do whatever he says because he threatens to take the child away. He told me this at about 1:30 in the morning, and I’ve been thinking about it ever sense.
Last night I told him that was a very serious and horrible situation, that the father would be unable to take her child without any proof that the child belongs to him, and he is refusing to give DNA,
probably to avoid prosecution.And I told him that maybe we could talk about it a little later since it was so late and he had to go to work this morning. And he agreed.
This morning my sister-in-law called about another thing, and so I took the opportunity to explain to her my husband/her brothers situation regarding his health and the potentially life-threatening situation he is in.
My son was INFURIATED. He interrupted the conversation three times to point out a fire, to turn his music up on his phone, and to ask me some silly question. I told him I would speak to him as soon as I was through talking with her.
Now he is angry with me because:
1. I talk on the phone sometimes when I take him to work
2. I should talk on the phone to other people only when I am not with him.
He’s been expressing these things for the last week or so as I speak with a friend on the phone when she is driving to work and driving home from work because the times coincide because she is in a two hour different time zone.
Anyway, this morning I told him that it was rude to interrupt me while I was talking on the phone. He said I should’ve not been talking on the phone when I was driving him to work. I explained that I had not yet found the time to call his dad’s sister and explain her brother/my husbands updated health situation just to keep her informed.
I told him that his behavior was no different than a three-year-old in the backseat trying to get mommy‘s attention when she’s talking to daddy, or something of that nature.
And have I mentioned that 90% of the time that I take him to and from work, 30 minutes each way, he is mute. Just plays on his phone.
I normally don’t say anything, but today I sort of let him see my frustration with the situation.
I do need to say that I think he was expecting us to speak about the situation with his lady friend while on the way to work, although that had not been officially set up.
So today, I’m sitting here wondering where in the world is that woman who has my house and 2.5 "normal" children, and is she ready to change places with me yet?
By the way, full disclosure, I do have four tattoos… So I guess I’m gravitating to the "other side". I still have not however ever ridden a motorcycle and never will! It scares me so!
So, just ignore me… I’m venting here I guess. And making a bit of a funny as well.
Y’all have a great day!